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[P]
How to Get Really Really Fat

By gbd in Op-Ed
Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 07:01:12 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)
Humour

Over the course of the past couple of days, there have been multiple stories on Kuro5hin about obesity; they have explained how it is an epidemic that is plauging our society and they have offered much advice about how to combat it. However, I cannot help but notice that there has been precious little representation of The Other Side.  It is for this reason that I offer the following information.  The best media is a balanced media, and I believe that it is in the best interest of Kuro5hin and its readership to give both sides of the story.


Right off the bat, I should explain by way of total disclosure that I am not obese; I am 6'0" and weigh 170 pounds.  Nevertheless, I have an extensive supply of overweight friends who have reviewed the material in this story and have assured me that it is completely and wholly accurate, and that it represents the best advice for those who really want to pack on the pounds. With that having been said, let's get on with it:

Diet

The key principle here is very simple: avoid fruits, vegetables, and grains.  You want saturated fats, and you want as much of them as you can get your hands on. Your key ally in this endeavour will be fast food, and you will want to ingest as much of it as you can. However, fast food is only part of the equation. You will want to observe the following diet to maximize your potential:

  • Breakfast: There's one key word here: bacon.  Lots and lots of bacon.  Your ideal breakfast should consist of no less than a pound of bacon.  And I'm not talking about this pansy-ass "lean bacon" either; ideally, you'll want a pen of hogs in your backyard so that you can slaughter them personally.  Bacon is best augmented by eggs; you will want to fry up at least four or five eggs per breakfast.  After finishing the eggs, you will find that eight or nine sausage links provide a tasty chaser.

  • Lunch: Here is where you should take full advantage of the availability of fast food.  Skinny stick-boys will order a single hamburger and a small order of fries.  I recommend at least two Big Macs and a Supersize Fries.  If you are friends with any employees of fast-food joints, arrange to have them hook you up with some of the leftover ingredients from the deep fat frier.  Raw fat is a delicacy, and if you can arrange to have this material delivered to you, I would urge you to take full advantage of said arrangement.

  • Dinner: Pizza! Pizza! For the love of God, Montressor, pizza! Regardless of where you live, you will undoubtedly find coupons in the newspaper that allow you to purchase large quantities of mass-manufactured pizza for ridiculously low prices. You will want to take advantage of these deals. The average aspiring obese man will want to consume at least one and a half large pizzas per dinner.  If you can eat more than that, great! For dinner, you will want to exercise your eating muscles to concentric failure. You will see results within two weeks.




Exercise

Physical activity is the worst enemy of the aspiring obese person.  Not only does it needlessly burn calories, there is also the very real risk of building muscle mass, which is something that you will want to avoid like the Black Plague.  The more muscle mass that you have, the more caloric intake your body will require to maintain itself.  The result is that the food that you ingest will be not be used to build layers of fat, which is clearly unacceptable.

Obviously, your goal should be to ignore physical activity to whatever degree possible. To achieve this goal, there are several tips that you should follow.  These tips are enumerated below:


  • Regardless of whether you live in a house or an apartment, make sure to park your vehicle as close to your door as possible.  Often, you may find that the parking spots that are closest to the entrance to your residence are already taken. That's okay.  Park on the lawn, if need be.  To maximize your body's fat-building potential, you want to make sure that you never park any further away than 30 feet from your residence's entrance.  Walking is an aerobic activity that can pose a threat to your body's ability to manufacture fat.

  • When you get home, make a point to plant yourself on a couch or a recliner.  When you are seated, do not move.  If you have a Significant Other or a roommate, attempt to persuade them to perform certain rudimentary tasks for you, such as retrieving a fattening, high-calorie beer from the refridgerator or fetching a remote control that has fallen outside of your reach.  Physical activity that you initiate on your own runs the risk of burning calories, which will ruin you.

  • Video games.  The entertainment industry is working overtime to manufacture video games that aid in fat development. If your Dwarf character in EverQuest can gain +1 Strength each day, then why should you be bothered to attempt to maintain such artificial statistics in real life? (Hint: Your standings in MMORPGs are not helped by exercise or other physical activities that you partake in in real life.  So don't do them.)

  • Bedpans can work wonders.  If you have to actually get up to use the restroom facilities, you will be needlessly burning calories that would otherwise be working to build your gut. Be smart. Use a bedpan. In this manner, you can minimize the number of times that you actually have to leave your recliner and/or couch.




Mindset

Be prepared to buck the system.  Recent Hollywood movies have spent a significant amount of time to convince the public that "thin is in" and "fat is bad."  Hooey.  Many of America's most beloved film stars have been obese.  Chris Farley, John Belushi, and John Candy were all over "their ideal weight", and they are all beloved by the moviegoing public despite the fact that they all prematurely croaked.

The key thing to remember is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Thin people arrogantly claim that their lifestyle is the only healthy way to live.  I find this to be exclusionary and obscene.  All of us are inhabitants of this planet, regardless of our body profile.  Lots of heavy people have expressed a desire to lose weight. That doesn't mean that we should ignore the light people who have expressed a desire to gain weight.

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Kuro5hin's treatment of obesity is
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Display: Sort:
How to Get Really Really Fat | 147 comments (136 topical, 11 editorial, 0 hidden)
reminds me of that simpsons episode... (4.12 / 8) (#5)
by CarryTheZero on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:44:37 AM EST

"You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups, such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic!"

--
You said I'd wake up dead drunk / alone in the park / I called you a liar / but how right you were
iTunes users: want to download album artwork automatically? Now you can.
And also (4.00 / 2) (#14)
by R343L on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 01:41:53 AM EST

If in doubt, just rub it on a piece of paper. If you can see through it, it's your window to weight gain!
"Like cheese spread over too much cantelope, the people I spoke with liked their shoes." Ctrl-Alt-Del
[ Parent ]
DAMMIT (none / 0) (#44)
by Yellowbeard on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:29:52 AM EST

I /KNEW/ someone would beat me to it.

"Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt." - Deniro in Ronin


[ Parent ]
insomnia :) (none / 0) (#46)
by R343L on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:53:25 AM EST

Helps.  Creates a state of compulsive reading of k5. :)

Rachael
"Like cheese spread over too much cantelope, the people I spoke with liked their shoes." Ctrl-Alt-Del
[ Parent ]

here here (2.90 / 10) (#8)
by subgenius on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:51:29 AM EST

I love large ladies. These people are almost racist.

Drive On!
Drive On!

As has been pointed out in the other threads (4.60 / 5) (#10)
by Therac-25 on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:57:07 AM EST

Saturated fats and such are not what cause people to be fat. They just give you heart disease and increase your risk of cancer.

I know it's a huge stretch to imagine that ingesting fat does not nessecarily make you fat, but I'm sure it's one you can do.

Certainly, they contain calories, and as such don't stop you from getting fat, but even a beanpole with a 2000 calorie a day diet is in bad shape if half of that is saturated fats.

If you want to get fat, you need to eat lots of cheap, easy-to-break down carbohydrates. You can eat sugar and other sweets, but that gets boring after a while (as well as having dental repurcussions).

Lots of potatoes, lots of pasta, lots of cheap white bread-type foods (you want to focus on the processed grains, as the complex carbohydrates in whole grains are harder to break down). Pastries and other sugary sweet treats also make for great weight gain.

I mean, sure go stuff back a burger or two. But just make sure to follow it up with a large basket of fries. The carbohydrates are what make you fat, the grease is just an added bonus for flavour!
--
"If there's one thing you can say about mankind / There's nothing kind about man."

Don't forget the jumbo shake and sundaes (mt) (none / 0) (#81)
by Rizzen on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:49:29 PM EST


The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly those between the ages of 4 and 18. At age four, we know all the questions; at eighteen, all the answers.
[ Parent ]
Pizza (4.28 / 7) (#11)
by DarkZero on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 01:18:03 AM EST

This article's dinner preferences are woefully uninformed, as they miss a very important point in the Quest To Increase Your Ass Cushioning. "Pizza" alone will not make you fat. Many people, especially those with decent amounts of money (middle class and slightly above), mistakenly think that places like "Mario and Luigi's Upscale, Healthy Italian Restaurant" will help them get fat. This is not true. When you say "pizza", you must stress that this means PIZZA HUT pizza, MICROWAVED pizza, or, better yet, PAPA JOHN'S REALLY FUCKING DISGUSTING pizza, complete with a double order of that thick, fattening sauce that they provide you.

I am living proof that Mario and Luigi's Upscale, Healthy Italian Restaurant will not get you fat. I eat pizza at least twice a week, eating roughly five large slices for dinner and finishing the rest off for breakfast the next day. After months... well, actually years... of this diet, in addition to plenty of other servings of Italian food throughout the week, I have actually steadily lost weight, despite becoming more lazy and sedentary during that time period.

You're not following the plan (none / 0) (#91)
by humpasaur on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 05:02:45 PM EST

You are only eating 5 slices for dinner. Add 10.
----

*sigh* Must I explain FURTHER?
[ Parent ]

I knew the K5-plan was on its way! (5.00 / 4) (#12)
by Humuhumunukunukuapuaa on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 01:19:24 AM EST

As I predicted here. I'm waiting for the gossip about Rusty now - there's nothing in the submissions queue.
--
(&()*&^#@!!&_($&)!&$(*#$(!$&_(!$*&&!$@
gaining weight is not as easy as you'd think (5.00 / 7) (#13)
by martingale on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 01:31:01 AM EST

Not for the squeamish, but see for yourself. Crazy Americans, what'll they think of next?

Is it just me? (2.00 / 1) (#45)
by Yellowbeard on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:41:00 AM EST

Or is Nicole sorta cute? I mean, she at least has some nice breasts, it appears...

"Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt." - Deniro in Ronin


[ Parent ]
That's a wonderbra (n/t) (none / 0) (#64)
by zocky on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:13:26 PM EST


---
I mean, if coal can be converted to energy, then couldn't diamonds?
[ Parent ]

definatly not just you :D (n/t) (none / 0) (#74)
by dublet on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:52:17 PM EST



Badger. Badger. ←
[ Parent ]
Did you ever consider (3.33 / 9) (#16)
by medham on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 01:54:34 AM EST

That the U.S. agribusiness industry has been in the KGB's pocket since day one?

We're talking the most effective biowar program in history. Kennedy's Presidential Physical Fitness program was a finger in the dyke, though some young, fit ladies have enjoyed that sort of thing.

The real 'medham' has userid 6831.

Hmm. (none / 0) (#42)
by StrontiumDog on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:16:45 AM EST

Kennedy's Presidential Physical Fitness program was a finger in the dyke, though some young, fit ladies have enjoyed that sort of thing.

That's the cigar, my lad.

[ Parent ]

problem (5.00 / 3) (#17)
by athagon on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:01:47 AM EST

You left out the key to getting fat: see, you have to buy a few pounds of butter, and eat about a stick a day. Wash it down with a gallon of whole milk and a box of Oreos, and you're good to go.

Also, it's better to lay on the floor and watch TV than sit--if you lay on the floor, your body doesn't have to waste calories pumping blood "uphill"! Plus, when you finally croak, it'll be easier to lift you out by crane. And finally, there's the additional benefit of not breaking any couches or chairs!

And finally, it may help not to wear clothes: wearing clothing can make you sweat, which burns calories. It can be hard to find XXXXXXXXXXXX sizes of clothing (which you'll eventually need), and it can be uncomfortable. And we're all about comfort here, right?

laughs

Or not? Great story, man. +1FP.

Calories (1.00 / 2) (#101)
by Bios_Hakr on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 09:03:21 PM EST

Isn't a calorie the unit of energy needed to get a cubic cm one degree hotter? Using that logic, I'd think that wearing lots of clothes and sitting in a warm room would be the best thing for gaining.

Beer Diet Plan follows:

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.

For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg.F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized.

Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories. Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat,the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal.

This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12, 240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.

Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.

Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.

We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.

Happy eating!

End Beer Diet


Not sure where I originally got that, but it think it proves my point...

[ Parent ]
ah, but (3.00 / 1) (#110)
by sleepyhel on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 04:43:49 AM EST

that is simply a play on the confusing terminology associated with the calorie.

1 food calorie = 1,000 regular calories. So the icecream actually has 1,200,000 calories. Which is a lot more than the 6,216 cal. taken from body fat.

Oh, what the hell. Pizza, beer and icecream for everybody. :)

--
"have you ever been in the middle of really good sex, and realized a duck was staring at you?" -- vleth
[ Parent ]

celine dion.. (none / 0) (#18)
by pamri on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:18:08 AM EST

may like this article.

Slight flaw... (4.50 / 2) (#20)
by StephenThompson on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:00:57 AM EST

You say to avoid grain if you want to get fat. Actually, you must eat a good amount of carbohydrates (grain is a good source) in order to get really fat. If you only eat fat and meat, but no carbohydrates, you will actually LOSE weight! This is called the Atkins diet. You do get other..er..issues when on the Atkins diet, but you will get slimmer.

So the Pizza idea is right on. Lots of fat, lots a carbohydrates.

Mmmmm, Atkins diet.... (4.50 / 2) (#23)
by gordonjcp on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 04:02:08 AM EST

Gorge yourself on grilled meats and stuff, and exercise a lot, basically.

The only problem is it makes you fart like a demon, handling all that protein and fat. You could run a hoover tube from under the driver's seat to the carburettor on your car for a quick and easy natural gas conversion.

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll bore you rigid with fishing stories for the rest of your life.


[ Parent ]
Pasta is good too (4.00 / 1) (#38)
by pexatus on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 09:32:18 AM EST

Pasta has the amazing property of a time-delay response in making your stomach feel full.  I could ingest probably 3 or 4 plates (or more, in my heyday) and feel only as full as 2 plates would make me feel if I waited for a while afterwards.  Just make sure there's a couch nearby, because it hits you like a freight train after about 15 minutes.

[ Parent ]
Ketosis aside, (none / 0) (#60)
by Subtillus on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 01:52:30 PM EST

The atkins diet only works because you eat fewer calories per day, which is not so bad...

if you want to realy beef up on fat, then saturates are the way to go, grains are bad news.

[ Parent ]

You people are all going to die of heart disease.. (none / 0) (#68)
by Kintanon on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:22:34 PM EST

at 35.

The atkins diet will make you lose weight if you eat very few calories on it, in the range of 1200-1500, OR if you do a lot of weightlifting on the diet. It's SO protein heavy that it makes building muscle incredibly easy. So if you want to lose weight on the Atkins diet, you either half starve yourself, or you workout a lot. Anything else will just lead to you gaining a bunch of weight because your body stores up all of the extra calories as fat.

Kintanon

[ Parent ]

Ketosis and muscle (none / 0) (#98)
by TheSleeper on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 07:31:42 PM EST

It's SO protein heavy that it makes building muscle incredibly easy.

False. While ketosis does tend to be muscle-sparing, it's a less than ideal diet for actually building muscle. For that you really need some carbohydrate. Without carbohydrate, your muscles will lose a lot of water, a less than ideal state for growth.

[ Parent ]

I'm aware. (none / 0) (#116)
by Kintanon on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 11:56:16 AM EST

I'm aware of the Carb requirements for muscle building. But, that doesn't invalidate my post at all. It is easier to build muscle on a protein heavy diet than on a protein-light diet. So the only way the Atkins diet can possibly work is if you eat absolutely NO carbs at all, which is in NO way healthy.

Kintanon

[ Parent ]

Of course it does. (none / 0) (#121)
by TheSleeper on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 04:23:38 PM EST

I'm aware of the Carb requirements for muscle building. But, that doesn't invalidate my post at all.

Of course it does. You originally wrote that the Atkins diet made building muscle incredibly easy. Since the Atkins diet is extremely low in carbohydrate, and carbohydrate is needed to build muscle, that's not true.

[ Parent ]

It IS true. (none / 0) (#137)
by Kintanon on Mon Jun 10, 2002 at 11:39:51 AM EST

The fact that the Atkins diet is LOW on carbs doesn't mean it has none. And the carb requirements for muscle building aren't as high as you seem to be implying. So yes, it is very very easy to build muscle on an Atkins diet. But it's hard to manage sustained activity. So Atkins diet lifters do 1-3 lifts and maximum weight and that's it.

Kintanon

[ Parent ]

Indeed (none / 0) (#76)
by dublet on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:13:57 PM EST

Look at Sumo wrestlers, they eat loads of rice, probably by the kilogram.

Badger. Badger. ←
[ Parent ]
Chef's Advice Stands! (4.62 / 8) (#21)
by Spork on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:15:22 AM EST

There is only one way of making sure you get fat: get married!

Your window to weight gain (4.72 / 11) (#22)
by Lode Runner on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:45:35 AM EST

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!
Homer+Bart: Hi Doctor Nick!
Dr. Nick: [to Homer] Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recomment a slow, steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.
Homer: [pensive] Of course.
Dr. Nick: [points to a chart] You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group, and the chocotastic!
Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor?
Dr. Nick: Well, be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon!
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!



Headgear! (none / 0) (#35)
by faecal on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 09:06:36 AM EST

That same simpsons episode demonstrates clearly the strongest reason for gaining a large amount of weight - you get to wear a fat guy hat!

I mean, what could possibly be cooler?

[ Parent ]

Right near the end... (none / 0) (#48)
by Armaphine on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 11:06:08 AM EST

Lisa: I find it ironic that it was actually Dad's obesity that saved him, while a lighter man would've fell to his death.
Bart: I just find it funny that for once Dad's butt prevented the release of noxious gases.

Question authority. Don't ask why, just do it.
[ Parent ]

Forget the headgear ... (none / 0) (#83)
by Rizzen on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:58:17 PM EST

... you get to wear those cool mu-mus and other fat-guy "dresses".
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly those between the ages of 4 and 18. At age four, we know all the questions; at eighteen, all the answers.
[ Parent ]
Sorry. (4.60 / 5) (#24)
by i on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 04:11:48 AM EST

Try a Google search: how to gain weight. There's a wealth of reliable, medically verified information out there, like this booklet (pdf).

Don't trust amateur "lifestyle advisors". If you want to gain weight, ask your doctor.

and we have a contradicton according to our assumptions and the factor theorem

Not so sure about the pizza... (none / 0) (#25)
by mikael_j on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 06:00:16 AM EST

I lost something like 20 kg in one summer, whilst living on mainly pizza and french fries. I'm not sure how that happened, eating a pizza per day and snacking on french fries should at least not make me lose weight...

/Mikael
We give a bad name to the internet in general. - Rusty
well ... (none / 0) (#29)
by loaf on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 06:58:52 AM EST

where you end up really rather depends on where you started out in the first place ....

[ Parent ]
True... (none / 0) (#37)
by mikael_j on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 09:30:18 AM EST

But I'm still confused, previously when I've lived on a similar diet I have always gained weight, this time I lost lots of weight, kind of scary...

/Mikael
We give a bad name to the internet in general. - Rusty
[ Parent ]
Nice story, but does not work (none / 0) (#26)
by moeffju on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 06:21:40 AM EST

I have tried it. In fact, I am trying this since ... hmm ... quite a lot of years now. Except the raw fat part.

Maybe I don't eat enough pasta.

Then you know why you're failing (none / 0) (#33)
by juahonen on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 08:04:19 AM EST

Raw fat is essential. You are what you eat.



[ Parent ]
Dessert? (none / 0) (#102)
by Evil Petting Zoo on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:25:59 PM EST

Maybe you're not eatting enough sweets after meals. Done with breakfast? Eat some donuts if you haven't already! Lunch? How about a coke and some ho-hos! For after dinner make a hot fudge sunday. The possibilites are endless with the abundant sources of high sugar content food loaded empty calories available in America today.

[ Parent ]
You're wrong (5.00 / 10) (#30)
by PresJPolk on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 07:07:29 AM EST

Bacon is good any time, any where, any meal.  For breakfast bacon is good dipped in syrup.  For lunch bacon is good on a burger.  For dinner bacon is good on pizza.

Limiting bacon to one meal a day is just wrong.

dipping sauce for bacon (none / 0) (#80)
by LilDebbie on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:44:59 PM EST

The best thing to dip bacon in is bacon grease! Fry up or microwave up some bacon (if you microwave, get a bacon tray to collect the grease). Once cooked, serve immediately with all the bacon grease still hot from the pan. This is the greatest thing you will ever eat.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
Skip the syrup (none / 0) (#84)
by Rizzen on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 04:01:57 PM EST

Dipping bacon into the yolk from eggs done over-easy or sunnyside-up is the best way.  Same with hashbrowns.  Toast works in a pinch, but bacon or hashbrowns is better.
.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly those between the ages of 4 and 18. At age four, we know all the questions; at eighteen, all the answers.
[ Parent ]
The Fat Project (5.00 / 2) (#31)
by jbrw on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 07:40:41 AM EST

The Spark put a guy and a girl in a house for 30 days to see if they could each gain 30 pounds. It's The Fat Project.

I wont spoil the ending for you guys...
---
"We beat the .usians at their own game of zero tolerance"

Wow (none / 0) (#39)
by Bob Dog on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 09:35:20 AM EST

Maybe it's just me, but that girl looked better afterwards.

[ Parent ]
Not just you (none / 0) (#53)
by AmberEyes on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:13:47 PM EST

Eventually, most people will come around to seeing that starved, anorexic women, are really god-awful creepy/skeletal/unhealthy looking.

But it will take time.

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
Re: Not just you (none / 0) (#65)
by damien on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:18:07 PM EST

They already have. Very few men think that the concentration-camp-survivor look popular among fashion models is attractive at all.

-Damien

[ Parent ]

Surprised? (4.00 / 1) (#72)
by molo on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:25:54 PM EST

I'm not surprised, this is what happens when we let gay men take over the fashion industry.

--
Whenever you walk by a computer and see someone using pico, be kind. Pause for a second and remind yourself that: "There, but for the grace of God, go I." -- Harley Hahn
[ Parent ]
That was one thing that bothered me (5.00 / 2) (#67)
by Dephex Twin on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:22:17 PM EST

During the whole process, as she gained weight, the writer kept making one crack after another about how she was becoming a whale or turning into pure lard, things like that.  There were never jokes about how she was a skeleton or stick figure at the beginning.  And in my opinion she actually was too skinny.

I thought she looked better as she filled out a bit, but the writer felt some need to constantly assert how the extra weight made her worse and worse.  Of course, this was supposed to be funny, so I can understand there was exaggeration.

In any case, I was disappointed by the "happy" ending 6 months later where she ended up skinnier than when she started out.  I thought maybe she'd have settled in between the original and final weights.  Oh well.

mark


Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. -- Homer Simpson
[ Parent ]

The flip side (none / 0) (#88)
by Cro Magnon on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 04:19:57 PM EST

I didn't see that show, but that is another problem. The press is thin-obsessed! Not everybody can, or SHOULD be that thin. Excessive skinniness is as unhealthy as obesity.
Information wants to be beer.
[ Parent ]
Dont' Forget Buffets (5.00 / 3) (#32)
by pexatus on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 07:45:10 AM EST

A buffet is your one-stop shop for all your obesity needs.  The real key to gaining weight, even if you get sick of saturated fat and actually want something healthy, is to eat until your stomach hurts.  Not only does this get more calories in to you, but it ensures that you won't want to move for a few hours afterwards, which will keep you from expending any energy.  Also, if you eat way too much even a few times, your stomach will expand, and it takes more to make you feel full later.

Even better, go to a buffet with some friends and have an eating contest.  If you do this just about anywhere in the Midwest, you'll have plenty of gigantic fatasses around to inspire you.  Honestly, this is probably one reason I started eating healthier.  I would go to a Chinese buffet or a Harrah's (casino hotel chain with a huge buffet), and I'd see these 450 lb (205 kg) whales waddling around, and I'd think, "Geez, this is fine for me, I'm only a little overweight, but that guy and his whole family shoudn't be here."  Then I'd realize that that's probably close to what I'd end up like in 10 years with a steady diet of buffets.

The great thing about buffets (5.00 / 1) (#90)
by humpasaur on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 04:53:54 PM EST

That gravy's not a condiment. It's a beverage.
----

*sigh* Must I explain FURTHER?
[ Parent ]

My favourite diet. (none / 0) (#34)
by i on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 08:14:12 AM EST

Here.

and we have a contradicton according to our assumptions and the factor theorem

Interesting... (5.00 / 3) (#36)
by Sc00tz on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 09:17:47 AM EST

When my wife and I went to Iceland for our honeymoon we went to several places for breakfast. They had this one called "The American Breakfast". There was soooo much food, and it was like you said, 4 eggs, 6 strips of bacon, and a bunch of other stuff. It was CRAZY. I don't know ANYBODY in the US that eats a breakfast like that. Hell, now adays the "American Breakfast" is more like a cup of coffee and a poptart if you have time.


-- http://scootz.net/~travis

I think you might be alone.. (5.00 / 1) (#113)
by dublet on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 07:29:22 AM EST

Since I don't think you can get obese on coffee and a poptart.
The time I was in Canada (practically America anyway) I really was amazed at how crappy the average north-american eats, I visited a family where they merely used their stove to warm up hot dogs, and they were a pretty average family. Oh and how often they went to mcdonalds/fast eddies/whatever is just shocking, at least every day, I always considered myself an unhealthy eater, but at least I get some vegetables in my food. It's a wonder they weren't total plump bags (they weren't that skinny though).
Yes, I'm not obsese, which is a healthy thing, but I'm not skinny either.. How on earth did I wonder off to here?!

Badger. Badger. ←
[ Parent ]
Breakfast size vs weight gain (none / 0) (#135)
by brion on Mon Jun 10, 2002 at 04:38:19 AM EST

I don't think you can get obese on coffee and a poptart.

Of course not; you make up for it by snacking on ho-hos the rest of the day. (Mmmmmm, ho-hos!)

Chu vi parolas Vikipedion?
[ Parent ]

Worked for me... (5.00 / 1) (#40)
by nutate on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:11:21 AM EST

In about three months early last year, I went from 6'3" 180lb to 6'3" 240lb. I would say the key is constant insatiable snacking while awake and sleeping over 12 hours a day. Sleep is the weight gainer's best friend. Also, I second the comment that bacon is really good anytime of the day. Chocolate, fried food, etc. are also key. If you are eating something "healthy" make sure you make up for eat by eating it in massive quantity.

But my biggest secret was prescription drugs that have the great side effect of 'possible weight gain.' I was on two of those at the same time, so I'm sure that must've helped.

Sadly, the weight is slowly leaving me, but luckily with the loss of muscle mass I still look slovenly.

peace and good nutrition,

rich

Pharmaceuticals (none / 0) (#71)
by jugglhed on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:25:08 PM EST

It's all part of a sinister plot. The pharma companies introduce drugs that alleviate a widespread problem (depression), but have side effects of weight gain and sexual problems. This opens up two more lucrative opportunities, one of which has been addressed by Viagra and similar drugs, and the other one is something they're working on, although they have hit some speed bumps with the drug that caused brain damage (oops) and another drug that screwed up a friend of mine's liver and turned him orange (temporarily, though - he is no longer carrot-colored). They'll get it eventually, though. Just sit on that couch and wait patiently...

[ Parent ]
How I gained 60 pounds in 6 months (5.00 / 2) (#41)
by dr zeus on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:11:23 AM EST

I went from being a 140lb weakling to a 200+ lb weakling in 6 months, and it took only the slightest effort.  I was in college fulltime and worked 40 hours a week overnight (11pm to 7am) as a deskclerk at a local motel.  This is a great combo for massive weight gaining.  I lived on the campus of a small college, so I didn't have to walk very far, and I often hitched a ride to class with fellow fatties.  As everyone knows, college fare is beer and pizza, two of an aspiring John Candy-lookalike's best friends.  I only slept 4 hours a day at the most, so my body was screwed up to begin with.  And since I was a deskclerk, my only exercise came from lifting the phone when I had a call (sidenote:  my right arm is still slightly larger than my left b/c of this workout).  The best part is the motel food.  I had all the bon-bons, ho-hos, and honeybuns I could stuff in my ever-more massive belly, and washed it all down with liters of coffee.  The downside is I had to buy new pants b/c my old ones didn't fit anymore.

I did manage to lose the weight later with another night job:  overnight grocery stocker at WalMart.  In two months I was down to 155lbs, but I could benchpress more than twice my weight and pull a 2.5 ton flat of pork and beans with a handtruck by myself.  

Also, in regards to relationships, (4.50 / 2) (#52)
by AmberEyes on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:12:13 PM EST

If you were such a porker, there's another reason your right arm was so much larger and more worked out.

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
LOL (none / 0) (#61)
by dr zeus on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 01:54:23 PM EST

That's pretty funny :)  Except that I'm left handed, not right.  I had to answer the phone with the right b/c of the way the desk was setup. :)

And I may over exaggerated just a little bit. =)

[ Parent ]

Left handed, eh? (none / 0) (#62)
by AmberEyes on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 01:57:14 PM EST

Well, we can't all be perfect. :D

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
Left handed indeed... (none / 0) (#129)
by UptownGuy on Sat Jun 08, 2002 at 08:49:05 PM EST

Well, we can't all be perfect.

True. That distinction is typically reserved for us southpaws...

[ Parent ]
Raw Fat IS a Delicacy (5.00 / 5) (#43)
by jabber on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:18:13 AM EST

Lard sandwiches are the best!! I'm absolutely serious. The article may be humorous, but it's right in this aspect..

Here's how to make yummy lard..

  • Get a slab of bacon, not the pre-sliced stuff, but a slab..
  • Bring a skillet to high heat and singe the slab all around to cauterize it, sealing in the fat and moisture.
  • Place the bacon slab in a pot just large enough to contain the slab, and add enough water to submerge a little over half the slab. I use the same sauce-pan in which I make cowboy-coffee, and make maybe a pint/pound of lard at one time.
  • Cook on low heat, covered, turning the slab frequently, until about most of the water has evaporated. This helps to soften the fat.
  • Allow the water and slab to cool for several hours. Note that the cooking can, and often is, done piece-meal. The slab is heated, turned, allowed to cool, heated again, etc
  • Once the cooking is done there will be a white layer of waxy, congealed fat on the surface of the water. Place this in a skillet and on low-medium heat, allow it to melt.
  • Cut the slab into thin slices, then strips, then squares, placing all removed fat in the skillet to melt it. I prefer cutting the meat into small pieces, since this makes the lard more spreadable. You want to keep the fat, keep the meat, but discard the fibrous connective tissues.  
  • Dice up some onion to roughly the same dimensions as the meat (not fat) from the bacon slab, and together with the meat, simmer the onion in the fat-filled skillet. Keep the heat low enough to not splatter, but high enough to brown the meat and onion.
  • Before the onion becomes crispy, pour the entire concoction into an earthenware bowl, and allow it to cool. Be careful with the grease while it's hot. Grease burns are very, very dangerous. Earthenware is recommended since it handles hot grease better than glass containers. I've had Pyrex bowls shatter, sending glass shards everywhere, due to the temperature difference of the countertop and the hot grease. Slow, air-cooling is best.
  • Once cool (6 hours at least) the lard is ready. It should appear as a white, waxy solid, with a concave (collapsed) surface. Mixing it with a wooden spoon will expose the meat and onion which sank to the bottom. Add pepper to taste, or make it available on the table. Always provide salt.
Serve as you would a cheese spread. Pungent, flavorful breads (pumpernickle and the like) work best with a generous coating of lard. A thin coating of lard is nice on toast of almost any kind, or even on crackers. Salt to taste - you will likely want at least some salt. A pickle spear or baby dills also play well off of the heavy, bacony lard flavor.

Once you're comfortable making lard like this, you can try adding various wild mushrooms or even some along-side the onions. Some people do not like the onions at all, but I find that they realy aid the texture and add to the moistness of it. Though I've never tried it, I suspect that Mongolian fire-oil added to the finished product prior to cooling would make for an interesting variation.

Those of you who know me, know that I'm 6'0"@160lbs. Eating fat doesn't make you fat if you have a fast metabolism, and even if you don't, fat is still a necessary part of your diet. Fat is the main ingredient of your cell walls after all. It's what the myelin of your nerve cells, along which signals propagate, is made of. And most importantly, it's really very yummy.

[TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"

'Raw' == not cooked (5.00 / 1) (#57)
by krkrbt on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:56:17 PM EST

mmm... raw animal fats. seriously. I happen to love 3 to 6 eggs cracked straight into a glass. And raw fish, yummy! and have you ever tried raw chicken? the best parts are those fine little globs of raw white fat. Raw goat milk is excellent stuff too. Cooking your fats is a receipe for heart dis-ease (sorry, don't have any sources on this immediately at hand). oh, and don't get me started on the shear beauty of raw macadamia nuts and walnuts!

[ Parent ]
Hmm (none / 0) (#59)
by jabber on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 01:18:47 PM EST

I agree on the nuts, on the fish (especially in Sushi/Sashimi form, though they tend to trim the fat off it), milk (though I prefer bovine to goat), beef (singed rare, or steak tartare with the egg and chives) and the eggs.

Specifically, I see the raw beef and fish as a delicacy, the milk and nuts as dessert, and the eggs as a supplement.

Chicken fat just doesn't taste very good to me, and I tend to dislike chicken (and all things fowl except duck & goose) in all its forms. But I suppose that so long as you're careful about salmonella (as with the eggs) then hey, bon apetit.

[TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"
[ Parent ]

Schmaltz and Jewish popcorn (5.00 / 2) (#70)
by epepke on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:24:17 PM EST

To make chicken fat good, you have to cut up chicken skin and render it until the skin tissue consists of little brown lumps. This is sometimes called Jewish popcorn. The rendered fat, called schmaltz, is also quite good.

Of course, nothing beats bacon fat for making matzoh balls. Just don't tell anybody.


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
HAHAHA! n/t (none / 0) (#73)
by jabber on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:32:26 PM EST


[TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"
[ Parent ]

salmonella (5.00 / 1) (#85)
by krkrbt on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 04:06:46 PM EST

But I suppose that so long as you're careful about salmonella (as with the eggs) then hey, bon apetit.

i believe salmonella in chicken & their eggs is largely a product of industrial farming, where the chickens are kept in cages 24/7. All my eggs are free-range (ie, the hens get to roam around outside), so i'm not concerned. Plus I got the whole stomac-acid thing going too...

hmm, just found this pbs story on industrial meat. all I can say is that I'm glad I don't eat the stuff..

[ Parent ]
Manteca? (none / 0) (#107)
by LadyJessica on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 01:23:37 AM EST

Or you could just buy pre-packaged lard from the grocery store.  :-)

[ Parent ]
Manteca is also... (none / 0) (#143)
by dipipanone on Wed Jun 12, 2002 at 05:40:35 AM EST

Latino slang for heroin, which I understand also works rather well for weight loss.

Especially when combined with a crack habit.

[ Parent ]

We've neglected something very important! (3.00 / 1) (#47)
by jukeboxcharlie on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:58:03 AM EST

No one mentioned the role that genes have to play. I know, I know, you can't do anything about your genes, but if you have fat parents, you are more likely yourself to be fat. It just means that the children of the leanly challenged will have to try harder- if you put your mind to it, you can do ANYTHING!
This is my sig. Here I have a pithy quote, or wry comment.
Yes (none / 0) (#51)
by AmberEyes on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:05:48 PM EST

The obeseity gene. Closely related to that terrible gene that makes fat appear from thin air and go right into your body, somehow violating conservation of mass and energy.

Some people call this gene the "People-using-genetics-as-a-crutch,-while-they-shovel-backhoes-full-of-food-into -their-fat,-gaping-maws-Gene."

Amazing deiting news: You don't get fat if you eat less than you burn! Regardless of genes!

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
Bite me (none / 0) (#75)
by CodeWright on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:00:31 PM EST

I eat only nutritional foods, and only about 700-900 calories a day, and I don't lose weight -- genetic predisposition counts for a lot. My normal body temperature is 96.5'F (compared to the "average" of 98.6'F) and my metabolism is VERY VERY low. There is a name for the medical condition, but I can't remember what it is...

Although, as a survival trait, it would have been very handy if I were a starving person in Sudan or Pliocene Europe (where I would be relatively more energetic than my compatriots with an equal portion of food), but as a person with a sedentary job (programmer) in the modern era, it is virtually impossible for me to lose weight without subsisting on a diet composed solely of vitamins, sawdust, and water.

Sure, the hyperactive 7000-8000 calorie burning speedfreaks so common today are able to keep weight off, but not everyone is born with those particular traits, nor is everyone engaged in solely physical labor 8+ hours a day...

--
"Humanity's combination of reckless stupidity and disrespect for the mistakes of others is, I think, what makes us great." --Parent ]
No no no (none / 0) (#77)
by AmberEyes on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:28:35 PM EST

Eat less. Ignore calories and exercise. That stuff gets in the way. Eat less.

And I say this in truthfulness. I've been around people who want to lose weight, and they'll count their calories soooo carefully, realize that Food Y only has 10 calories a serving, and they'll eat around 50 servings worth. Kind of like the dieters who eat an entire box of diet chocolates.

"But they're low fat/low calorie/low whatever", they say. No. Eat less, period.

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
Dont just eat less (none / 0) (#103)
by camerontonks on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 10:27:48 PM EST

Eat Less more often.

to increase your metabolism you should be eating more small meals during the day instead of 3 large ones.

oh and it does help if you can manage to do a bit of exercise as well.

[ Parent ]

You presume too much (none / 0) (#114)
by CodeWright on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 09:22:23 AM EST

Those 700-900 calories are embodied in a small amount of food, spread out into snacks throughout the day. Altogether, maybe half a pound to a pound of food mass, in about 7 snack/meals throughout the day, plus daily exercise (a morning and an evening mile walk).

So, bite me. And bite everyone else that your arrogant unjustified opinion impinges.

--
"Humanity's combination of reckless stupidity and disrespect for the mistakes of others is, I think, what makes us great." --Parent ]
Yeah bite me too (none / 0) (#79)
by DJTiesto on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:40:58 PM EST

Some people have slow metabolisms.  So maybe you don't....whooptie freakin' doo, aren't you something?

I have 2 friends.  One eats healthful foods all the time, NO junk food.  Exercises religiously every day.  Guess what?  She's still chubby because her mom is that way.

Friend 2 sits on her ass all day and eats a diet with so much sugar and fried pig ass that it makes me sick just thinking about it.  She's stick thin.  Guess what her mother looks like?  Yep, the same way.

Oh yeah, both of these friends of mine have siblings that are their exact opposite.  And, probably not coincidentally, both of these friends have fathers who are the exact opposite of their mothers.  It's so easy to see who got who's genes in these families.

So yeah, a lot of people are fat asses because they're lazy pigs, but it's not like that in every case.

Typical k5 self-righteousness...

[ Parent ]

Um (none / 0) (#82)
by AmberEyes on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:51:44 PM EST

If one person eats 10 pounds of oranges, and another eats 10 pounds of lard, you realize that both...gain...10...pounds. Yes?

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
stop splitting hairs (none / 0) (#86)
by DJTiesto on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 04:09:36 PM EST

Ok technically, you may be correct. They both will weigh 10 pounds more immediately after consumption. But oranges have a LOT more water in them so once it's all been digested there's no way you are going to gain the same amount from equal weights of oranges and pure lard, as you seem to be claiming. At least not in the sense of permanent body mass.

Look I know both of these people very well. I see them each almost every day, and I can say that the person with the poor diet ALSO eats more. Much more. And I will say that the person with the helthful diet is not overeating by any sense of the imagination. Genetics can and sometimes do play a part and I don't see how anyone can deny that.

[ Parent ]
Of course I'm correct (none / 0) (#87)
by AmberEyes on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 04:16:50 PM EST

Genetics play as much of a part in this as the person's desire to open the refridgerator. Because if the refridgerator is closed, they don't eat. See?

It all boils down to how much you eat, regardless of calorie intake. Now, obviously, and ideally, you'd want to eat a lot of healthy food, but for people with low metabolism, you obviously can't do that, because metabolism is screwed up. If Mrs. Bouncing-Off-The-Walls-Metabolism eats 10 pounds of lard, and burns off 8 pounds because she's a bundle of energy, she's only got two pounds left. And when she eats another 10, she'll have 12. If Mrs. I-Lay-On-My-Couch-Metabolism eat 10 pounds of oranges, and only 1 pound goes away, then she's got 9 left, and if she eats another 10, she'll have 19. Simple math. It doesn't matter how much we eat. It matters how much we eat compared to how much we burn.

Now, the obvious thing here is to simply eat less. *shrug* You can blame it on genetics, you can blame it on metabolism, you can blame it on whatever, but the bottom line is if you are cramming more mass into your system than you are getting rid of, then you're going to gain weight, regardless of whatever real or imagined ailments you have. And that's what I'm getting at.

Eating healthy, but gaining weight? Eat less. Eating less, but gaining weight? Eat even less. Eventually, and I promise you this, you'll begin to lose weight. Is it the best way to lose weight? No. There are many other options available. But, it's a sure-fire way to lose weight.

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
You missed my point (none / 0) (#89)
by DJTiesto on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 04:37:35 PM EST

What I meant was that since oranges (and most fruits and vegetables) are so dense with water, a lot of the weight in those 10 pounds of oranges is just that: water. Water is heavy, but there is no caloric energy in water, so it has no chance to create weight gain. Look at it this way: would you still try to claim that eating 10 pounds of lard and drinking 10 pounds of water is going to cause the same weight gain? Of course not.

I used to work in a nursing home in college. Weight loss is a problem among the elderly, and for that reason, salad was offered infrequently on the menu. According to the dietician, eating lettuce is almost the same as eating water as far as nutritional value goes.

That being said, my point is just that it's very insensitive to just say "eat less" to someone who is exercising and eating the right foods in the right portions, but has just been unfortunate in the gene pool. Yes, you will lose weight if you cut intake to below your burn rate, but for some people that could mean unhealthy and dangerous fatigue, not to mention the suffering they will endure.

[ Parent ]
10 pounds of water is 10 pounds of water (none / 0) (#94)
by AmberEyes on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 06:46:57 PM EST

Yes. If someone eats 10 pounds of oranges, and 10 pounds of lard, they will both gain 10 pounds, intitially. This is easily verified with a scale. This is why, later, I say that depending on how fast you metabolize the stuff, you can either eat more or less. And thus, someone who metabolizes 10 pounds of whatever into 2 pounds can eat more of that than someone who can metabolize 10 pounds of whatever into 8 pounds of whatever.

Why is this so difficult to get?

Insensitive? So we should coddle them? "I'm very sorry that you are having fits because you can't shove food into your mouth. Have some cake." Of course not. These people need help. They need a wake-up call to realize that, HEY, THIS ISN'T HEALTHY. If they lack the discipline to simply cut back a bit, exercise, and watch their calories, then maybe something like this is necessary. Tough love and all that.

This method might not be the best, as I have said before, but it gets results. Whether someone wants those results badly enough is the question, and also gives merit to whether they really have the right to bitch and moan about their weight.

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
I don't know where this is heading... (none / 0) (#115)
by DJTiesto on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 09:46:53 AM EST

I said: "my point is just that it's very insensitive to just say "eat less" to someone who is exercising and eating the right foods in the right portions, but has just been unfortunate in the gene pool."

Then you come back with a line about coddling people who want to eat cake all day. Obviously we are talking about 2 totally different scenarios, but in case you miss it again, I'll make it clear:

The person I am talking about is eating healthful foods, in the right portions, and consistantly exercising.

The person you are talking about is not.


When I talk of sensitivity, I don't mean we should say to obviously lazy people "It's not your fault, so go ahead and eat whatever junk food you like". I'm saying that in SOME cases you can not be thin and get enough nutrition to be healthy, simply because your metabolism is going to store fat, and because of that you should keep your eliteist mouth shut. Coddling people is one thing; Minding your own business and showing a little class and tact is another.

You said: "They need a wake-up call to realize that, HEY, THIS ISN'T HEALTHY. If they lack the discipline to simply cut back a bit, exercise, and watch their calories, then maybe something like this is necessary." Well if you would have read what I said, you'd realize that this is exactly what this person is doing. So what's your advice now? Eat less and less, as you said before? Eat less until you pass out from low blood sugar one day (which I have personally witnessed in this case) and need hospitalization? Yeah that's really healthy.

As far as the 10 pounds of this versus the 10 pounds of that....well I'm still wondering what your point was with that.

[ Parent ]
Very simple (none / 0) (#118)
by AmberEyes on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 02:16:25 PM EST

First, if you haven't noticed, people who are starving don't gain weight. Ideally, you want to be above starving, obviously. You're not going to croak from eating less than you burn for a while, until you get your weight under control (then obviously, you only want to eat as much as you burn). Trust me on this.

So yes. Tell them to eat less and less. This is provided of course, that all other methods have failed. As I said earlier above.

Cake is a metaphor. You can substitue it with whatever you want, for this example, including the healthiest thing in the world you want. They have to quit eating so much of it, in order to lose weight. So whether it's cake or slim-fast, ulimtately, the results are the same.

The 10 pounds of this vs. that is an example as to why someone who has high metabolism can eat more than someone who doesn't. And also, as to why someone who has a low metabolism won't starve as quickly as someone who has a high one. It's also a good example to show why people who are dieting can't gorge themselves on lettuce, and fruit, and stuff like that. 10 pounds is 10 pounds, regardless of what you are eating. You may burn more of one than the other, fine, but it's still 10 pounds, and you have to keep that in check.

As you go through starvation, your metabolism drops lower and lower and lower, which is why starving people, so long as they get water, can live for twenty or thirty grueling days, even without eating. As you slope towards starvation, you body drops metab, and that way, it prolongs your life. It's a survival trait, and something you can take advantage of it you want to.

So if I have low metab, and you have high metab, you can eat more than me. Yeah, maybe I'm crying at night because I'm hungry, but that's how I lose weight -- I eat less.

If your friend (or whoever it is) has cut back, etc, then, as I said above, they need to cut back more. Or, get the determination and the motivation to exercise and work out. Takes 4 hours a day? Is it worth it to them? These are questions they need to ask themselves, not you of me, or you of them.

Class and tact is not saying "Oh, your genes force you gain weight, no matter what you do. It's ok." That's an excuse. Class and tact is telling someone how they can solve the problem, which is what I'm doing. If they don't want to do this (and, may I say, for the record, I don't suggest they ever let it get to this), then whatever, but I am trying to help. Yes, it's a sucky, confrontational, and unpleasant solution. Many solutions are like this. Tough.

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
let's wrap this up (none / 0) (#120)
by DJTiesto on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 03:16:07 PM EST

No I never meant to imply that class and tact is saying "Oh, your genes force you gain weight, no matter what you do. It's ok." I'm saying class and tact would be to simply ignore the person's weight, provided they are already doing all they can to control it, and stay healthy.

I don't know, the whole reason I got into this discussion with you was becuase you seemed to dismiss the notion of genetics having anything to do with your weight when you said:
Closely related to that terrible gene that makes fat appear from thin air and go right into your body, somehow violating conservation of mass and energy. Some people call this gene the "People-using-genetics-as-a-crutch,-while-they-shovel-backhoes-full-of-food-into -their-fat,-gaping-maws-Gene."
I just find that incredibly insulting to the group of overweight people who are doing everything they can (within reason) to maintain a normal weight. Quotes like this are the reason that I read k5 only when I'm really bored: the condescending insults really turn me off. To get totally off topic, I can't believe that story about the guy who tipped over the soda machine and killed himself was ever voted to the front page. I remember the poll had options like "Someone set us up the fat fucking idiot". What smug eliteism! I mean do you (and I mean the collective k5 "you", not you personally) people say this stuff to people in real life? And comments like the ones quoted above are (IMHO) rude and unecessary, for reasons I've posted over the past 24hrs.

So yeah, I agree that one way to lose weight is to famish yourself to the point of looking Ethiopian, but that is not healthful, humane, or practical over the long term. For some people, their metabolism is such that:

(calories needed to be healthy) > (calories needed to maintain normal weight)

If you're born w/ bad genes, the best thing you can do for your health is to make sure your diet is balanced and your exercise is regular, and learn to ignore childish "fatty fatty two-by-four" name calling.

Anyways I was reading your k5 journals and I see you like Oakenfold, so you can't be all that bad....just a little misguided in this case.

[ Parent ]
Me? Misguided? Never! (none / 0) (#122)
by AmberEyes on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 05:19:42 PM EST

Nah, I think you're just taking me too seriously, is all. I'm not some diet nazi, I'm just saying what happens to be true. *shrug* Again though, I personally would never recommend something like this, which is what I figure you've gotten out of this.

Your notion of "overweight people who are doing everything they can (within reason)" is really what this totally falls into. Is someone who is overweight willing to do something this far-fetched? I dunno. But that does give some credit to how seriously others should take them. There's a huge difference between an overweight person, sitting on his ass, eating everything healthy he can get his hands on, lamenting about his weight, and an overweight person who is dieting, exercising, and really trying to lose weight, maybe making himself uncomfortable and hungry, but ultimately knowing that some solutions require sacrifice.

Sez j00: "So yeah, I agree that one way to lose weight is to famish yourself to the point of looking Ethiopian, but that is not healthful, humane, or practical over the long term."

And yes, as I've said, I can't recommend this solution, but it is a solution. I mean, you can't just gain weight out of thin air. It comes from somewhere. Limit that, and limit the weight. There are certainly other options which I Have to think are more palatable, but this is an option.

And as far as the elitism goes, it's not really elitism on my part. Elitism would be "Hey, I'm not overwieght, why don't you people just sew your mouths shut?" Or, even worse, "Hey, I don't have to diet, but you do. Must be something wrong with you. Sucks to be you." That's elitism. While being dead honest about weight problems (and yes, while there are exceptions to every rule, in almost every case I've seen, overweight people with genetics that may (or may not) predispose them to slow metabolisms do the bare minimum to control their weight. Not neccessarily by choice either -- many have become defeated because their attempts to lose weight have failed. I'm not saying that they are packing on the pounds on purpose, by any means. These things happen.

However, it's a lifestyle choice to lose weight. Whether that's something as innocuous as exercising or dieting, or something as strong as fasting for a few days a week, there is always a solution, as unpleasant as it may be.

And that's what I'm getting at. Not that I think all fat people should diet (because hey, if you're fine with it, then be fat, what do I care?), but rather that hey, if you're chubby, and you want to do something about it, wake up -- realize that sacrifices must be made, and they'll probably be unpleasant. And no matter how much you think you're doing, like most things in life, you can always do more, it's just whether you want to or not. *shrug*

And yes, Oakenfold is godly. Especially his Politics of Dancing CD. Dragonfly was good too.

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
Oakenfold (none / 0) (#139)
by DJTiesto on Mon Jun 10, 2002 at 01:41:33 PM EST

Politics of Dancing is a mix by Paul van Dyk....

[ Parent ]
Yah (none / 0) (#141)
by AmberEyes on Mon Jun 10, 2002 at 06:08:59 PM EST

I know. I knew as soon as I typed it and posted it, but I figured you wouldn't be back to yell at me. ;)

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
Bad Diet (none / 0) (#63)
by dogeye on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:04:06 PM EST

I am not saying that genetics isn't a factor, but diet probably has something to do with it too. Maybe fat parents are more likely to feed their children unhealthy food. After all, if they think their diet is good enough for them, chances are they will think it is fine for their children too.

[ Parent ]
Bad diet is taught (none / 0) (#131)
by steveftoth on Sun Jun 09, 2002 at 12:33:00 AM EST

by the parents, which follows that if your parents are fat, they are eating a diet that makes them fat.  And then you learn how to eat like them and thus you are fat.

Of course there are exceptions, some people also can't grow hair or feel pain, and are just fat.  

[ Parent ]

Genes aren't everything... (none / 0) (#112)
by thewookie on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 06:22:05 AM EST

...and don't play as big a part in determining your behavour/characteristics as the current media fad would like to make out. Sure they're an important piece of the puzzle but you should read some Richard Lewontin to get a handle on exactly why they're promoted as the be-all-and-end-all...as usual, it all comes down to money.

[ Parent ]
Maybe (none / 0) (#49)
by loaf on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 11:45:54 AM EST

it was healthy pizza (low-fat mozarella and vegetables) and fries fried in unsaturated fat? :)

Remember sugar (4.50 / 4) (#50)
by nomoreh1b on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 11:58:35 AM EST

Obestity was not an epidemic in the US 100 years ago despite much higher consumption of bacon, ham and other meats. One big difference between the diet of 100 years ago and today is an enomous increase per capita consumption of refined sugar.

Now, it is necessary to eat sweets to get fat off eating refined sugars: tomato sauce, ketchup, mayonaise and other foods all have substantial amounts of sugar in them(some popular breakfast cereals are mostly sugar.

Now, there are diet experts that disagree on the right mix of carbohydrates vs protein vs fat for optimal weight loss. There is no diet expert that will tell you that refined sugar is necessary for optimal health.

I've personally made a move to avoid sugar in my diet(i.e. eating sugar no more than 2-3 times/year). I can't say it made a huge difference in weight loss-I lost about 10-15 lbs and kept if off. It did make a huge difference in my dental health and my mood swings are less pronounced.

Remember exercise (4.50 / 2) (#54)
by Nickus on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:38:33 PM EST

100 years ago people also moved a lot more than today because they didn't have cars and physical labor was much more common.



Due to budget cuts, light at end of tunnel will be out. --Unknown
[ Parent ]
Join Us In Creating Excitement (none / 0) (#78)
by LilDebbie on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 03:37:48 PM EST

I'm curious; have you gotten to the point where eating sweet foods is nigh-disgusting to you? I avoid refined sugar as well (not quite to the same extent) and my mouth feels like a rotting cesspool after drinking a can of Coke.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
I've always been this way (none / 0) (#95)
by TheSleeper on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 06:54:06 PM EST

Really sweet foods always leave a bad taste in my mouth when I finish them. I've always hated the way my mouth feels after I finish a Coke, for example. I think this is the key to the addictiveness of some sweet foods -- after I eat a few M&Ms, I find myself wanting more just to block out the bad taste left by the ones I've already eaten.

Which isn't to say I don't enjoy a nice slice of cheesecake, now and then.

[ Parent ]

Addiction to Sweets (none / 0) (#100)
by nomoreh1b on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 08:54:03 PM EST

I can't say that I find sweets disgusting--more like alluring. What I don't miss at all is the mood swings that come with ingesting sweets. The first month or so after I quit eating sweets were, really, really hard. I didn't try to loose weight during that period--frankly it would have been really hard if I had.

Good cherry pie, baked good, still have their allure. I just don't like the way I feel hours after I eat them.

The place where I've noticed a real serious change of palate is salty foods. I've also cut back on salt-and that one I notice quite profoundly--a lot of foods that used to taste good just don't any more.

[ Parent ]

I have for a while (none / 0) (#104)
by Therac-25 on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 11:21:23 PM EST


Even before I started to give up on sugar, I couldn't stand the feeling of regular coke residue on my teeth.  It made me want to run to the bathroom and brush my teeth after every can.

Diet coke is The Way for me.  Long live aspartime!

--
"If there's one thing you can say about mankind / There's nothing kind about man."
[ Parent ]

LilDebbie? (none / 0) (#117)
by memerot2 on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 02:04:25 PM EST

Say it ain't so!  Don't betray sugar LilDebbie, it made you the idol you are.

[ Parent ]
Heh. You missed something. (none / 0) (#132)
by gromm on Sun Jun 09, 2002 at 03:43:46 AM EST

One big difference between the diet of 100 years ago and today is an enomous increase per capita consumption of refined sugar.

Actually, at the turn of the 20th century, people in the US ate a big meal four or five times a day. That's because America's economy largely depended on farming and manufacturing, two sorts of jobs where people spent most of their waking hours doing heavy labour. And, while it allowed people to burn food energy like there's no tomorrow and stay fit as a fiddle, it sucked. We hated it, and we've been spending the past hundred years avoiding it at all costs. That's why we're in worse shape now than ever, not "because per capita sugar intake has gone up."

You want to reverse the trend? Move from the suburbs into a townhouse in the city and sell your car. That way, you have no excuse not to bike to work every day, and walk to the corner store to buy milk and toilet paper. You'd be amazed how much exercise you can get into such simple tasks. Sure, it sucks a little, not having all that automated mobility to get you around, but isn't that how we got into this mess in the first place? :)
Deus ex frigerifero
[ Parent ]

An interesting link (4.00 / 2) (#55)
by theboz on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:39:03 PM EST

Movie star Bruce Campbell's rant about fat.

Stuff.

think of the environment! (4.83 / 6) (#56)
by squinky on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:40:40 PM EST

"#  Breakfast: There's one key word here: bacon .  Lots and lots of bacon.  Your ideal breakfast should consist of no less than a pound of bacon.  And I'm not talking about this pansy-ass "lean bacon" either; ideally, you'll want a pen of hogs in your backyard so that you can slaughter them personally.  Bacon is best augmented by eggs; you will want to fry up at least four or five eggs per breakfast.  After finishing the eggs, you will find that eight or nine sausage links provide a tasty chaser."

Having a pen of hogs is an unnecessary strain on the environment.

You only need one hog and a liposuction machine and you can milk it for fat and grease. This has the added benefit of avoiding most of the unnecessary proteins found in bacon. What you're really after is the high fat content, and this system provides that.

Just start taking.... (5.00 / 2) (#58)
by ectospasm on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 12:59:50 PM EST

Lithium. I know I've put on at least 20 lbs. after going on it....

Don't rule out SSRIs, too... (none / 0) (#128)
by UptownGuy on Sat Jun 08, 2002 at 08:45:56 PM EST

...gained 40 lbs. over 2 years on Prozac and then Zoloft. Darn embarassing. When I finally went off the drugs, I was able to lose the weight and you know how? I stopped eating for a while. Its really quite a simple equation, folks. Sure we all have different metabolisms but the same basic MECHANISMS.

[ Parent ]
Oh, yeah... (none / 0) (#133)
by ectospasm on Sun Jun 09, 2002 at 03:38:24 PM EST

I'm on Paxil too, and will hopefully be getting off of it soon....

[ Parent ]
Big Sugar (5.00 / 1) (#66)
by Sheepdot on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:20:56 PM EST

Big Sugar has been using coffee and pop to grip the lives of so many innocents in the last couple years that it is starting to be a social problem. I read in a report the other day that caffeine was addictive, that means that Big Sugar has been doing this for too long and they must be stopped. Let's prevent them from advertising on TV and make it so they have to advertise in magazines.

Big Sugar (4.33 / 3) (#99)
by raaymoose on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 07:34:36 PM EST

Surely you don't mean these fine folks.



[ Parent ]
How to get fat in 3 steps (3.33 / 3) (#69)
by Cro Magnon on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 02:23:13 PM EST

1. Get a desk job 2. Get a car 3. Drink lots of Coke
Information wants to be beer.
This should be renamed. . . (2.62 / 8) (#92)
by Joey Shabadu on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 05:10:00 PM EST

Guide to living like an average American ! AHAHAHAHAH !!!!!!!

Carbs! (3.50 / 2) (#93)
by steveftoth on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 05:26:33 PM EST

It's all about carbs my friend, I think that a high-carb medium fat diet is the key. The reason being that your body can only digest so much fat, it has a much higher tollerance for carbs. Good choices are... Soda, (can't get enough regular soda) fries, bread, pasta. Also, always be eating, notice that really fat people can't stop eating! Always have a candy bar or a sandwich next to your desk while you work. Sitting at home, watching TV? Make sure that you've got a bag of chips or a box of cereal in your hand. (captain crunch is the best) If you ever feel too full to go on, then you are not trying hard enough. That pain you feel after a day of overeating in your belly is your intestinanes getting more efficient at processing food.

I don't think so (1.00 / 1) (#96)
by rodoke3 on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 06:56:50 PM EST

notice that really fat people can't stop eating!

How fat you get has very little to do with gaining weight compared to other more important things such as what you eat( 1 kg Carrots != 1 kg Bacon), and when you eat it ( 30 minutes after you wake is generally better than 30 minutes before you go to sleep, IMHO). Also, there is also your level of activity which plays a large part in weight gain. I know the year I got a car I gained twenty pounds compared to the year before when my weight stayed the same. Saying something like "fat people can't stop eating" sounds to me like you came straight out of a sitcom.


I take umbrage with such statments and am induced to pull out archaic and over pompous words to refute such insipid vitriol. -- kerinsky


[ Parent ]
sarcasm is not my friend. (none / 0) (#130)
by steveftoth on Sun Jun 09, 2002 at 12:29:40 AM EST

since I was not quite outragous enough in my last statement. ;)

but seriously, do you keep lots of snacks around the house?  I know that when I was a larger man, I snacked all the time.  I would snack after I got home from school, after dinner, get soda all day, etc...

And now I notice that my more portly friends also do the same and have more food around their houses them I do now.  

You're right, there are many many factors in gaining/losing weight.  But diet is the number one factor.  If you are not getting at least 1500-200 calories every day (depending on sex and activity level) then you will lose weight and if you eat more then 3000 calories every day then you will gain weight.  
If you eat 6000 callories one day and 1000 the next then you will just feel bad. gorging yourself doesn't mean that you will gain weight, unless that's all you do.

[ Parent ]

Missed one: Smoking (3.00 / 3) (#97)
by dmitri on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 07:09:40 PM EST

Don't smoke or ingest any tobacco substance. Nicotine is a stimulant that will suppress your appetite. Avoid at all costs.

Do smoke weed. Nothing like getting the munchies and consuming a whole box of twinkies to pack on the pounds. Better yet, two words... "Hash brownies".



-- "A society that will trade a little liberty for a little order will deserve neither and lose both." --B. Franklin
How to get fat (3.66 / 3) (#105)
by hengist on Thu Jun 06, 2002 at 11:22:35 PM EST

Move to the USA.

I swear, I gain about 2 kilos a week whenever I visit. Such huge portions, there. Pity the cheese is crap ;)

There can be no Pax Americana

cheese (none / 0) (#109)
by emmons on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 04:26:33 AM EST

The quality of the cheese depends on where you are and where it came from. Us Wisconsinites are very proud of ours. :)

---
In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-Douglas Adams

[ Parent ]
Cheese death ! (none / 0) (#111)
by thewookie on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 05:19:39 AM EST

Slightly off topic, but... I read 'somewhere' that the US government actually issues advice to US Citizens travelling to Europe not to eat the cheese. Apparently this is because US cheese is so far removed from real cheese as to be devoid of the bacteria we over here are so used to ingesting - older US visitors who eat, say, blue cheese are at risk of severe food poisoning as a result ... I heard that occasionally people actually die from this... Now, this stands a very high chance of being complete bullshit, but I'd love to be enlightened !

[ Parent ]
Cheese Death? (none / 0) (#119)
by AmberEyes on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 02:19:32 PM EST

Now that sounds like an Invader Zim episode, if ever I heard one.

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
[ Parent ]
YMMV. (none / 0) (#124)
by AtomicBomb on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 10:19:27 PM EST

Well, that really depends. The excessive amount of food, fat, sodium etc in US fast food made me really sick in just 2 weeks. I was so indigested that I lost appettite for an entire week afterwards. I decide to carry Vitamin C and fiber pills with me if I ever need to head over there again. Someone from the North Island... I might meet you before if you were in ANNES2001.

[ Parent ]
It's travel (none / 0) (#138)
by jolly st nick on Mon Jun 10, 2002 at 01:39:40 PM EST

I travel quite a bit, and find that I tend to gain weight on trips.

If you eat in restaurants in the US, you will be eating richer foods in larger portions than you would otherwise.



[ Parent ]

Fidgeting (3.00 / 1) (#106)
by cnicolai on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 12:24:37 AM EST

Nonexercise activity thermogenesis ( NEAT), aka fidgeting, can burn off most of your extra calories. Make sure you sit extra still in front of that TV.

Food is pleasure (4.25 / 4) (#108)
by meatsack on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 03:10:52 AM EST

Why do fat people just not stop eating? Think about it. At a point when you're grossly overweight and look like Jabba the Hut, the greatest pleasure in your life comes from food. You no longer can walk, meet your friends, or even go outdoors. So the only thing you do is eat.

Thats why the majority of weight-loss programs fail...they fail to address this issue. So if you wanna lose weight, stop eating, but replace it with something you enjoy. Start smoking, start drinking, start something! You could start exercising, but that sucks.

obese (none / 0) (#123)
by Cryptnotic on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 05:41:14 PM EST

Most obese persons are not grossly overweight. Instead, they are 50-100 pounds overweight. They can still go out with their friends and engage in things that the enjoy. However, they will never get a date or be seen as attractive to others.

[ Parent ]
Whaaa? (none / 0) (#126)
by ignavum on Sat Jun 08, 2002 at 01:52:48 AM EST

Never be seen as attractive, and never get a date? Huh..?!!! In what reality?! The anti-fat sentiment is pretty marginal when it comes to dating; you've got those few people who just WON'T, but at the same time, there's probably more people with distinct preferences in HAIR color than body size. Statements like that ("However, they will never get a date or be seen as attractive to others.") are just silly.

[ Parent ]
Don't be intellectually dishonest... (none / 0) (#127)
by UptownGuy on Sat Jun 08, 2002 at 08:42:59 PM EST

You really thing that a person 50-100 lbs. overweight can socially interact as a single person the same way as a "normal sized" person? At a nightclub? At a party? Being introduced to a friend of a friend...? Don't be so intellectually dishonest. It would be NICE if people didn't care about looks, but they do. They will never get a date or be seen as attractive to others is obviously trolling for a reaction, but, what? You rule out 90% of your dating pool and find it next to impossible to compete in this area. There's merit to that statement and we all know it.

Don't let your ideology get in the way of reality...

[ Parent ]
Weight and being Skinny (none / 0) (#125)
by dTaylorSingletary on Fri Jun 07, 2002 at 11:02:42 PM EST

Few comments in threads like these present the view of those of us who are prisoned in being thin. I was born with a very high metabolism that keeps my stomach always running. I've been very underweight all my life, to much derision in my youth and in general all throughout my life. At 22, I am 5'10" weighing 110 pounds. My stomach is always aching, processing, and running at super speeds. If I eat in large amounts, nothing ever happens. Due to being poor though, I am often not eating in large amounts, and my stomach running on its metabolic overdrive digests my stomach lining instead. There is no way that I've seen to gain weight in light of an genetically overactive metabolism. And I've rarely seen any talk about it, or those with it. My father didn't begin to gain any weight until well into his thirties. I fear my stomach won't make it that long. And when and if it does slow down, I hope that my financial situation allows me to eat in copious amounts to at last have some kind of substance, so that I am not constantly feeling naesous, fatigued, and shaky. d. Taylor Singletary http://www.warpedgames.com/~dts
--
d. Taylor Singletary, reality technician
music: http://techra.elephantus.com
I know exactly how you feel (none / 0) (#134)
by jbridge21 on Mon Jun 10, 2002 at 12:47:25 AM EST

I have very similar numbers -- 19 years, 5'10", 115 lbs. It doesn't seem to matter how much I eat, I stay about the same weight. If I was unconcerned about the health problems associated with consuming large amounts of fat, I actually would have taken this article as a proper howto and a call to action for me to eat more fast food.

[ Parent ]
Hmm (none / 0) (#145)
by jred on Thu Jun 13, 2002 at 04:50:19 PM EST

Well, I'm 30, 5'10", 130lb.  (I just gained 2 lbs, w00t!)

I've had a similar problem, except when I start eating a bunch, I lose ~5 lbs.  Stop eating so much, gain it back.  My metabolism seems to follow my intake.  Actually, now that I think about it, I just got a new girlfriend, so the extra exercise might explain the 2 lbs.

I just deal with it.  I have the added bonus of no appetite, so I can go for a few days w/o eating if I don't think about it.  Nowadays I remember to eat when I feed my daughter, so that helps a bit.  She (6) never lets me forget to feed her :)

jred
[ Parent ]

My favorite Taylor quotes on the subject of food (none / 0) (#142)
by illerd on Mon Jun 10, 2002 at 07:01:39 PM EST

Taylor ponders the morning's activities:
"I think at some point I'd like to connect with some food."


Taylor says to me as I'm ruthlessly devouring his girlfriend Marissa's delicious homemade cupcakes in a weed-induced feeding frenzy:
"You're a big eater. I like that."

[ Parent ]
Hang in there Dude. It Only Gets Worse. (none / 0) (#144)
by underscore on Thu Jun 13, 2002 at 04:31:01 PM EST

Been thru where you are now and you have my deepest sympathetic regards. I finally beat my system (sorta,kinda) by initiating a 2.5 to 4 hr a day exercise programme to put on muscle mass. I'm about an inch taller than you and weighted about 15 lbs more at 22 and was hyperactive on all fronts. I could have had a cornucopia strapped to my gapping mouth and would have burned off the input sitting "still". I was a 5'11" vibrator gone horribly wrong. Working out aerobically, skipping (really good to acquire rhythmic breathing) running, cycling, bladding, whatever for about 45 mins to an hour a day followed by a session of freeweights and all bracketed by stretching sessions did wonders. First it fatigued me and I was able to come down off hyperdrive. Second it made me friendly with my limits (never go past pain you can't rhythmically breath through). Third it drove me to understand the energy cycle of the body and the impact diet can have. But most of all it put me in the captain's chair. A big part of the suffering I endured, as you are, came from my metabolism running away with my life. By pushing myself daily, intelligently beyond my metabolism's "normal" rate I was able to begin to play with it, to modulate it's rhythms by varying my exercise regime and diet. Good luck.
a geek possessed of animal cunning
is a most fearsome adversary

[ Parent ]
Females : this should help (none / 0) (#136)
by Glenfiddich on Mon Jun 10, 2002 at 05:43:26 AM EST

You're not alone :) http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/bin/content/shockwave.jsp?id=regurge03

The Fat Lifestyle (none / 0) (#140)
by chroma601 on Mon Jun 10, 2002 at 03:06:07 PM EST

I am a FA. Fat Admirer. I love fat women. (Well, just my wife, but I admit I _look_ at fat women lustily.) If you promise to be nice, here is a site which caters to folks like me: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com Check out the web boards, particularly the weight board, for a peek into this lifestyle. I ask you to respect the board's purpose and please not post derogative comments. Lord knows we get our share of adolescent criticism, sometimes quite mean. But the board is a small corner of relief in a world where thin is foisted upon us as if it was the only standard of beauty. Reubens knew better. Perhaps some day we'll cycle around and once more the full figure will be beheld as the beautiful thing it is. For another view, I recommend the site "Judgement Of Paris" http://www.judgmentofparis.com/ At this site, the focus is on plus size beauty from a fashion perspective. There is much fascinating reading here, and I deem it one of the most intelligent sites on the web. Enjoy!
aibohphobia: the fear of palindromes
Fat Comments (none / 0) (#146)
by Locairin on Fri Jun 14, 2002 at 11:30:37 PM EST

This is perhaps the most ammusing "story" about how to get fat. I quit enjoyed the content, as well as the language (if that isn't the same thing, I am afterall a dumbass). anyway, I think being fat is good for people (unless ofcourse, they have strokes or heart attacks or any other health related bad things from being fat). And as for myself, I love my gut, and won't give it up!!
I'm a dumbass, how about you?
gain weight with everquest? no way! (none / 0) (#147)
by ibbie on Tue Apr 08, 2003 at 02:37:15 PM EST

this is too funny!

the bitter irony of this is that i've lost over 5 pounds since getting back into evercrack. this may or may not have something to do with the fact that i'm too busy leveling my druid to go get a sandwich.

--
george washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? because george still had the axe in his hand.
How to Get Really Really Fat | 147 comments (136 topical, 11 editorial, 0 hidden)
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