if 'men in general' want women to not be afraid of them, then 'men in general' need to do a few things.
I count myself among the general male population. This subject reminds me of a time that I was driving in the early morning, and had to slow down to check some written directions. A lady was jogging in the same direction
that I was driving, but I had not noticed her. Apparently she noticed me, and abruptly switched directions. At first I was puzzled, but then realized that it looked suspicious that a car would be slowly driving behind a jogger. In a way, I was hurt that anyone would think of me as a threat; that's not what I'm all about. But, her actions were quite reasonable. It's sad that things should be this way.
Anyway, let's run down the list
1. stop beating women
That's easy; I never have to begin with.
2. stop raping women
Piece of cake; I've never raped anyone.
3. stop beating kids
I have never beaten any kids.
4. stop raping kids
Like I said, I've never raped anyone.
5. stop apologizing for people who do the above, and stop blaming women and kids for any of the above
I've never been inclined to condone that behavior, nor have I
blamed the women or kids who are beaten or forceably raped.
6. stop making fun of people who are working against child abuse
I don't recall making fun of anyone for working against child abuse.
7. stop treating feminism like a joke
Can you be more specific, here? Many different things are called "feminism." Exactly what is your idea of feminism?
8. stop joking about rape, abuse, and exploitation as a joke
I'm not inclined to joke about those things.
9. reconsider the porn you consume
I have, several years ago. I don't know about other guys, but this
one was tremendously difficult for me, and there were many setbacks. I don't
know if it's at all similar, but through the process, I've gained compassion for those who have struggled against alcoholism and drug addiction.
I understand that viewing or reading pornographic material has subtle, but very powerful negative effect on overall society with regard to how human beings relate to one another. If it is ok for the participants in pornography to treat one another in that way, if it's ok to present that satisfying any sexual inclination should be satisfied regardless of how and in what context, then how can we expect those who watch it to be completely unaffected? Advertisers know full well how images, and especially sexual images, reach down into our internal wiring and affect our behavior. Advertisers are, of course, interested in bringing about purchasing behavior. But is it really reasonable to assume that a change in purchasing habits is the only thing affected by seeing these images?
Your message is an clearly an example of the "hasty generalization" fallacy; if you ask "men in general," I'm sure that you'll find very nearly all of them will have responses similar to mine, with the possible exception of those who are in the clutches of addiction to #9 here. However, I can see past that to what your core point is, and I think that I agree.
I have to ask, though, how is pornography made? If the women who participate are forced into sex, why isn't that prosecuted as rape? And if they are not forced, then don't they bear the same burden of responsibility for their contribution to pornography as you suggest (with your 10 points) that badly behaved men should bear for their own actions?
I have to also ask what is the responsibility of society (male and female members) as a whole? Similar to the subtle, yet powerful way that pornography shapes our attitudes, elective abortion also has a subtle but powerful effect. If it is ok to kill human beings who simply because they are inconvenient, then why is it also not ok to belittle them, beat them, rape them, and film them doing degrading things? After all, if human life isn't valuable simply because it's human life, then some people can much more easily justify what they do to those human lives that they consider worthless (or that they don't even recognize as human).
10. etc etc etc
That's not very specific. If you have concrete recommendations,
it would be much easier for others to consider acting on them if
they were stated clearly.
"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." -- Mother Teresa of Calcutta
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