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[P]
How to Mix the Perfect Martini

By zaxus in Op-Ed
Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 02:21:34 PM EST
Tags: Food (all tags)
Food

The perfect Martini is an elusive beast, no doubt. But it's simpler than you may think. Read on...


The trick to the perfect Martini lies in the vermouth. More specifically, it's the LACK of vermouth. Here's the skinny:

Hardware:
Shaker (preferably metal, although plastic will work too)
Large Martini Glass
Refrigerator (seems obvious, I know, but it's important)
Olive Spear

Software:
6 oz Gin or Vodka
A splash of Dry Vermouth
Olives (1 to 3 is traditional) or Lemon Peel
Ice (cubes will work, crushed is better)

Ahead of Time:
Start by refrigerating your vermouth for the amount of time it takes for the bottle to get cold (at least an hour). I'll explain why in a bit. Chill a Martini glass in the refrigerator or the freezer for about 10 minutes. You can go for less time, but I like my Martinis at the lowest possible temperature.

The Mixing:
Take the glass out of the fridge/freezer and pour a small amount of Vermouth into it. Here's the important bit: swirl the vermouth in the glass so that the sides of the glass are coated. DISCARD THE REMAINING VERMOUTH. Spear an olive or two, and put it in the glass. Pour your gin or vodka (gin is better) into a shaker over copious amounts of ice. Shake the living crap out of it. Seriously, shake it like a revival preacher shaking the devil out of a sinner. Strain into the glass, and you're good to go.

Technically you're supposed to eat the olives first, but I won't tell if you don't.

Some Explanation
The reason for refrigerating your vermouth is so that you don't warm your glass when you swirl with it. I know it seems like a waste of good alcohol to toss the vermouth remaining in the glass, but trust me, it makes the end result so much better, that it's well worth it. I suppose you could save it, since it's barely even touched the glass, but that just sounds strange to me.

Also, the reason crushed ice is better than cubes is that the surface are of the crushed ice is significantly greater than that of the cubes (like a heatsink in reverse). Greater surface area equals greater cooling power.

Variation
Now, having said all that, my person favorite variation is to replace the olives with a lemon twist. Take a small twist of lemon rind, rub it around the edge of the glass, throw it in, and pour the gin over that.

Brands
Not to start a flame war, but here are my favorite brands of spirits for use in martinis. I prefer Beefeater gin to all others. As for vodka, Skyy is my personal favorite, as I find Absolut has too much bite for my taste. Haven't gotten around to buying/trying Grey Goose (although I hear it's excellent). I use Martini & Rossi Dry Vermouth.

Man, I need a martini.

Feel free to post your favorite variations and/or recipes in the comments.

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Poll
Perfect Martini:
o Gin 33%
o Vodka 25%
o The "Vesper" 4%
o Chocolate Martini 6%
o Sour Apple Martini 6%
o CowboyNeal - shaken, not stirred 24%

Votes: 98
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Also by zaxus


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How to Mix the Perfect Martini | 200 comments (161 topical, 39 editorial, 0 hidden)
-1, Obvious :::peniz:::Q (1.22 / 9) (#1)
by peniz Q on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 12:32:44 AM EST

So you're basically announcing that you're a master logician. I'm a very proud person too, but I don't flaunt my abilities.

I'm not saying that deducing the need for a LACK of vermouth was not an important accomplishment. I'm just saying that there's no need to write a story about it.

Dangerous content.

Hey (4.50 / 2) (#2)
by zaxus on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 12:41:50 AM EST

Just trying to pass on a little knowledge. Next time I'll keep it to myself....

---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
Disagree (5.00 / 1) (#6)
by Kadin2048 on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 01:07:24 AM EST

It's an Op-Ed; he's just sharing his opinion on what's important in making the best martini. Seeing as how the vermouth is a critical element, it's tough to write an article about making a martini without giving your opinion on how much to add.

And personally, I'm all for an article on martinis--it's nice to have something to talk about that doesn't involve terrorists or Hitler once in a while.

[ Parent ]

FUCK!!! (1.75 / 4) (#109)
by miah on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 08:13:50 PM EST

You just invoked Godwin's Law. This discussion is now over...

Religion is not the opiate of the masses. It is the biker grade crystal meth of the masses.
SLAVEWAGE
[ Parent ]
Godwin's Law (4.50 / 4) (#116)
by ParadisePete on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 11:06:01 PM EST

You just invoked Godwin's Law.

No he didn't. If anyone is invoking it, it's you. And wrongly so. No comparison was made, he simply mentioned the name. Godwin's "Law" does not apply.

[ Parent ]

True Martini Story (4.50 / 4) (#12)
by egg troll on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 01:49:51 AM EST

So a friend of mine named Tim and I are sitting at a bar. My friend had ordered a martini. When the waitress brings it, Tim is alarmed to discover there is crushed-fucking-ice in it! When we point this out to the waitress, she replies, "You didn't say you didn't want it not on the rocks."

He's a bondage fan, a gastronome, a sensualist
Unparalleled for sinister lasciviousness.

Your waitress is not the brightest. (3.75 / 4) (#125)
by synaesthesia on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 05:20:24 AM EST

Cancel out two of the negatives in her proclamation, and she still got it wrong.

Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
Ah, the "elegant" drink (4.57 / 14) (#16)
by stormie on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 02:17:51 AM EST

I've never understood how the martini got a reputation for elegance. Let's face it: a martini is basically a glass of neat gin (oh, OK, with an olive in it), and drinking a glass of neat gin doesn't make you look elegant - it makes you look like a drunken housewife. It's only a short step from drinking martinis to hitting the cooking sherry and the 4 litre casks of fruity dyslexia.

Humphrey Bogart (5.00 / 28) (#71)
by ghjm on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 01:05:36 PM EST

The point of a martini - which the author of this story seems to miss - is that it is the minimum possible apparatus to preserve the boundary between "civilized drinking" and puking on the sidewalk.

Why all this silliness about glancing at the bottle of vermouth? Because the one thing you must NEVER EVER DO is admit that you are just drinking a glass of gin. The presence of vermouth, at least in some vestigal form, makes it a drink you can have in mixed company.

All this talk of "bruising the gin" and so forth is utter crap. Gin is not a connoisseur's drink like wine or scotch. Gin is not bruisable, at least not by the likes of you, because gin is stronger than you are. If you piss off gin, it will kick your ass. That's why you need some vermouth to protect you.

-Graham

[ Parent ]

best comment about gin ever (4.00 / 3) (#82)
by Delirium on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 01:54:45 PM EST



[ Parent ]
What is this crap? (1.83 / 12) (#17)
by jjayson on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 02:22:23 AM EST

It's like 3 fucking sentences of useful information. It is almost contentless. All the lushes come out in drove to vote this drivel up though.
--
This space for rent.
Yuk yuk (5.00 / 11) (#20)
by kitten on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 02:39:57 AM EST

It's like 3 fucking sentences of useful information. It is almost contentless.

Much like just about everything you've ever said or done, but without the part where it's useful.

Seriously, you bitching about "content-free drivel" just delighted me, since I'm such a sucker for irony.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
What is this crap? (none / 0) (#156)
by jforan on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 07:33:59 PM EST

It's three sentences of useless information.  It has no content.  It is a waste of space on my screen.

Jeff

I hops to be barley workin'.
[ Parent ]

How to mix the perfect best super awesome martini: (4.53 / 13) (#18)
by MMcP on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 02:26:34 AM EST

1) Get bottle of gin
2) :::most important step::: uncap bottle
3) Make contents of bottle go into stomach
4) Watch room spin

seriously, I am getting sick of the whole techie phenomenon of demanding we complicate our lives and make ourselves neurotic with endless numerical steps, instead of having fun and getting drunk.

"OH NOES HE IS DRINKING HIS MARTNIN WRONG I AM SO MUCH BETTER THEN HE IS BECAUSE I FOLLOWED THE STEPS!!!1!"

Here is an even quicker way to do it:

1) Go to nice bar
2) Give the nice man money for a martini
3) Get drunk

Not really the point.... (none / 0) (#55)
by zaxus on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 10:36:37 AM EST

But I can see where you're coming from. This is my opinion on how to make the best martini, but there's an almost infinite variation to making and enjoying them. You've hit the nail on the head, though: the whole point is to get toasted and have a good time.

---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
Alcohol HAS no point (3.00 / 3) (#92)
by gidds on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 06:04:10 PM EST

the whole point is to get toasted and have a good time

SYNTAX ERROR IN LINE 4: 'and' IS NOT VALID IN THIS POSITION

I've never understood the way people equate getting drunk with having a good time. I've tried drinking socially in moderation (little to no effect), I've tried drinking pints (I can't keep more than 2 down, even with practice), I've tried drinking large amounts of spirits (over a reasonable time period, little effect; over too short a time, digestive collapse). In short, I've tried it all, and eventually come to the following conclusion: ALCOHOL IS POINTLESS.

I don't like the taste of most drinks. None make me feel any better, and excessive quantities make me feel far worse. They're expensive, they stop me driving, they make me tired, slow, and eventually dizzy and ill. So what's the point?

Is there something wrong with me that I don't seem to be able to get whatever magic benefit most people seem to get from it? Or does everyone else drink because they expect it to make them feel good, without it ever doing so?

Andy/
[ Parent ]

Reply: (5.00 / 4) (#98)
by duxdown on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:02:17 PM EST

Is there something wrong with me that I don't seem to be able to get whatever magic benefit most people seem to get from it?

Yes.
A picture is worth a thousand words. Down with Duxup!
[ Parent ]
you just haven't found your drink yet -nt- (none / 0) (#107)
by Suppafly on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:54:46 PM EST


---
Playstation Sucks.
[ Parent ]
Re: you just haven't found your drink yet (none / 0) (#110)
by gidds on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 09:33:01 PM EST

Oh yes I have...

Andy/
[ Parent ]
Yes, there's something wrong (4.80 / 5) (#118)
by ph317 on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 01:04:13 AM EST


From your comments I assume you have a problem with your drinking accuracy.  This is common among entry-level drinkers in high school and college (or maybe junior-high these days?).  Drinking without accuracy, unless you're an alcoholic, is quite pointless, but these early drinkers do it out of peer-pressure anyways.  Eventually most of them follow one of three paths:
  1. They continue to fail to accurately drink, but continue drinking anyways, and become lushes and alcoholics.
  2. They stop drinking regularly at all, but then on rare occasions they end up drinking somewhere, still at their former level of inaccuracy, and make fools of themselves and feel stupid.
  3. They eventually get the hang of accurate drinking, and can enjoy alcohol the rest of their lives.
Accurate drinking is the ability to consume any type of alcohol dependant on the situation and the company, and still pace your alcohol intake perfectly so that you get a mild buzz (mild is very key here) and maintain that buzz for the time you wish to do so.  The buzz should be light enough that a stiff shot of adrenalin would sober you immediately, hence allowing you to be a responsible individual in times of crisis, while being strong enough to grease the social wheels in your brain and generally unload your day-to-day anxiety.

Being able to drink accurately repeatably is a sign of strength, the weak succumb to the drunkeness or cower from alcohol entirely.

[ Parent ]

Accuracy isn't the problem (5.00 / 1) (#129)
by gidds on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 08:03:16 AM EST

Accurate drinking is the ability to... pace your alcohol intake perfectly so that you get a mild buzz... and maintain that buzz for the time you wish to do so.

I know the 'mild buzz' you describe; I can achieve it if I want (I know my capacity). I just don't find it particularly pleasant or desirable, that's all - if anything, it interferes with my ability to have a good time.

Andy/
[ Parent ]

Hey (none / 0) (#143)
by NoBeardPete on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 01:34:30 PM EST

I gather some people like Okra. I don't like Okra. One the other hand, I like Scrapple an awful lot, although I understand many people despise it. People don't all like the same things. There's nothing wrong with that.


Arrr, it be the infamous pirate, No Beard Pete!
[ Parent ]

I must admit... (4.00 / 1) (#126)
by synaesthesia on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 05:23:27 AM EST

...that to a certain extent you are right. Of all the mind-altering substances you can take, alcohol is one of the least rewarding. However, it does have its place.

Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
A few points (4.00 / 2) (#152)
by Anonymous 242 on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 07:20:16 PM EST

  1. Excellent as a muscle relaxant. A pint of beer or glass of wine helps ease muscle tension.
  2. Prevents heart disease. A single serving of ethanol every day helps prevent heart disease.
  3. Some forms (red wines, dark beers, etc.) also have the same type of bioflavinoids as green tea.
  4. Tastes great. At least when prepared correctly. While some people do subscribe to the belief that beer tastes so bad that the only point in drinking it is to get drunk, other people do enjoy the taste of different types of alcahol.


[ Parent ]
Re: A few points (4.00 / 2) (#176)
by gidds on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 01:00:21 PM EST

Excellent as a muscle relaxant.

So is a few slow, deep breaths and a smidgeon of self-awareness. Which is also considerably cheaper, quicker, more widely available, and doesn't prevent you driving :-p

Some forms... have the same type of bioflavinoids as green tea.

So does... well, I think you've answered your own question there!

Tastes great.

We obviously have different taste buds. I tried for a long while to like beer/ale/lager-type drinks, and never managed it. I don't mind cider, medium wines, and some spirits (e.g. Irish whiskey, vodka, Archer's), and I have quite a soft spot for Bailey's, but I don't like them enough to be worth the bother most of the time.

It was almost a moment of revelation a few years ago when I realised that alcohol wasn't making me feel good, and I didn't love the taste. I'd felt almost steam-rollered by an alcohol-permeated society into believing that it was and I did, that I just hadn't realised it or tried hard enough.

Now I've seen through that, I have a wonderful sense of freedom: I can take it or leave it, and I usually (though not always) choose the latter. What irritates me is people's perpetually surprised reaction. Many assume I must be TT, or have ideological objections. And there's still too much of the "Go on - be a man!" attitude about. I sometimes wonder if that's partly due to some people's own unconscious insecurities about alcohol, as if my drinking would somehow validate their own...

...Well, I thought this thread would generate some comments :)

Andy/
[ Parent ]

FWIW (4.00 / 2) (#163)
by celeriac on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 09:32:42 PM EST

Alcohol does very little for me as a "social lubricant" at least among strangers. It is kind of fun when drinking with friends though. It's also very nice for relieving muscle tension, which takes less than getting drunk.

You may have noticed how some "precision sports" such as bowling, pool, and darts always seem to be associated with alcohol. I think this is due to the muscle relaxant factor--there is a point about 5-10 minutes into your drink, where your muscles are loosening up, but your brain is still relatively unaffected, which allows you to perform better than normal. Of course it's all downhill from there.

It took a good deal of experimentation to flip my "beer switch," but I enjoy the taste now. The first beer I had that was neither too strong nor pissy-tasting was Rolling Rock, which I now find impressively bland. MGD is the least offensive of the American megabrews IMO.

[ Parent ]

Oh, how sad... (none / 0) (#166)
by seraph93 on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 11:16:24 PM EST

So you're saying that you can never enjoy a fine microbrew, or a nice neat dram of single malt scotch, or a glass of wine aged to perfection, or even some good old Tennessee sippin' whiskey? How very, very sad.

Is there something wrong with me that I don't seem to be able to get whatever magic benefit most people seem to get from it? Or does everyone else drink because they expect it to make them feel good, without it ever doing so?

No, there's nothing wrong with you, I just wish it weren't so. I think it would be wonderful if everyone shared my enthusiasm for fine liquors, but that doesn't make you wrong, not in the least. But I certainly don't drink just because I've been told it's good, I do so because I know it's good.

Take that dram of single malt, for example: The way it rolls around in the glass, and the colour of the light streaming through it; the aroma that sends vapours of joy curling through your brain like delicate music; the subtle complexities of flavour that intrigue and delight the tongue; and the warmth that follows the sip down your throat to your stomach, where it bursts forth in a radiant heat that slowly spreads to the very tips of your fingers and toes... Drinking good scotch (or any good alcohol) is an activity that indulges and entrances every one of your senses. Alas, drinking too much will paralyze your senses. Getting drunk is not the point of drinking fine alcohol. The point is the savouring of the drink itself.

So, to answer your question, no, people don't just drink because they expect it to make them feel good. They drink because they know it's good. There are so many vegetarians who will never be able to appreciate a perfectly grilled, tender, juicy steak, and so many people who will never understand how anyone could like something as hideously vile as scotch. It's not wrong. Everyone's entitled to their tastes and opinions. It's just kind of sad.
--
Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
[ Parent ]
Agreed (none / 0) (#167)
by zaxus on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 11:47:05 PM EST

Damn, now I need some scotch... :-)

---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
alcohol and steak! (none / 0) (#175)
by Attercop on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 12:27:31 PM EST

Inputs to the senses of touch, taste, and smell are not the meaning of life seraph :-) I fully acknowledge your appreciation of alcohol (and steak :-), and I think it's a lot better than most "piss-pots" out there. For me personally however, my mind is more important to me. Hey, I know one drink won't kill you, and red wine has been shown to be good for the heart etc. I don't demonise drink or anything like that, but I don't know if I would be like you if I tried alcohol, or if would turn into an alcoholic or what. I just don't like things messing with my mind. I don't know what I'm missing out on, and it doesn't bother me one bit! As for steak, that I can take a slightly stronger stance on! I don't care how good it tastes, I don't believe in taking an animals life just for the "taste". Sure, if I was starving.... or even if I was spending all day looking for food when I could get nourishment from an animal a lot more easily, I'd do it. But when I have absolutely no reason to take an animals life except because I want to taste its flesh, I can't justify that. I have access to more vegetables, grains, fruits, and animal products like milk/eggs than I could ever need, and (significant amounts of) research show I'm probably a lot better off health-wise to stick with these anyway! People come up with reasons to respect animals like "oh, they could be your reincarnated ancestors" or "they have souls too!". Whether that's true or not, I don't really need those reasons. Even if something is "just a chicken", I'd prefer to let it lead it's unintelligent little life if I can help it :-)

[ Parent ]
All good things of thought and sensation (none / 0) (#186)
by seraph93 on Sat Aug 23, 2003 at 11:04:19 PM EST

Inputs to the senses of touch, taste, and smell are not the meaning of life

No, but wouldn't life be terribly dull without them?

I don't know if I would be like you if I tried alcohol, or if would turn into an alcoholic or what.

I don't know either. Try it, or don't. It's up to you really. Either way, just stay within reason and I'm sure you'll be fine.

...my mind is more important to me.

I try not to semantically separate mind and body if I can help it, myself. All those physical sensations are ultimately filtered, processed, and assigned significance by the mind. But I understand what you're saying here. Mental stimulus is very important, of course, but not all mind-altering substances are detrimental to this, quite the opposite in fact. I find that a moderate amount of alcohol can really help loosen people's tongues and get some good discussions going that wouldn't have happened otherwise (on the other hand, too much and no one can form coherent sentences anymore). Also, be sure to ask the next hippie you meet how good music sounds before and after a couple of bong rips. The effects of other mind-altering chemicals on other mental stimuli I shall leave as an exercise for the reader.

I just don't like things messing with my mind.

I know what you mean here, too, but also consider how many non-chemical things can alter or "mess with" your mind. Really good sex, powerful literature, beautiful music... after experiencing any of these, can you say that your mind is not altered? I'd also venture to guess that without drunkenness or drug use to compare it to, you probably get much "higher on life" than us poor chem users. It's just a matter of taste, really. You just don't mix your music or reading or whatever with any *other* drugs. More power to you!

I don't believe in taking an animals life just for the "taste".

Now this is a whole new can o' worms. I was just using vegetarians not enjoying steak as a random example. I could have just as easily said that Catholic priests (theoretically at least) can never enjoy a good hummer (not the SUV). My take on the whole "Meat==Murder?" debate is this: What about the brutal murder of all the plants? As long as *something* has to die to feed me regardless, I'll go with whatever's tastiest. There are a lot of tasty vegetarian dishes out there, of course, but a well-prepared rack of lamb can bring me to the verge of tears, it's that good.

I suppose it's all just a matter of taste and preference, of course. Thanks for not getting all judgemental on me, and thanks for giving me an excuse to ramble for a bit (I was terribly bored).
--
Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
[ Parent ]
You forgot the other steps... (none / 0) (#148)
by eSolutions on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 05:35:59 PM EST

4) Watch black paint drip over the walls, flooding the room;
5) Befriend the merry little leprechans who magically appear to delight you with tales of fancy (and pleas for you to suicide-bomb protestants); and
6) Awake to find yourself suckling some trucker's testicle.

Yours in Christ,
eSolutions

----
Making periods more convenient -- one box at a time.
--Tampax Commercial
[ Parent ]

The other steps? (none / 0) (#165)
by seraph93 on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 10:36:43 PM EST

Um...those sound more like the final steps of too much absinthe, not too many martinis. Mmmmmm...absinthe...
--
Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
[ Parent ]
This one is nicer.. (4.00 / 2) (#23)
by ras on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 03:45:30 AM EST

Take a glass - fill it with ice, set it aside.

Fill a shaker with ice.
Add a shot of vermouth to the shaker.
Swirl it around for a few seconds.
Empty the shaker - but leave the ice!!
Add two shots of gin (Tanqueray or Bombay)
Swirl again.
Empty the glass of ice...and dump the contents of the shaker into the glass.

Serve with a lemon twist (or olive).

Obligatory Churchill quotation (5.00 / 7) (#26)
by edo on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 04:31:52 AM EST

Winston Churchill's recipe for the perfect Martini: "Glance at the vermouth bottle briefly while pouring the juniper distillate freely."

Alternatively, wave an unopened bottle of vermouth over the shaker.

(Sorry for the repost; should have been topical.)
-- 
Sentimentality is merely the Bank Holiday of cynicism.
 - Oscar Wilde

Just have some Vermouth in the house. [nt] (none / 0) (#31)
by Aemeth on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 06:12:22 AM EST


...mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.
Bertrand Russell


[ Parent ]
You beat me to it! (5.00 / 2) (#85)
by komet on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 02:36:02 PM EST

That's almost exactly what I was going to post. Anyway, one has to remember that Churchill lived 50 years ago, when technology was not yet at our level. I believe that nowadays, it's quite sufficient to pour a gin while viewing a vermouth website; can anyone comment on this?
--
Any technology which is distinguishable from magic is not sufficiently advanced.
[ Parent ]
Seems a waste (4.60 / 5) (#95)
by pmc on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 06:19:36 PM EST

On the basis of quantum indeterminancy there is a small but finite chance that there is some vermouth in the glass. Which seems sufficient.

[ Parent ]
Stirred martinis are stronger (5.00 / 1) (#27)
by SiMac on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 04:32:20 AM EST

Shaking bruises the ice, thus making the martini weaker. I dunno why James Bond likes his martinis weak, but he does.

Then again, I've never had a real martini.

To keep his head clear (Duh) [n/t] (4.00 / 2) (#28)
by Cloaked User on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 05:21:48 AM EST


--
"What the fuck do you mean 'Are you inspired to come to work'? Of course I'm not 'inspired'. It's a job for God's sake! The money's enough and the work's not so crap that I leave."
[ Parent ]
Bond made up for it (5.00 / 3) (#64)
by leviramsey on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 11:54:46 AM EST

By having both gin and vodka... IIRC, the "Vesper" is 3 parts gin, 1 part vodka, and 1/2 part Kina Lillet.



[ Parent ]
Why Bond had his "shaken, not stirred" (5.00 / 3) (#111)
by splitpeasoup on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 09:56:36 PM EST

Here's an excellent article from Straight Dope on why Bond liked his (gin+vodka) martinis "shaken, not stirred"; and why OTOH traditional (gin) martinis should be stirred rather than shaken.

The gist of it: In a vodka martini, cold is key: a vodka martini that is not ice-cold tastes like lighter fluid. So you shake them. The experience of a traditional martini is more dependent on it being smooth and on not ruining the delicate flavors of the gin. Ergo, one stirs it.

It's debatable whether Fleming had actually thought of all this when he quirkified his character, but it is certainly self-consistent logic.

Unlike the pseudo-scientific pseudo-hipsters on K5, the Straight Dope folks actually conducted a blind test to determine whether one could actually taste the difference between stirred and shaken martinis. The verdict: yes, easily.

-SPS

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
[ Parent ]

Okay...so you can tell... (none / 0) (#179)
by DDS3 on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 01:44:47 PM EST

...that there was a difference...which one was preferred?

[ Parent ]
<speech = "slurred"> (none / 0) (#182)
by Hillgiant on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 05:26:37 PM EST

hrm... not sure.... need more testing.

-----
"It is impossible to say what I mean." -johnny
[ Parent ]

damn (4.66 / 6) (#32)
by martingale on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 06:16:46 AM EST

I just realized they probably didn't have a fridge in the MASH swamp. Poor hawkeye and the gang :-(.

Fridge not totally neccessary... (none / 0) (#50)
by zaxus on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 10:26:30 AM EST

...but it makes a better martini if you have one. I feel for the MASH gang......

---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
I have a question (5.00 / 2) (#33)
by Talez on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 06:28:41 AM EST

Whats a dry martini?

Si in Googlis non est, ergo non est
What he described. (4.50 / 2) (#41)
by wumpus on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 09:06:00 AM EST

The more vermouth, the "wetter" the Martini. Of course there is sweet, dry and extra dry vermouth. I wouldn't use the sweet stuff in a martini, but I suppose it's possible.

Back in the 1920's, the typical mix was more vermouth than gin, and a dry mix was even. Lately, the "regular" martini is something like 2 parts gin to 1 part vermouth, and a dry martini is 3-4 parts gin to 1 part dry vermouth. Serious martini drinkers tend to avoid useing excess vermouth (as in the article).

One trick I tried was pouring out the brine that the olives are stored in and replacing it with vermouth. Good idea, but the martini still needs more vermouth.

I'll end with that immortal ditty
I'll have one martini
two at the most
three I'm under the table
four I'm under the host
--Dorthy Parker

Wumpus

[ Parent ]

good idea, but i like my martini dirty (1.00 / 2) (#103)
by joschi on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:12:57 PM EST

but not as dirty as most, i take 3 olives and a little splash of the juice usually... mmmm..

[ Parent ]
forgot url (1.00 / 2) (#104)
by joschi on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:13:38 PM EST

http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/3069

i dont think i could deal with it that dirty, but i guess some people like it...

[ Parent ]

If Googling your exact question answers it.. (2.25 / 4) (#42)
by McMasters on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 09:08:59 AM EST

Why even post it on these boards?

Before you ask any question, type it into a search engine. You might save everyone some time.

[ Parent ]

Great suggestion (5.00 / 7) (#83)
by Corey Haim on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 02:26:17 PM EST

If I ask Google "Why is McMasters such a fucking dick?", I am helpfully returned one of your K5 comments as the top result. After that, I don't need to ask.

[ Parent ]
ah... brilliant... (1.00 / 1) (#112)
by rmg on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 10:10:53 PM EST

what does SCO stand for? (notice last result on first page... booyah !!)

will you fix my mouse wheel?

wow, if only i had read your post before i asked those silly questions... i feel so embarassed.

_____ intellectual tiddlywinks
[ Parent ]

Head is spinning (4.00 / 3) (#34)
by fraise on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:21:28 AM EST

I am somewhat confused. Disclaimer: being American, I couldn't legally go to bars until age 21, and I turned 21 while in France, so everything I know about alcohol - apart from the wine we occasionally drank at home - I learned in France.

When you ask for a "Martini" here, you're given a glass of Martini (warning: Flash and music), usually you specify whether you want bianco or rosso (white or red). It's served on the rocks with a lemon wedge. What you describe sounds a like a Gibson with an olive, which you can find on the Martini site under "drinks". (Martini & Rossi is the same company, by the way.)

There are different brands of vermouth, but when you want one of those you ask for "vermouth". Martini always means Martini brand vermouth here. (Even phoned my boyfriend - he's French - and his cohorts to make sure I'm not imagining things. They've never heard of a Gibson-like drink being called a Martini.)

Re: Head is spinning (4.66 / 3) (#47)
by elemental on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 10:19:51 AM EST

What you describe sounds a like a Gibson with an olive

A martini is exactly a gibson with an olive. Or, rather, a gibson is a martini with a cocktail onion substituted for the olive. I believe the martini  came about first.

--
I love my country but I fear my government.
--> Contact info on my web site --


[ Parent ]
Gibson (none / 0) (#121)
by edo on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 02:58:37 AM EST

> A martini is exactly a gibson with an olive.

Actually, a Gibson is traditionally made with a little more vermouth than a Martini, and served in a slightly larger glass.
-- 
Sentimentality is merely the Bank Holiday of cynicism.
 - Oscar Wilde
[ Parent ]

Yup, Marini = Martini over here too :) <nt> (none / 0) (#74)
by Vesperto on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 01:20:42 PM EST



If you disagree post, don't moderate. Alimaniere forf
[
Parent ]
Dear Frenchmen, (4.75 / 4) (#97)
by Dr Martino Cortez PhD on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:01:44 PM EST

You, and your pathetic country have no claim to the word "Martini". We, as proud Americans, resent you stealing our beverage titles. As is known commonly, a Martini is 2/3 gin and 1/3 vermouth with one to three olives. No more, no less.

And while I am on the topic, it should be a crime to claim any beverage not containing the above to liquours a Martini. There is no Vodka "Martini" just as there is no Rum "Margerita" or Brandy "Manhattan".


--
Dr Martino Cortez PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright © 2001, 2002 and 2003, Martino Cortez and Associates. All rights reserved.
[ Parent ]

the martini is from cali, not france or itally (2.33 / 3) (#101)
by joschi on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:09:04 PM EST

http://www.cityofmartinez.org/community/martini.htm

'nuff said.  

i need more gin...

[ Parent ]

in most of europe (4.00 / 1) (#142)
by the sixth replicant on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 01:22:12 PM EST

a Martini comes from a single bottle and, nearly all, will be shoked and totally confused by the above discussion : "come on, just open the bottle..hey why are the olives in the glass??"

[ Parent ]
Small question: What does.... (none / 0) (#35)
by Gornauth on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:45:24 AM EST

....[i]Strain into the glass[/i] mean? Is it something different then pouring?

...sigh...wrong format [n/t] (none / 0) (#36)
by Gornauth on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:46:11 AM EST



[ Parent ]
Well, yeah! (4.00 / 1) (#39)
by porkchop_d_clown on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 08:19:11 AM EST

It means "use a strainer" - you don't want all that ice falling in your glass, do you?


--
You can't raise my prices. You can't build more power plants. You can't build more power lines. Why are my lights out!?!


[ Parent ]
And a strainer is? [n/t] (none / 0) (#40)
by Gornauth on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 08:41:22 AM EST



[ Parent ]
Like a sieve (4.50 / 2) (#45)
by curien on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 09:47:57 AM EST

Or a collinder. Or use whatever will prevent the ice from falling into the glass. "Strain" means to remove the liquid without removing the solid. How you accomplish this is up to you.

--
John Ashcroft hates me for my freedom.
[ Parent ]
Okay, thanks [n/t] (none / 0) (#46)
by Gornauth on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 10:12:39 AM EST



[ Parent ]
It's like a colander, but with an american accent. (none / 0) (#48)
by porkchop_d_clown on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 10:21:11 AM EST


--
You can't raise my prices. You can't build more power plants. You can't build more power lines. Why are my lights out!?!


[ Parent ]
Collanders and such... (4.00 / 1) (#115)
by Cplus on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 11:01:05 PM EST

Actually a strainer is a collander for drinks, you'll find that the terminology applies whether in America or Europe, possibly even other places. As for the Americans and their usage of strainers for rinsing their lettuce and draining their spaghetti...what can I say that hasn't already been implied?

I'm always dissapointed when I read sigs that aren't meaningful or funny.
[ Parent ]
American usage? Not in my neighborhood. (none / 0) (#130)
by porkchop_d_clown on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 08:28:13 AM EST

Strainers are only for drinks? Interesting. I've never heard that usage; absolutely everyone I've ever cooked with calls that big thing for draining water out of food a "strainer". Sieves are for prime numbers and "colander" is a book word I've never heard said out loud.


--
You can't raise my prices. You can't build more power plants. You can't build more power lines. Why are my lights out!?!


[ Parent ]
Re: Small Question... (5.00 / 1) (#57)
by zaxus on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 10:43:17 AM EST

Most shakers (at least here in the US) have a small seive or strainer at the top under the top cap. Thus, removing the cap and pouring through the lid of the shaker will seperate the liquid from the ice, which is what you want. Sorry for any confusion.

---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
Beefeaters. (5.00 / 1) (#37)
by blixco on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:49:31 AM EST

Damn fine gin, probably the only gin suitable for a martini. I've found, though, that once I got beyond the trendoid "just say the word vermouth over the glass" dry martinis, that the use of a good vermouth (Noilly Prat is the only good vermouth) in relatively small amounts (.25 to .5 oz per martini) made the entire drink much more palatable, much more food friendly, and much less annoying to create.
-------------------------------------------
The root of the problem has been isolated.
Salt in your martini (4.00 / 1) (#38)
by IHCOYC on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 08:04:58 AM EST

Remember that gin, like tequila, is a vegetable.

The most important thing about the olive(s) is to get a little bit of brine in the drink. Myself, I recommend capers, or the green olives with garlic cloves.

You can also do the margarita thing, and dip your frosted glass into pickle salt. You want a bit less salt on a martini glass than you do on a margarita, but having a little there adds something.
 --
Quod sequitur, sicut serica lucis albissima tingere rogant;
Quod sequitur, totum devorabit.

Me, I like gibsons... (none / 0) (#60)
by fn0rd on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 11:28:39 AM EST

but there's not much salt in a pickled onion. I'm going to try adding a tiny pinch of salt to my gibson.

--------------------------------------------------------------
This fatwa brought to you by the Agnostic Jihad
Death to the fidels!

[ Parent ]
Gin (none / 0) (#43)
by ChiefHoser on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 09:18:30 AM EST

Beefeater is a good gin, one of the best. If I have the money I usually try and get Tanqueray No. 10 (I think that is what it is called) I just tastes that much better that the extra cost is usually worth it.
-------------

Chief of the Hosers
Gin, Vodka,etc... (none / 0) (#58)
by Metatone on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 10:43:58 AM EST

Personally I've always found Tanqueray Ten makes a nice martini, and (probably in a minority of one here) Finlandia for Vodka martinis...

Normally though, I'm not in the mood for classic martinis and prefer a Vodka gimlet, but real lime juice (rather than icky sweet cordial) is a *must* to give it the refreshing touch.

Martinis are bullshit. (3.80 / 5) (#59)
by HypoLuxa on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 11:23:02 AM EST

Right up there with cigar bars and cobalt blue dress shirts. 1999 lifestyle marketing.

2k3 is all about Zombies and weed.

--
I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons.
- Leonard Cohen

Hell yeah! (5.00 / 2) (#62)
by Zombie Uday Hussein on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 11:42:29 AM EST

Hell yes, zombies love weed! "I don't do drugs. Only weed."

Zombizzle 2k3.

--
not ZOMBIE turkey. just turkey. maybe a little mayo.
[ Parent ]

No no no. (5.00 / 2) (#66)
by HypoLuxa on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 12:06:27 PM EST

Not zombies. I meant zombies.

Although I guess I really am down with all zombies - cocktail or corpsestyle.

--
I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons.
- Leonard Cohen
[ Parent ]

All you zombies... (none / 0) (#132)
by porkchop_d_clown on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 08:41:16 AM EST

hide your faces....


--
You can't raise my prices. You can't build more power plants. You can't build more power lines. Why are my lights out!?!


[ Parent ]
Not zombies.. (none / 0) (#181)
by Hillgiant on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 05:19:41 PM EST

because, I loathe the undead.

-----
"It is impossible to say what I mean." -johnny
[ Parent ]

Hey! I was wearing a.. (none / 0) (#131)
by porkchop_d_clown on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 08:39:47 AM EST

cobalt blue dress shirt way back in 1986! Of course, I refered to it as my "smurf shirt", but still...


--
You can't raise my prices. You can't build more power plants. You can't build more power lines. Why are my lights out!?!


[ Parent ]
Favorite M*A*S*H quote (5.00 / 8) (#68)
by regeya on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 12:28:15 PM EST

I'd like a dry martini, Mr. Quoc, a very dry martini. A very dry, arrid, barren, desiccated, veritable dustbowel of a martini. I want a martini that could be declared a disaster area. Mix me just such a martini. -- Hawkeye

[ yokelpunk | kuro5hin diary ]

Heh (4.00 / 3) (#69)
by ghjm on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 12:44:21 PM EST

dustbowel. snort.

-Graham

[ Parent ]

How about a drop of vermouth? (5.00 / 1) (#77)
by rujith on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 01:37:57 PM EST

It seems that people make a big deal about having just a hint of vermouth in the martini. The lesser, the better, apparently. In that case, why not just put a single drop of vermouth in the bottom of the glass, before pouring in the gin? - Rujith.

Well... (none / 0) (#94)
by zaxus on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 06:13:11 PM EST

It's difficult to get the eye-dropper to the bottom of the bottle. :-)

---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
There is some joke about how a person liked his... (none / 0) (#159)
by jforan on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 07:56:38 PM EST

martini - pour in the gin into your glass. Open the bottle of vermouth. Place it next to the glass. Drink the gin. Or something like that. I couldn't find it on google. Someone help? Jeff
I hops to be barley workin'.
[ Parent ]
It's a well-known method (none / 0) (#188)
by grzebo on Sun Aug 24, 2003 at 09:20:14 AM EST

"Glance at the vermouth bottled briefly while pouring the juniper distillate freely." -- Winston Churchill


"My God, shouts man to Himself,
have mercy on me, enlighten me"...
[ Parent ]
that's really not the same thing (4.80 / 5) (#79)
by Delirium on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 01:45:24 PM EST

A martini is a mixture of gin and vermouth. The amount can vary, but there should be a significant quantity of vermouth in there in order to qualify as a "mixture". What you're describing sounds a lot more like "gin in a martini glass, with an olive," and I doubt the tiny bit of vermouth coating the glass makes any more than a psychological difference.

And I'm not sure how the vodka fits into this. Vodka in a martini glass isn't a martini either, even if it has an olive.

Not that there's anything wrong with gin and ice, but it's something different than a martini.

Bobo-Chichi Preferences from an ex-bartender (5.00 / 9) (#80)
by LairBob on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 01:46:31 PM EST

Vermouth: Noilly Prat Dry...much better than M&R, IMNSHO

Vodka: Luksosowa...distilled from potatoes, really nice clean, flavor, and dirt cheap compared to the Ketel One/Belvedere/Grey Gooses of the world. Much better in a Martini than Absolut or Stoli, I think. (Stoli is the best vodka in the world for straight shots, though, since keeping your head still after you down a shot of Stoli is the true separation test of mice from men. Martinis shouldn't make your head shake and your chin tuck into your chest--it's just not dignified.)

Gin: Beefeater...once again, the best choice is definitely not the most expensive one

Garnish: Tiny cocktail onion, or a lemon peel

Icing Technique: Shaken will get it much colder, but crushed ice is a two-edged sword--for every thermodynamic unit your martini gets colder, the ice gets warmer, and you end up with a noticeably diluted drink.

Vermouth Technique: "In and out", either in the glass, or over the ice. (When I was a high-school teacher, the headmaster of the school was a minister, and a martini fanatic. His preferred technique was called a "Bless You" martini, where you just wave the bottle of vermouth over the glass.)


One broader, more sober (if you will), point:
Again, drawing from my bartending background, I've got to admit that the cynics on this thread are right--I love 'em, but the classic American martini really is just a well-refined technique to pound alcohol, as civilly as possible, but as quickly as possible. The vermouth--even just a little bit--takes the edge off, so you can drink it without the head-quivering grimace you would have if you were drinking straight out of the bottle.

Nevertheless, you are practically drinking alcohol straight out of the bottle, and your body metabolizes the alcohol much differently than it does a beer or a glass of wine. It is scarily easy to overdo it with martinis, in a single night, or over a long period of time. No matter how impressed you are with your own tolerance, you are not fit to drive for a good chunk of time after you've had just one of these delicious drinks, and if you have 2 or 3 a night, that's not the same as "just having a couple of beers". Just be careful.

My Bog, that's brilliant! (none / 0) (#81)
by LilDebbie on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 01:51:59 PM EST

I'm going to start using that "Bless You" technique for my martinis. Does it work better if the seal on the bottle is unbroken? I always thought the Vermouth was disgusting, but necessary. Now I know the good Lord blesses a straight gin drink!

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
Re: Your More Sober Point (none / 0) (#93)
by zaxus on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 06:07:42 PM EST

My last couple of martinis were in a high-falutin' hotel bar. Fantastic martinis. I had 2. In about 1/2 hour. At 6pm. I was sloshed for the ENTIRE EVENING. Certainly unfit to drive. Still sloshed at dinner a 9pm. Sill sloshed in our room at 11pm. I was totally obliterated.

In other words, be careful out there, boys and girls! :-)


---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
CowboyNeal (4.00 / 1) (#86)
by Silent Chris on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 04:06:01 PM EST

Who's he?  (Watch as dozens come to rectify my apparent stupidity).

from slashdot.org (none / 0) (#106)
by Suppafly on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:27:59 PM EST


---
Playstation Sucks.
[ Parent ]
Uh, duh (none / 0) (#137)
by Silent Chris on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 10:12:43 AM EST

You win the gullability award.

[ Parent ]
For what it's worth (none / 0) (#108)
by Greener on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:56:50 PM EST

The traditional K5 joke poll option was always Inoshiro who for a time was Rusty's right hand man.

[ Parent ]
Applespank's martini recipe (4.75 / 4) (#88)
by applespank on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 05:23:56 PM EST

Put bottle of gin in freezer until it's cold, but not stupidly cold (if it has the consistency of corn syrup, it's stupidly cold).

Get a shot glass.

Pour cold gin into shot glass.

Drink gin from shot glass.

Repeat last two steps as necessary, maybe eating an olive once in a while.

That's as much of a "martini" as the recipe above.

No vodka, thank you (5.00 / 3) (#90)
by blacksqr on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 05:57:57 PM EST

Merely suggesting that a Martini be made with vodka erases your credibility on this topic.  The Martini is a gin drink.  Serving a vodka drink in a Martini glass does not make it a Martini, marketing hype notwithstanding.

The secret to a properly-made Martini is that it must be served very cold, thus producing an aesthetically-pleasing cascade of sensations, starting with the pure cold, followed by the bite of the gin, rounded out by the mellow glow of the vermouth.

The purpose of a Martini, like all good cocktails, is to introduce the drinker to a short-lived, ephemeral world in which he is invited to savor the moment.  The Martini should be served so cold that tiny ice slivers are formed on the surface, not only for the flavor sensation, but to introduce the proper note of ephemerality.

Thus the Martini is properly shaken, not stirred.  Stirred Martinis are prepared in pitchers and consumed by old ladies who want to get drunk on gin in the name of having their afternoon cocktail.

The Martini CONTAINS VERMOUTH.  If your Martini doesn't contain vermouth, it's not a Martini and you're too drunk on gin to notice the difference.  All the comments about waving the vermouth bottle over the shaker etc. ARE JOKES, made when public drunkenness was considered funny.  If you want to swirl the glass with vermouth, fine, but don't dump it: pour it into the shaker.  If you want to pour the soul of the drink down the drain, fine, but don't call the result a Martini, and don't invite me over for cocktails.

------
Steve Huntley
http://antipode.us/blosxom

Oh lighten up! (5.00 / 1) (#91)
by zaxus on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 06:03:08 PM EST

Have a Martini!

---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
Dammit, that's Vesper not Vespa. (5.00 / 1) (#100)
by SnowBlind on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:08:43 PM EST

A vespa being fine italian scooter...

There is but One Kernel, and root is His Prophet.
[ Parent ]
The "vodka martini" properly called (5.00 / 1) (#99)
by SnowBlind on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:04:30 PM EST

the Vespa, is a product of Smirnoff vodka sponsering the James Bond Movies. The orginal books have him ordering a Vespa, but Smirnoff wanted to use martini, because it tested better and had bette rname recognition with viewers.

P.S. you NEVER shake gin, it adds too much oxygen to the mixture. You do pour it over shaved ice, to produce a very cold martini.

As for his choice in vodka, blech. Try Monopolowa Vodka, available from Trader Joe's. A very good true potato grain vodka that runs under $10 a bottle, or about $12 from BevMo. Good stuff when really cold.

There is but One Kernel, and root is His Prophet.
[ Parent ]
But the "Vesper" is is still mostly Gin (none / 0) (#157)
by pugfantus on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 07:45:31 PM EST

As stated in Casino Royale: "`A dry Martini,' he said. `One. In a deep champagne goblet.' `Oui, Monsieur.' `Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large slice of lemon-peel. Got it?'" It's named after the double agent Vesper Lynd.

[ Parent ]
How about the Appletini? (5.00 / 1) (#135)
by Karmakaze on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 09:32:54 AM EST

I can't wait to hear your rant on that one.

Who wants an Apple Martini, kids?  Made with Pucker!
--
Karmakaze
[ Parent ]

Amen. (5.00 / 1) (#146)
by stinkwrinkle on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 05:13:34 PM EST

You, sir, are a man after my own heart. I must point out, however, that the minor blasphemy of a vodka martini is NOTHING compared to the modern trend of throwing some fruity drink in a martini glass, and diluting it 50:50 with well vodka. Gag.

[ Parent ]
The Real Martini (4.66 / 3) (#96)
by Zach Garner on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 06:50:23 PM EST

Martini should be made with Gin. You can have a Vodka Martini, but it's only related to a real Martini in the sense that the "Russian Mafia" is related to the real Mafia (i.e. no relation if you know anything about either). Martinis, being clear, should be stirred, not shaken. Bond doesn't know anything (and don't get me started on his watch) If you want straight Gin in a Martini glass, say so. Only recently in Martini's history have people been thinking that a Martini meant just some allusion to Vermouth. Vermouth is an essential part of a Martini, don't think looking at the Vermouth bottle while drinking counts as mixing a Martini.

Originally... (5.00 / 2) (#138)
by Mr. Penguin on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 11:44:31 AM EST

Bond ordered his martinis "stirred, not shaken" [see Casino Royale by Ian Fleming]. It's my understanding that Connery flubbed the line when he made the first movie, nobody really caught it, and it's stuck ever since.

Unfortunately, that's meant that millions of people have been ordering their martinis the wrong way for thirty years.



[ Parent ]
That's very interesting [nt] (none / 0) (#141)
by Zach Garner on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 12:59:38 PM EST



[ Parent ]
Doesn't roll off the tongue (none / 0) (#173)
by philwise on Thu Aug 21, 2003 at 02:34:15 PM EST

I'd understood that "stired not shaken" became "shaken not stirred" because the former doesn't sound right when spoken aloud. I believe "stired not shaken" was also meant to be a statement about Bond's character.
--
(presenter) "So, altogether now, what are we?"
(audience) "We are all Free Thinkers."
[ Parent ]
Skyy Vodka is for pussies named Jeff that (2.25 / 8) (#102)
by to0gle on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:12:14 PM EST

live in Hunington Beach and drive PT Cruisers.

Fag.

the one true gin (3.40 / 5) (#105)
by joschi on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 07:20:26 PM EST

http://www.bombaysapphire.com/

dont mess around

Bombay Regular (5.00 / 1) (#119)
by epepke on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 01:27:33 AM EST

I never could get into the Sapphire; it tastes too medicinal for me, too much like Tanqueray. The regular Bombay, however, makes a fine martini, though few bars have it.


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
i can see that (1.00 / 1) (#120)
by joschi on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 02:45:02 AM EST

but i guess thats what i like about it, since i also like tanqueray too :)

[ Parent ]
Well if you like Tanqueray, (none / 0) (#155)
by pugfantus on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 07:33:27 PM EST

I suggest you try Tanqueray 10. Extermely smooth and flavorful.

[ Parent ]
The great expensive vodka ripoff (4.00 / 1) (#114)
by splitpeasoup on Tue Aug 19, 2003 at 10:34:58 PM EST

Traditionally, vodka makers added congeners to mask the flavors of impurities. Vodka, ideally, is not supposed to have congeners at all. It is supposed to be a "grain neutral spirit", i.e. a mixture of ethanol and water and nothing else.

Thus, all expensive vodkas are either the same as diluted Everclear, or else have congeners in addition to ethanol and water and thus do not meet the definition of a pure vodka in the first place.

So are expensive vodkas just a massive ripoff? It certainly appears that way to me. However, not being a vodka drinker myself, I am looking for more enlightened answers.

-SPS

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

potato vs grain (5.00 / 3) (#117)
by horny smurf on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 12:45:26 AM EST

There is a common misconception that most, if not all, vodkas are made from potatoes. In fact, 99% of vodkas in the world are distilled from grain - corn, wheat, or rye - using the least costly grain available.

In the United States, most vodkas are made in industrial alcohol plants operated by the major grain processors. This alcohol is sold to industrial users of ethanol, as well as to the alcoholic beverage industry for use as a blending spirit or, after filtration and dilution with water, as vodka. Virtually all of these grain vodkas are diluted with water that is distilled or chemically treated.

Of course, this comes from a producer of potato vodka.

[ Parent ]
um (none / 0) (#149)
by tps12 on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 06:24:26 PM EST

I think the "grain" in "grain neutral spirit" refers to "grain alcohol," which is just the normal way of saying "ethanol" and has nothing to do with from where the alcohol was derived.

[ Parent ]
Actually, no (none / 0) (#194)
by epepke on Tue Aug 26, 2003 at 06:47:25 PM EST

It doesn't seem to be so true any more, but back in the 1980's there were lots of sugar-derived Vodkas that were advertised as being produced from "Cane neutral spirits." One shot of these was often enough to produce a week-long hangover. (I'm only slightly exaggerating.) So I got into the habit, when broke and thirsty, of always looking for the word "grain."

On the other hand, I don't understand why rum, which is made from sugar products, doesn't have this evil property. Aguardiente, which is also from sugar products, still does.


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
More expensive = more pure (none / 0) (#154)
by PowerPimp on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 07:28:21 PM EST

The cheap stuff has impurities which give it the bad taste. Even everclear is not distilled in the careful conditions that make grey goose so smooth. Very few alcohols are, as those other flavors are masked by much stronger ones. What makes expensive vodka expensive is the purity.


You'd better take care of me God; otherwise, you'll have me on your hands...
[ Parent ]
Seems unlikely... (4.00 / 1) (#162)
by splitpeasoup on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 09:12:09 PM EST

...I would guess that you could obtain high purity ethanol manufactured for laboratory or clinical use at a fraction of the price of Grey Goose (even discounting the tax difference).

-SPS

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
[ Parent ]

Vodkas (none / 0) (#160)
by Kadin2048 on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 08:52:35 PM EST

Most vodkas start off as the same thing, post-distillation: a mixture of ethanol, water, and impurities. The real difference between cheap vodka and expensive vodka is the level of filtration.

A cheap vodka (e.g. Orloff Vodka, $10.99/1.75L) has little to no finishing and tastes like lighter fluid. What you pay for is time-consuming filtering and more controlled distillation. In general, the more filtering, the "smoother" the result. However, brands leave in a certain amount of impurities on purpose so they have a distinctive taste. Vodka is subtle--too much distillation or filtering, and you'll have aqueous ethanol: Everclear. Too little and you have something that tastes like an industrial solvent: Orloff (IMO).

I've tried most of the upscale brands (Grey Goose, Ketel One, Absolut, Stolichnaya, Skyy, et al), and my personal favorite is Finlandia. It's very smooth, with a clean taste. I normally drink it neat, well-chilled. I'm not big on cocktails, but occasionally have a Gimlet. I make it by mashing a lime round in the bottom of a highball glass with a spoon, with just a pinch of sugar, then adding a few ice cubes and covering with vodka.

One brand I'd like to try, but haven't had any success in finding, is Kryshtal Charodei--has anyone ever tried it and care to comment?

[ Parent ]

My Perfect Martini... (5.00 / 4) (#122)
by Pervy Hobbit Fancier on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 03:27:56 AM EST

1) Half-fill the shaker with crushed ice. Put the olives in the shaker.

2) Pour a small quantity of Vermouth into a room-temparature glass and swill it around. Tip away the excess.

3) Pour a large quantity of Gin into the shaker.

4) Shake well for a minute or two.

5) Pour the contents of the shaker into the glass, straining out the ice.

6) Throw the whole lot away and have a Black Russian (Vodka, Kahlua and Coke, or - if you're a bit pikey - Vodka, Tia Maria and Coke) instead because Gin and Vermouth both taste like lighter fluid.

7) Alternately, for a quicker and less expensive drink, simply miss out steps 1-5.

Heh (5.00 / 1) (#123)
by edo on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 04:21:56 AM EST

You remind me of Samuel Johnson's take on cucumbers:

"A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing."
-- 
Sentimentality is merely the Bank Holiday of cynicism.
 - Oscar Wilde
[ Parent ]

Coke?!? (5.00 / 2) (#124)
by kvan on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 04:47:32 AM EST

A Black Russian is 2 parts vodka to 1 part kahlua, and no coke. If you want to add anything to your Black Russian, I suggest making it a White one by adding some cream.

"Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, most do." - Bertrand Russell


[ Parent ]
Agreed, no Coke in any colour of Russian (4.50 / 2) (#164)
by seraph93 on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 10:30:31 PM EST

If you want to add anything to your Black Russian, I suggest making it a White one by adding some cream.

...or make it a Blonde Russian by adding Irish Cream instead of plain old non-alcoholic cream.

{Black,Blonde} Russians are great to order if you're at a bar that tends to water down the drinks. They're rather palatable and impossible to dilute. It goes like this:

"Wow, you sure finished that one quickly!"
"Well, maybe it would have taken me longer if there had been some liquor in it. Black Russian, please."
--
Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
[ Parent ]
some more detail for those you that are interested (5.00 / 2) (#127)
by j0s)( on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 05:50:57 AM EST

to me, a martini is a drink served in a martini glass that is a mixture of alcohol and vermouth.

first, a nitpick, you are never supposed to shake alcohol, it should always be stirred. shaking "bruises" the alcohol. I dont make this stuff up, i just learn from the snobby alcoholics/bartenders.

second, against what a small portion of people here are saying, i enjoy vodka to gin. i dont think using vodka disqaulifies the drink as a "martini". someone further down posted about expensive vodkas. ill elaborate. essentially, vodka is pure grain alcohol, from potato or certain wheats. it just depends on the maker, but the alcohol is clear, unlike whiskey, the american grain alcohol. the vodka is distilled, the more times the better quality and the smoother the taste i find, to almost pure. pure is 200 proof, or 100% alcohol. then the alcohol is "cut" with water. again, the better the water, the smoother the taste. i find smirnoff to be obnoxious, absolut to have a bite and off smell, stoli (stolichnaya) and skyy to be excellent for the price ($12-15). grey goose is like a more expensive, slightly smoother version of those, belvedere, made popular by hip hop stars is excellent, but my personal favorite is belvedere's cousin, Chopin. thats my drink of choice ($30-35). of course, go to a club and expect to pay $100 and up for any of those three.

gin is made from the berries of the juniper bush, which i find ironic since most juniper bushes smell like cat piss. thank louis (i dont remember which number, google for it), the king of france for coming up with that one. he wanted it to be like a wine, and thats what he got, an extremele fragrant drink. i find most are similar, but the more you spend, the smoother the drink. tangueray 10, beefeater, bombay sapphire, all excellent.

chilling glasses, and the alcohol is always a good idea. the authors method of .25 to .50 ounce vermouth swirled to coat the glass and discarded is the "upscale" technique. the easy way is just to put .25 to .50 ounces and then the alcohol on top.

the martini defaults to gin unless "called" vodka by saying vodka martini. the classic is gin and dry vermouth, there is the sweet martini, in which you substitute sweet vermouth for dry vermouth but thats not done very often and i dont recommend it, and served with olives. the gibson is gin (can be called vodka) and dry vermouth, and served with pearl onions. the gimlet, vodka and lime juice (call fresh lime juice) and dry vermouth. "dirty" martini, gin (call vodka), olive juice, dry vermouth. the manhattan, the only martini not made with gin or vodka. the manhattan is whiskey or bourbon and sweet vermouth. you can call a dry manhattan in which you substitute dry vermouth, or "the perfect manhattan" in which you use 1/2 sweet and 1/2 dry vermouth, and whiskey or bourbon. of course theres the cosmopolitan, vodka, lime juice, triple sec, and cranberry juice. some really good variations come from using chambord. and the ever popular (thanks hip hop culture) appletini, vodka and apple pucker.

some places to learn more - http://cocktails.about.com/library/recipes/blmartinimenu.htm
http://drinks.glowport.com/
and my personal favorite - http://www.webtender.com

-- j0sh



We invented it, not the French! (5.00 / 1) (#136)
by edo on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 09:59:03 AM EST

> gin is made from the berries of the juniper
> bush, which i find ironic since most juniper
> bushes smell like cat piss. thank louis (i dont
> remember which number, google for it), the king
> of france for coming up with that one.

I don't know where you got that from, but as far as I know, the Dutch invented gin.
-- 
Sentimentality is merely the Bank Holiday of cynicism.
 - Oscar Wilde
[ Parent ]

On Gin (none / 0) (#161)
by Kadin2048 on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 09:07:33 PM EST

Just to clear up a common misconception concerning gin:
Gin isn't actually made from juniper berries, it's just flavored with them. It's principally distilled from wheat and barley (and maybe corn also) just like modern vodka. The juniper berries are flavoring. They were originally added to make the whole mess more palatable.
Reference: http://www.cocktailtimes.com/dictionary/history_gin.shtml

[ Parent ]
From the vodka tonic standpoint... (none / 0) (#172)
by psxndc on Thu Aug 21, 2003 at 02:19:05 PM EST

Chopin rocks. I was turned on to vodka tonics by a friend and was initiated with grey goose. It was so smooth i couldn't believe it (being that in college most of my experience with vodka was Odessa *shudder*). I stayed with grey goose for a long time until a self-proclaimed vodka snob friend suggested Chopin. I was told by others Chopin is too boutiquey, but whatever, they're my tatse buds. Let me tell you, Chopin is the best. Now mind you it's harder to find in a bar than the goose so the goose is a fine substitute, but if you can get Chopin, I recommend it.

-p

[ Parent ]

james bond has a lot to answer for (none / 0) (#185)
by massivefubar on Sat Aug 23, 2003 at 09:36:04 PM EST

Martinis should indeed be stirred not shaken but after decades of movie propaganda, you and I are fighting one of civilization's lost causes. Even very fine restaurants these days are often guilty of shaking their martinis.

[ Parent ]
a West Wing episode addressed this... (none / 0) (#189)
by ceejayoz on Sun Aug 24, 2003 at 08:37:48 PM EST

Bartlet: Can I tell you what's messed up about James Bond?
Charlie: Nothing.
Bartlet: Shaken, not stirred, will get you cold water with a dash of gin and dry vermouth. The reason you stir it with a special spoon is so not to chip the ice. James is ordering a weak martini and being snooty about it.

[ Parent ]
As if martinis REALLY need to be stronger :-) [nt] (none / 0) (#199)
by zaxus on Fri Sep 05, 2003 at 11:02:32 AM EST


---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
200 proof nitpick (none / 0) (#198)
by GeneticFreek on Thu Sep 04, 2003 at 07:21:22 PM EST

You are indeed correct that 200 proof alcohol is 100% pure, but you will not get there just by distillation. Once you reach 190 proof (95%), the water and ethanol boil off at the same rate (azeotrope) and you can't get any purer.

If you want greater purity (190-200 proof), you can achieve this by adding benzene and then distilling. The benzene and water will boil off together, leaving the ethanol. Even at "200 proof," however, there will still be traces of benzene, which is of course very poisonous and carcinogenic.

[ Parent ]

hardware / software ;) (none / 0) (#128)
by muyuubyou on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 07:37:17 AM EST

Hardware: Shaker (preferably metal, although plastic will work too) Large Martini Glass Refrigerator (seems obvious, I know, but it's important) Olive Spear 6 oz Gin or Vodka A splash of Dry Vermouth Olives (1 to 3 is traditional) or Lemon Peel Ice (cubes will work, crushed is better) Software: Method and proportions


----------
It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure - Horace, Epistles
Vodka (4.00 / 3) (#133)
by CaptainSuperBoy on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 08:51:44 AM EST

My god.. thirteen of you people are absolutely insane. Martinis don't have vodka in them. Martinis don't have vodka in them. MARTINIS DO NOT HAVE VODKA!

I feel better now.

--
jimmysquid.com - I take pictures.

duh... (5.00 / 1) (#139)
by pheta on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 12:29:48 PM EST

vodka martinis do!

[ Parent ]
No (3.66 / 3) (#171)
by CaptainSuperBoy on Thu Aug 21, 2003 at 10:26:36 AM EST

If it has vodka in it, it shouldn't be called a martini. I'm a purist I guess. Call it vodka, neat.

--
jimmysquid.com - I take pictures.
[ Parent ]
Interesting fact... (none / 0) (#177)
by DDS3 on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 01:14:35 PM EST

...the whole concept of vodka in a martini came from a manufacturer that bought product placements in a James Bond movie, many moons ago. It caught on because people wanted to be cool, just like 007. Just the same, real martinis are not supposed to have vodka in them. Rather, real martini's use gin. So, take your pick. Use gin, which most people seem to agree is great for martinis, or, use vodka and buy into commercial programming on the masses. Much of this, and much more, is covered on Food Network. I don't remember which show it was, but it was interesting.

[ Parent ]
Vodka! (none / 0) (#183)
by phliar on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 05:47:24 PM EST

My drink of choice is a good gin or vodka, chilled. No need for vermouth or olives or anything. However, I don't call them martinis -- that just confuses the bartender, and I run the risk of having stuff I don't want in my drink. I ask for it in the martini glass (indicated by "up" around here) because I like its shape. (I try not to have more than one double or, as other have noted, I'm done for the duration.)

Faster, faster, until the thrill of...
[ Parent ]

Things change (none / 0) (#192)
by nebbish on Tue Aug 26, 2003 at 10:53:25 AM EST

And the appearance of martinis made with vodka are one of those changes. Relax, it doesn't affect your gin martinis.

---------
Kicking someone in the head is like punching them in the foot - Bruce Lee
[ Parent ]

PC? (2.75 / 8) (#134)
by jotango on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 09:23:14 AM EST

Instead of Bombay Sapphire, please call it Mumbai Sapphire. Bombay Sapphire is colonialist, and definitely not PC.

When you've had a few too many, start going on Mumbai Safaris with your friends.

Get the label reprinted (5.00 / 2) (#190)
by DodgyGeezer on Sun Aug 24, 2003 at 09:41:54 PM EST

Until they reprint the label, you'll just sound like a pretentious tit.

[ Parent ]
My 2 quirks (5.00 / 1) (#140)
by Finnur on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 12:52:54 PM EST

A bartender once told me...
...never touch the olives, you don´t want the fat of your fingers in the drink, totaly spoils it.

Use dense frosen icecubes, not crushed.
...you could just as well poure water into your martini.

...and to those of you dissing Martini lovers, you guys are missing out, and you will probabily grow up to be Martini drinking Men one day.



olives have fat (none / 0) (#151)
by CrazyJub on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 06:35:03 PM EST

they leave a film on the liquid (olive oil anyone) and greatly effect the taste and texture. Ketel One developed Tom Olives for this very purpose, they are pickled green tomatoes and are highly addictive.

[ Parent ]
Smooth gin (4.50 / 2) (#144)
by Rhodes on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 02:19:28 PM EST

Try plymouth gin- anything else is varnish.

Fuck you all, I'm having a gin and tonic. (4.80 / 5) (#145)
by Russell Dovey on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 03:43:39 PM EST

And then I'm going out to hunt lions.

"Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light." - Spike Milligan

I don't know about you... (none / 0) (#147)
by craigd on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 05:31:32 PM EST

but I'm a little weirded out by any drink that glows in the dark.


A man who says little is a man who speaks two syllables.
[ Parent ]
Good to keep the malaria down, what? (none / 0) (#153)
by PowerPimp on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 07:21:41 PM EST

The British had all the good excuses to drink, but then again, the Americans had prohibition to inspire all our cool cocktail names.


You'd better take care of me God; otherwise, you'll have me on your hands...
[ Parent ]
A vodka martini (4.00 / 1) (#150)
by CrazyJub on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 06:33:23 PM EST

does not have any Vermouth, it's just Vodka. If you go into a bar and ask for a "Martini" you'll get the Gin and vermouth mix. If you do opt for a Vodka Martini, not all Vodka's are the same. I prefer Iceberg to the rest, it's the same price as all the other vodkas, and it was rated a close second to Grey Goose. Oh yeah, it's made from real Icebergs...freaky!

First of all, (4.00 / 1) (#158)
by jforan on Wed Aug 20, 2003 at 07:48:58 PM EST

at least in the US, martini, although defaulting to a gin martini straight up with olives, refers also to any chilled medium-to-high-alcohol-content beverage served in a martini glass.  On the rocks, it can refer to any 80 proof alcohol that could reasonably be served over ice with a small amount of Martini & Rossi (vermouth) e.g. gin, vodka, whiskey, or brandy.  (The latter two are more commonly referred to as Manhattans when mixed with vermouth, I believe.)

Although a nice Hendricks, Junipero, Bombay Sapphire, or Tanq 10 - with olives (also try with an onion) - straight up is quite good, my sweet/caffeinated/alcoholic tooth has recently enjoyed espresso martinis (which became popular a few years ago with the proliferation of espresso machines at nice restaurants and bars.)

Ingredients:
1.5 shots espresso
1 shot Stoli Banil (perhaps other new vanilla vodkas would work as well)
1/3 shot Creme de Cacao
1/3 shot Kalua
1/2 shot Bailey's

If you don't have an espresso maker, Starbuck's now sells the double-shot of espresso with cream (hopefully creamless soon) in grocery stores (at least those around the Boston area).  Use much less Bailey's if the espresso is pre-creamed.  The Starbuck's double shot actually conains about 3 bar shots of espresso, so double the ingredients listed above and make two servings.

How about some more of people's favorite foofy martini recipies.  Cosmo anyone?

Jeff

I hops to be barley workin'.

My uncle's martini recipie (none / 0) (#168)
by treefrog on Thu Aug 21, 2003 at 06:21:19 AM EST

Take one bottle of gin. Mix yourself a G & T. Top the bottle up with vermouth, and add a slice of lemon peel. Put the top back on, upend gently once or twice to start the mixing, and place in the freezer for 24 hours.

Now go drink...

regards, treefrog
Twin fin swallowtail fish. You don't see many of those these days - rare as gold dust Customs officer to Treefrog

Re: My uncle's martini recipie (none / 0) (#169)
by zaxus on Thu Aug 21, 2003 at 10:04:47 AM EST

Sounds interesting! I'll have to try this.

---
"If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan


[ Parent ]
Shake the living crap out of it. (none / 0) (#170)
by jabber on Thu Aug 21, 2003 at 10:15:49 AM EST

Yes, this is key to a smooth martini. Not only for the chilling (I keep my vodka and gin in the freezer anyway) but for the oxygenation. Properly shaken, the alcohol will pour out of the shaker a little cloudy - due to the miniature air bubbles the shaking forces into the liquid. This clears up quickly, but the smoothness lasts. Aerated and "bruised" booze just tastes better.

Some people prefer their martini stirred, as the taste does vary. So try it both ways and choose your favorite, but remember, you'll never be a secret agent if you take your martini stirred. And, really, if your bartender is an attractive woman, which would you rather she made you?

For flavoring, I like mine "dirty". Adding a few olives to the shaker, and pulverizing them with the ice in the process of shaking, does this nicely. For sweeter martinis, use about 25% De Kuyper Pucker of the flavor of your choice along with the vodka. For vodka, I suggest Wyborowa, blue label Stoli, or Ketel One. Wyborowa is, by far the smoothest I've had, and leaves no discernible aftertaste. Gin is a matter of taste. Beefeater is strong and pungent, Bombay Saphire is sweet and delicate, and the others fall in between.

[TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"

Shaking (none / 0) (#174)
by wadam on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 11:05:54 AM EST

For vodka martinis, shaking and olives are fine (since, as far as I'm concerned, vodka is crap anyway), but for gin, stirred and a twist is definitely best. This is because when you shake gin in a martini shaker, the ice tends to melt a little bit more than if you stir it, and the unfortunate consequence of that is that your martini ends up watery. If you've ever noticed, restaurant martini's are often watery. That's because they're shaken. Ick. So my martini method, then, is to pour a bit of vermuth in the class, swirl it, toss it, pour my gin in a shaker with ice, stir it, and pour (you'll note that my personal taste shies away from either olives or a twist). Best martinis are made that way.

wadam.

[ Parent ]
Freeze! (none / 0) (#180)
by jabber on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 05:12:21 PM EST

If you're a gin drinker, and don't like it watery, I'm surprised you don't just keep the gin on ice, and forgo the shaker and stiring entirely.

Although, just the other day I had cracked a glass by pouring the freezered gin into it before the tonic. Give and take, I guess.

[TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"
[ Parent ]

Shame (none / 0) (#178)
by Hillgiant on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 01:40:05 PM EST

Vermouth is a terrible thing to do to vodka.

Friends don't let friends make martinis.

-----
"It is impossible to say what I mean." -johnny

a couple ideas. (none / 0) (#184)
by czernobog on Fri Aug 22, 2003 at 08:40:05 PM EST

Typically, I take my booze neat. But there are a couple martinis I'll drink.

I like your recipe except for the vermouth.... I'll use cointreau or lillet.

The Vespers recipe I learned was a Lillet rinsed cold glass. 1 Part Gin (Tanq 10 or Citadelle) and 2 parts Vodka (Thor's Hammer is what I tend to use) Shaken with a twist.

My froofy drink concession was called a Mikhail, and was served at the local martini bar, Elliot's. 2 Parts Coffee Stoli 1 part Vanilla Stoli shaken, with 3 espresso beans for garnish.

czernobog

My Martini Rules (4.00 / 1) (#187)
by autonomous on Sat Aug 23, 2003 at 11:09:22 PM EST

1) Vodka martini's require very good vodka. You'll need to go troll the import sections, find something that is 150 proof, russian, and breaks your bank account. You must then serve it wickedly cold, turn your freeze down until the little knob doesn't go down anymore. Put the bottle in there and leave it (yes, your wife will most likely complain about losing the freezer space your vodka collection will now take up). The better the vodka, the less it will taste like anything, this means your martini will taste like cold fire, with a hint of olive. If you cannot stand the burning feeling as you sip the 150 proof vodka (and I'm going to be branded a heretic for saying this), try using sweet vermuth. I keep a bottle of sweet vermuth for when I have guests who can't hack the dry. If you can convince them to try another with the sweet, you'll have them hooked for life, and after the first, they can all be dry (it worked on my wife). 2) Never Never Never shake a gin martini! In fact, don't shake gin at all once you've opened the bottle. You don't want to go oxidizing all those nice flavours in the gin. Keep it in the freezer sealed until your ready to drink it, then pour yourself a glass, think briefly about vermuth, and drop a couple olives in. 3) Ice is the enemy of the martini, back in the dark ages, it was a required evil, but now we have the technology to chill your alcohol without watering it down.
-- Always remember you are nothing more than a collection of complementary chemicals worth not more than $5.00
Don't chill good vodka (none / 0) (#200)
by DodgyGeezer on Sun Sep 07, 2003 at 12:02:55 AM EST

A Russian friend of mine tells me that good vodka shouldn't be chilled - it doesn't need.  If it's got too much flavour and thus needs chilling, it's not vodka.

Oh, and when you say 150 proof, is that American or British?

[ Parent ]

My personal favorite gins (3.00 / 1) (#191)
by DrStrngeluv on Mon Aug 25, 2003 at 06:11:52 PM EST

Plymouth, Boodles, and Beefeater, in that order.

I once read (2.00 / 1) (#193)
by nebbish on Tue Aug 26, 2003 at 10:57:18 AM EST

Of a bartender who would measure the correct amount of vermouth by shaking it in a hollowed out olive. Seems unnecessary, but these things add to the mystery of good food and drink :-)

---------
Kicking someone in the head is like punching them in the foot - Bruce Lee

Aaaahhh! No ice!!! (3.00 / 1) (#195)
by Mungo on Wed Aug 27, 2003 at 12:05:14 PM EST

Whatever you do - DON'T USE ICE and in your dry martini and DON'T SHAKE IT! Bond had no idea what he was talking about - the ice waters the gin down and shaking your martini will destroy some of the more delicate gin flavors.

I like quite a lot of vermouth in my martinis sometimes, but I'd never ever, ever, ever do something so foolish as to shake it with ice...

Bond used vodka, not gin. [NT] (none / 0) (#196)
by craigd on Sun Aug 31, 2003 at 05:49:45 PM EST

Wow, somebody's reading a [NT] comment. I did that when I was a k5 newbie, before I figured it out, so I'm guessing you're in the same boat. NT stands for "No Text." so the fact that I'm writing this makes it something of a lie. But there is no meaningful content here about martinis.


A man who says little is a man who speaks two syllables.
[ Parent ]
Homeopathic booze (none / 0) (#197)
by Shimmer on Mon Sep 01, 2003 at 09:32:56 PM EST

All this talk about minimizing the Vermouth makes me think about homeopathic remedies.

Wizard needs food badly.
How to Mix the Perfect Martini | 200 comments (161 topical, 39 editorial, 0 hidden)
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