An axiom: if aliens have crossed the huge gulfs of space to lurk among us, then they're patient beings. This is the crux to understanding their cruel plot. If they had brief lives and warp drives, then they'd have disclosed themselves by now and tried to wipe us out in a fiery cataclysm.
But not these sinister creatures. No, they'll wait and let us do the work ourselves, merely using their insidious mind control lasers to influence a few world leaders to do their bidding.
Now to the evidence for their presence. First, we must consider what they don't want: a homogeneous culture composed of healthy, intelligent, insightful humans, with a sustainable economy, devoting resources to long term technological research and development.
Taken point by point, the alien influence becomes clear.
The United Nations is so obviously an alien construct that it's almost too blatant. But think about it just for a moment. Do you even know who your representative in the United Nations is? Of course not. The United Nations - the world government - is an unelected and unrepresentative body, run to rubber-stamp the cartel interests of the G8. Specifically, "United Nations resolution" usually equates to "US decree", and if this is not obvious to some readers, it is patently clear to those that are the subject of these proclamations.
And yet, paradoxically, many US citizens are opposed to the very idea of a world government, even though it is - de facto - run by them. At the same time, smaller nations love the idea of a world government, but hate the way that it is run. Nobody actually likes the United Nations in its current form.
And so why do so many countries continue to contribute to a body that is held in such universal contempt? I'd be open to hearing a more logical explanation than alien mind control lasers, because I'm flummoxed.
To defend ourselves from the alien scourge, we need to be fighting fit. All that takes is clean water and disease prevention, good nutrition and regular exercise.
Unfortunately, at least half of the human population gets their water from polluted sources. Twenty five thousand humans die each day from drinking polluted water. Unsanitary water is a major factor in spreading disease, but, but outdated social prohibitions play their part, with widowed women in many parts of the world having no career open to them other than prostitution, usually without access to barrier prophylactics, or even the minimal education to know why they should use them. This is hardly a new situation, but keen watchers of the skies must surely ask why it is not getting any better.
Even the most casual reader of Kuro5hin must by now be aware that there is enough food on the planet to sustain the present human population, but that it is overwhelmingly consumed by first world nations. This could be simply written off as human greed, but there is a deeper and creepier explanation.
Let's look at what first world nation humans consume, using the USA as an example. It's not just the quantity of food or the high proportion of animal fats that points to alien influence, it's the processing and additives that we choose to use. The US diet is packed with sodium, refined sugars, pesticides, bovine growth hormone and gene spliced ingredients, all with erratic, misleading or just plain dishonest labelling (what exactly does "low fat" mean?). Unless you grow your own food, you cannot eat healthily in the USA. Obesity, heart disease and cancers are practically guaranteed. No rational human society would allow this situation to continue: I refer you to the mind control lasers.
This self destructive strategy becomes even more clear when we consider (briefly) drug prohibition. Most western countries tolerate the horrendous social consequences of alcohol use and protracted suicide through the use of additive-packed tobacco products. Caffeine is used by almost all, but cocaine is banned even though it is comparable in effect, toxicity and physiological addictiveness when used in the same small dilute doses. Study after study has shown that the only guaranteed result of drug prohibition is to absolutely ensure the binge abuse of cripplingly expensive polluted substances, with the consequent health and social costs, and the massive profits that drive organised crime. What on earth could explain such a self destructive policy? Nothing on earth.
As the sugary icing on the buttery cake that is poor health, consider that US citizens do not walk anywhere. By leveraging global power (causing long term division and resentment in the process), the US ensures a plentiful supply of cheap automobiles and gasoline, obviating the need to place one pudgy foot in front of the other. Exercise is something that you actively have to seek out in the first world. The effects of this take years to pay off, but remember that our alien overlords are patient.
Not all humans are equally intelligent. If we were, nobody would remember Albert Einstein as anything other than a completely average patent clerk with flat feet and varicose veins. Most of us accept the notion of inherited traits, i.e. intelligent parents will tend to have intelligent children. And yet suggest that we should reward intelligent parents and actively encourage them to have children, and you can be labelled a Nazi (by the non-reasoning that eugenics is a necessary part of Nazism, therefore it's sufficient to to indicate it). Further, if you raise the issue of welfare births, you're begging to be branded a racist, even if you never, ever mention race. So don't raise it. For the love of Xenu, don't raise that issue.
And so instead we blithely continue with our pretence that there's absolutely no relationship between intelligence or achievement, and that welfare kids will stop going on to become welfare parents real soon now. We keep on providing welfare and rewards to all parents, regardless of ability or achievement, and pay for this strategy by punishing high performers with huge social and economic burdens (college loans, taxation, long working hours) so that those that contribute the most are increasingly having fewer children, later in life.
There are two explanations for this. Either positive genetic traits have absolutely no effect on achievement or productivity; or we are actively seeking to - or are being encouraged to - devolve and become helpless. Pick one.
Following the above example, we can choose to treat genetic traits like intelligence differently from pragmatic behaviour like insight. By insight, I mean the ability to analyse issues and draw rational conclusions. Obviously, the aliens must encourage us to not to question or investigate the system that they have set up, to accept the status quo no matter how insane or damaging it is.
We have touched briefly on the inexplicable tolerance of the United Nations by the majority of the human population. But such blind acceptance of poor leadership is not limited to disadvantaged nations. Consider that in the first world, nobody believes politicians. Commentators, analysts, even most of the electorate accept that politicians are at best inept and at worst corrupt. But the sinister aspect is that we do accept this, we participate in political systems that have no goal other than to sustain themselves, and we pillory those that choose to dissent by saying "If you don't vote, you can't complain".
But few of us have the luxury of being able to vote for a candidate that actually represents our opinions, and by and large we don't even question or care about the integrity of our candidates. We accept that politicians lie habitually, that it simply never occurs to them that they could tell the truth. And then we turn out and vote for the man or woman with the best chance of defeating whoever we perceive as being the worst candidate.
Most of our votes are protest votes, and yet we never think to demand a "none of the above" option. With this sort of system, corruption is practically guaranteed. You don't have to think in the long term, because even if you're ousted, you know that the next candidate will be just as bad as you, and you only have to wait a few years until you will once again appear to be the lesser of two evil. This system is so twisted, so horrendous, that it could only be the result of a cold, calculating alien intelligence seeking to weaken us at every opportunity.
Sustainable economy and long term research
The aliens are patient, but they won't wait for ever. It's crucial that we burn ourselves out before we reach a level of technology where we become a threat to them. Luckily, we're well on the way.
Our current global economy and wealth is utterly reliant on fossil fuels. In terms of human civilisation, these are a blip, a fad, a passing fancy. We're already using them up faster than we're finding them, so the clock is ticking. And they really are a one off opportunity. Humanity is perhaps half a million years old, civilisation (in the sense of settled populations) is perhaps ten thousand years old. In all of that time, we have relied on renewable energy sources. Fossil fuels will come and go in a few hundred years, and then we will - through necessity - have to return to renewable resources. If the aliens let us, that is.
Because at the moment, we have no plans to do so. Our current "renewable" sources are not. Solar, wind and wave power devices suffer from a dirty little secret: they do not produce enough energy over their useful lifetime to cover the total energy costs of making and maintening them. A factory producing solar power panels can use those panels to produce enough electricity to run itself, but it cannot produce enough of a surplus to power the requisite level of infrastructure: the construction and maintenance of the machines that extract the raw materials to make the panels; the power for the homes of the workers that run it; the lifestyles of the workers that are required at every step of production of the panels, including production of their food supply. We are currently using up fossil fuels to make "renewable" sources of power generation that can barely power a few sparse residential areas. When those new sources grind to a halt in fifty years, what's going to power the construction of their replacement?
Nuclear! Of course, it's the only possible mid term solution. Whether we like it or not, we will have to use it. So why do we seem so utterly, completely unable to accept that? Why do large proportions of voters (voting with their heart in a corrupt, broken system, remember) keep telling our politicians that they won't accept it? Three words. Mind. Control. Lasers.
But surely we will redress this situation before it's too late by actually balancing our energy books! Well, when are we going to start? We could have used the vast wealth of fossil fuels to fund an enormous technological explosion, and given our grandchildren the stars. We very nearly did in the 1960's - I conjecture that the aliens were having a ten year nap - but then we reverted to type and decided that instead we'd squander the one-off fossil wealth on disposable consumer items, and on developing and maintaining weapons to kill purely earth-bound opponents. We are quite literally burning up our future by maintaining enormous military-industrial complexes that have no purpose other than to destroy each other. The USA spends $400 billion dollars a year on defence. Much of this is virtual fiat currency, but some of it is tangible and finite resource. Flying fighter jets around an empty sky serves no global purpose other than to encourage other countries to do the same.
But isn't this bad for the aliens? Don't they want those fossil fuels? Hardly. They're patient. They know that fossil is a quirk of history. They're here for the long term, and they (demonstrably, because they're here) spent their own fossil wealth to bootstrap themselves up to properly efficient sustainable energy sources and to much better technology. Once we've cleared the way, they can have all the real estate they like to set up geothermal, wind, wave, water and solar collectors, or they can simply burn wood in a sustainable fashion after we wipe ourselves out and the forests grow back.
So what are they waiting for? What will be the trigger for their invasion? There are several options:
- The impoverished nations finally get tired of being pushed around, realise that they've got nothing to lose, and unleash a global biological plague. As we've been told repeatedly, biological weapons are cheaper and easier than nuclear weapons, and every tin pot dictator can have them. Conveniently, they won't bother the aliens at all.
- We simply collapse under our own weight. The first world will groan to a halt as the obese, unfit population ages. As we spend more and more on keeping humans alive and consuming for longer, the tax burden will rise until eventually nobody will be able to afford to have children. Then it all falls apart. The third world could pick up the pieces, only by the time it happens, we'll have sucked their fossil reserves dry. What are they going to use to power their growth?
- Or they just wait. If they're sufficiently patient, they can wait for the next ice age. When the ice sheets retreat, what are we going to use to bootstrap ourselves back up to a level of technology sufficient to challenge them? The aliens can simply drop out of orbit and enslave our caveman descendants. If the cunning aliens dress as Gerry Springer and Oprah, then they can even use our use grunting, hooting faeces flinging descendants' racial memory to their advantage.
What can we do about this nightmare scenario? Probably nothing. If I'm right, it's already too late. Under the influence of the insidious mind control lasers, we foolishly blew our fossil wealth on exploding our population, and we chose to believe politicians who told us that they knew how to keep the wealth flowing forever. But it can't, because as we've been told so often recently, we're consumers. Not contributors, not stakeholders, not taxpayers. Consumers. We drill and we eat and we make baby consumers. That's all we do, and now that the alien plan approaches fruition, that's all we'll ever do. How many trees did you plant today? Damn those mind control lasers!
I vote that we don't wait for the next ice age, and we nuke ourselves right back to the stone age right now. Best case, we leave the last dribble of fossil fuels for our descendants, and maybe they'll spend it more wisely. Worst case... well, at least we poison the chalice for the aliens and spoil their fun.
And if there's no aliens? Well, that's the most frightening option of all. If that's true, then I still vote for the fiery cataclysm. Let's do the universe a favour, and avoid the remote possibility that we do manage to spread our infection to another planet before we burn this one out.
(Credit goes to turmeric for an article suggesting ways to wipe out humans that led to the revelation that we, or rather our alien puppet masters, are already well advanced down that path)