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Forgotten Lust

By qpt in Op-Ed
Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 02:20:06 PM EST
Tags: Culture (all tags)

As reported in the Kansas City Star, a 15 year old boy has somehow forgotten about a romantic liaison he may or may not have had with one of his middle-school teacher. This story is both deeply saddening and perplexing. Saddening, because the beautiful act of sexual union has been so deprecated in our country that a young boy does not find it important enough to bother remembering. Perplexing, because sex seems to be precisely the sort of thing a 15 year old male would remember.

If even a lust-filled adolescent male cannot be relied upon to remember a bout of love making, how can the rest of use hope to keep any memory of our sexual unions?

Of course, one might point to the story and accuse the absent-minded young man of lying in order to protect his lust-interest. Doing so would be an offensive and unwarranted attack on the young man's character, however. Furthermore, in the absence of contradicting evidence, the most intellectually honest course of action is to take the young man at his word and accept that he truly did forget.

One might postulate that the young man is exceptionally forgetful and that an average individual need not ever fear losing the memory of a sexual partner. However, even though the boy did apologize for having a faulty memory, there is no indication that his recollective faculties were unusually poor. Indeed, he was most likely sheepish at having failed to remember what he believed should have been easy to recollect. Furthermore, a 15-year-old male, of all people, seems to be the very last sort of person to forget a sexual partner. The only reasonable conclusion, then, is that the average individual entirely forgets about intimate partners.

"But qpt," you exclaim "I can remember who I've had sex with!" However, it would obviously make very little sense if one remembered forgetting about sexual partners. In fact, your present state of mind is most likely exactly what one would expect it to be if you had engaged in coitus with numerous partners who have since escaped your memory.

In fact, there is little evidence to deny the claim that the average individual engages in many forgotten sexual exploits. Accepting this lends an entirely new perspective to many social interactions. Perhaps the flirting stranger is actually last-night's intimate partner. Perhaps the strange winking woman at the front desk is merely signaling her enjoyment of the previous afternoon's bout of lovemaking.

It is perhaps time for America to change the way it looks at sex. We are most likely a nation of sluts, engaging in frequent intercourse with a multitude of partners. The mere fact that none of it is remembered is no reason not to embrace it. Rather than clinging to puritanical sexual ideals, it is time that we as a nation opened our arms to the constant orgies of anonymous strangers that go on in every city and town across the country. As we come to accept this facet of ourselves, perhaps we will come to remember it also.

Finally, as an individual, I hope this will help you come to terms with your unrequited lust for someone. After all, the odds are good that you've fucked `em and forgotten `em.


Voxel dot net
o Managed Hosting
o VoxCAST Content Delivery
o Raw Infrastructure


Have you forgotten a sexual partner?
o Yes 100%

Votes: 42
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o reported
o Kansas City Star
o Also by qpt

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Forgotten Lust | 30 comments (21 topical, 9 editorial, 0 hidden)
True enough! (4.14 / 7) (#1)
by deefer on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 04:25:40 AM EST

If asked to give you a complete list of past lovers, I'd have to stop and think very hard about it. And I'd probably omit one or two.

I'm not so much of a slut these days; one night stands (why do they call it that? I'm usually lying down!) don't really do it for me any more.

This boy needs to have a card on him at all times, with his name and address written on it. I wonder if he's honestly ever said "Let me call you sweetheart... I keep forgetting your name?"

As an off topic rant, last week I sat behind a couple of 12 year old girls on the bus, who were talking about boys in hushed tones. All kiddy type "my mate fancies your mate" stuff; brought a smile to my face remembering. Then one of them said a mate of hers had been asked to have sex by some boy, and she was thinking about doing it. I was horrified; twelve year old girls considering becoming sexually active? I'm no prude, but these kids should be playing kiss chase for their kicks, not embarking on full on sexual relations. What sort of upbringing are we giving our kids these days? Frightening; or maybe I'm just an old fart...

Kill the baddies.
Get the girl.
And save the entire planet.

Come on... (3.00 / 8) (#2)
by boris on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 04:27:30 AM EST

Even for the sake of an argument, I can't pretend to beleive that the boy has really forgotten if he had sex or not. It's just a way of saying neither 'yes' or 'no'.

The write-up irritated me, since I've never had such a wild life as to start forgetting my sexual partners (and, frankly, I doubt that many kuro5hiners have). But at least, it's an opportunity to plug a favorite joke.

- Vasil' Ivanovich, how many women have you had?
- Does Anka count?
- Yes.
- Well, if Anka counts, then one.

IT'S HUMOUR DAMN YOU ALL (3.75 / 4) (#4)
by Delirium on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 04:51:35 AM EST

I think that it should be tolerably obvious that he is not telling the truth when he says he can't remember whether he had sex or not. Taking this obvious absurdity at face value is the basis of the piece, which is rather humorous in my opinion.

[ Parent ]
No, I do not think so. (4.25 / 4) (#5)
by qpt on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 05:11:17 AM EST

The story is sectioned "Op-Ed" and the topic is "Culture". Were it humor, the story would surely be in the "Humor" section.

Really, Delirium, this is elementary.

Domine Deus, creator coeli et terrae respice humilitatem nostram.
[ Parent ]

rumoh (4.00 / 4) (#7)
by speek on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 08:35:28 AM EST

I get the feeling qpt wants the Humor section to chase him, and not the other way around.

al queda is kicking themsleves for not knowing about the levees
[ Parent ]

humor? (none / 0) (#20)
by garlic on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 07:34:42 PM EST

i'm confused now. if it's humor, how did he fake up the kcstar link?

HUSI challenge: post 4 troll diaries on husi without being outed as a Kuron, or having the diaries deleted or moved by admins.
[ Parent ]

the kid was retarded (none / 0) (#24)
by coffee17 on Fri Jul 13, 2001 at 01:44:17 PM EST

If you read some other articles you'll see that the teacher is a special ed teacher and the boy in question was her student. It's possible this boy is mentally retarded, or at the very least he's not the sharpest scapel at the abortion clinic. It's quite likely that he doesn't remember. While the article states the boy as saying "I have a bad memory" I feel that it is dishonest of the other articles to not report that he is in special education classes, in order to give a better light as to how he might possibly not remember having sex. Heck, for all we know, he might think that kissing is having sex. The only clue that we have to his mental competancy is that it is sub-par, just not how sub-par it might be.


[ Parent ]

Abortion (none / 0) (#28)
by delmoi on Sat Jul 14, 2001 at 08:13:36 PM EST

They don't use scalpels at aportion clinics.
"'argumentation' is not a word, idiot." -- thelizman
[ Parent ]
they don't? (none / 0) (#29)
by coffee17 on Mon Jul 16, 2001 at 03:10:53 PM EST

hmm, I'd never looked into it, I just thought that it was an amazingly cute saying. Sigh, not only do lemmings not jump off cliffs (but disney filmed them as they were tossed off, cute to think of disney making a snuff film), but they don't use scaples at abortion clinics.

But, "He's not the suckiest vacuum as the abortion." just doesn't have the same ring to it, I don't suppose you know of sometning of the same flavor but would be in the spirit of correctness?


[ Parent ]

Why I said +1 (3.20 / 5) (#6)
by loaf on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 08:00:30 AM EST

The story mildly intrigued me, but I voted +1 because the poll made me laugh.

It was funnier when it was (3.66 / 3) (#10)
by Karmakaze on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 09:10:55 AM EST

Do you believe in predestination? - Yes
[ Parent ]
Hmmm... Maybe it's just a problem of definitions (4.00 / 7) (#14)
by flimflam on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 10:28:57 AM EST

From the article:
"She said they had sex," the mother said. "They sat on my couch and held hands ... and she admitted it. Both said they would not stop seeing each other."
Well, if the mother thinks that holding hands constitutes sex, perhaps the boy has a right to be confused...

-- I am always optimistic, but frankly there is no hope. --Hosni Mubarek
Misinterpretation (none / 0) (#30)
by asqui on Wed Jul 18, 2001 at 12:17:45 AM EST

Umm... I think the mother meant.. the boy and teacher sat on her couch together while holding hands and told her that they had had sex. Not "the teacher admitted to holding his hand"


People who live in stucco houses shouldn't throw quiche.
[ Parent ]
Yeah, that's it (4.00 / 6) (#18)
by FlightTest on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 11:20:42 AM EST

Yeah, I've actually had quite a fulfilling sex life. Lots of partners. Wonderful experiances. Yeah, that's it. I've only forgotten virtually all of them. Yeah. So all this frustration at ONLY HAVING SLEPT WITH TWO GODDAMN WOMEN IN MY WHOLE 32 YEARS OF LIFE .... oh, sorry .... is actually caused because I forgot about all those other women I've been with. Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket.

Why did I flip? I got tired of coming up with last minute desparate solutions to impossible problems created by other fucking people.
Maybe theres a reason he cannot remember.... (4.50 / 4) (#19)
by typhatix on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 02:15:12 PM EST

From reading the article there are several clues that he is not a normal person.

1) She is a special education teacher. She deals with retarded children. She was his teacher. hint hint.

2) He said when questioned "I have a very bad memory" which in the context of the questioning plus point #1 implies to me he is a retarded child.

I don't think its that impossible for a retarded child to not remember something, to fabricate something, etc. So the premise of this article, that "If even a lust-filled adolescent male cannot be relied upon to remember a bout of love making, how can the rest of use hope to keep any memory of our sexual unions?" suddenly sounds stupid.

Reading an article closely before writing a paper on it might be semi-useful next time.

No (none / 0) (#27)
by ocelot on Fri Jul 13, 2001 at 07:08:11 PM EST

She is a special education teacher. She deals with retarded children. She was his teacher. hint hint.

No, she is a special education teacher who works with learning disabled students. There is a difference. People with learning disabilities can have any level of intelligence.

He said when questioned "I have a very bad memory" which in the context of the questioning plus point #1 implies to me he is a retarded child.

I somewhat agree with the spirit of this (at least my interpretation of the spirit). While there is no evidence that he was actually retarded, it is possible that his learning disability could be memory-related. In fact, plain old low IQ without an additional memory-related disability would be unlikely to cause him to forget something like having sex.

However, the article does not give any direct evidence for a legitimate disability which might explain the memory loss, so I'm inclined to go with the theory that he's simply covering up, for whatever reason.

The best defense against logic is ignorance.

I'm also inclined to believe you may be something less than serious with this post, based on this sig :)

[ Parent ]

If forgetfulness is related to sex... (3.50 / 2) (#21)
by Tatarigami on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 08:14:35 PM EST

...I don't even want to think about the implications of continually misplacing ballpoints.

In defense of statutory rape laws. (5.00 / 4) (#22)
by Kasreyn on Thu Jul 12, 2001 at 09:41:50 PM EST

I sense a certain antipathy in this article towards statutory rape laws. So I'd like to make how I feel on this clear.

There's a reason we have statutory rape and child molestation laws. Most people are not ready to give their consent to such acts when they are children, for many reasons. Their bodies are not ready for it (especially in the case of females, who can really get hurt). Their minds are not ready for the responsibility to choose wisely. Their emotions are not ready to deal with the complex issues, and how love changes when sex enters into it. And they are certainly not ready to accept the responsibilities of becoming parents. (Children are by definition incompetent parents, if you ask me. If you know a 14 year old who makes a wonderful and loving parent, then that person is actually an adult, so don't flame me on this one)

Many here might point out, and I agree, that not everyone is the same. Perhaps some people are ready to give that consent at 14. Perhaps some are ready at 12! Perhaps some won't be ready when they're 30. But there's no easy way to determine that beforehand. The adult who has sex with a minor is usually a criminal because they have no real way of knowing if the minor is capable of giving their consent (nor do they usually try to find out, I'll wager). The minor is guilty of little more than impatience, but that's only childish, not criminal.

Perhaps the age needs to be lowered or raised, but I think a better approach is to educate children more thoroughly about the responsibility that goes along with sexual choice. It's true that occasionally two people truly love each other and both are capable of giving their consent (that is, both adults mentally and emotionally). But one of them happens to be underage, and the law steps in and jails the elder one. This is the price we pay for having laws to protect minors from being manipulated and abused by adults sexually. It's a sad thing when ANYone is jailed under these laws. My advice to anyone out there who honestly loves a minor and wants to express that love through sex is: for chrissakes, WAIT. Don't throw away a possible life together when a little patience can win you everything.


P.S. To those who label this post offtopic, how can it be anything other? That news article had zero information about the boy to go on. It said he was at a school for the learning disabled or something, but it did not say what HIS problem was. If it was something to do with memory, then he might be telling the truth. If not, he might be lying to protect her. Noble, but stupid. Either way, there's no way we can know with so little to go on. The original poster is reading WAY too much into this story, and I would have voted it down in queue had I been awake. =P

"Extenuating circumstance to be mentioned on Judgement Day:
We never asked to be born in the first place."

R.I.P. Kurt. You will be missed.
Re: staturatory (none / 0) (#23)
by Skwirl on Fri Jul 13, 2001 at 01:02:30 AM EST

I'd like to add one more factor to your defense of staturatory rape laws: power. Adults have it; minors don't. Teachers have it, and students don't. The (slightly exaggerated) analogy is that someone with a knife has power over their victim.

That being said, the other (dead) story that qpt posted to the queue last night was funnier, but I forget what it was about. Maybe I had sex with it.

"Nothing in the world is more distasteful to a man than to take the path that leads to himself." -- Herman Hesse
[ Parent ]
Huh? (none / 0) (#25)
by Mr.Surly on Fri Jul 13, 2001 at 02:22:28 PM EST

Why is this article in the "Culture" category. Shouldn't it be in the "Humor" category?

If not, how on earth did it ever get enough votes? I can't really see how the author can be at all serious about any of the assertions made.

Any way, as for the subject matter at hand: I have forgotten about sexual encounters before, meaning I couldn't remember if I had had sex or not with someone in particular. Seemed rather odd to me (at the time) that I wouldn't be able to remember something like that, but I figured that the novelty of sex wasn't what it once was, and as such, didn't rate as highly in the "must remember this" list in my mind.

Comments and a weird kind of related story (none / 0) (#26)
by Nitesurfer on Fri Jul 13, 2001 at 02:38:57 PM EST

Unless a real Stud or Slut (if you don't like these use your own word) keeps a journal, and comments as the the quality of the session (eewww!!), how can we expect anyone to remember every session they have ever had. Not to say this type of act would be considered unusual. For example, I am an unusual case that I have been with one one person ever. Sure I know that I have had relations, but could I describe every one with my spouse in detail.... no.

In a kind of related story read below:

No Sex for Two Years, President Urges

No it is not our president. RAW News from abcnews.com listed a Rueters article stating :

"President Daniel arap Moi has urged Kenyans to abstain from sex for at least two years to try to curb the spread of AIDS, newspapers reported on Thursday."

Tag this one as OUT There, but with a headline like that you just have to read it. No Sex for Two Years, President Urges!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How long do you think they will remember his URGING??? How long will they be able to control their own urges? Will they remember if the did it?

David Byrd

CEO --- Twenty First Century Technologies, Inc.
Home of the Nite-Surfer Illuminated Keyboard

Forgotten Lust | 30 comments (21 topical, 9 editorial, 0 hidden)
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