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Not an episode of the OC: My coke addiction

By weedaddict in Op-Ed
Mon Dec 26, 2005 at 12:44:55 AM EST
Tags: Culture (all tags)

At the time I thought Justene was an expert in cool; she had experimented already with cocaine and other drugs for a couple of months now, lost her virginity at thirteen, and threw the best parties. She had a big mouth and everyone but her parents knew of her after school activities. There we were, the four of us, huddled around the island in her kitchen where an eight ball of coke lay. At that age, Justene defied all authority and found drugs the ultimate blow in the silent war against her abusive father. Isaac was simply too stupid not to do drugs; he thought nothing of it because he thought nothing of everything. Shauna was a smart goody girl but followed me like a sheep; she followed me off a cliff of destruction.

"Take a hit fool," Justene urged. She spooned out and cut out my first line, looked at me, laughed, mumbled "lightweight," and cut it in half. I, on the other hand, did drugs to feel alive.

The year was 1996: alternative rock was at its prime, Whitewater consumed airtime, Quake was cool, and they cloned a sheep. I had created my own sheep, Shauna. My high school was literally across the street from an all girl catholic school full of attractive blondes who easily put out, which all the popular guys dated. This left an abundance of girls for any guy, even tall skinny nerds like myself, at my school. Shauna bloomed into a beautiful woman in high school but kept her middle school "ugly girl complex", which made her timid and able to bend to peer pressure with ease. I used this to my advantage and manipulated her to do anything I wanted. I was always "nice" since the day I met her and we became instant friends in middle school. She liked me since the beginning but I never took interest in her till she grew into a girl I wanted to bone. My shallowness hurts me even ten years later. Shauna found security and happiness with me to a level I still don't understand. Her fate was my fault.

I had a completely different background than Shauna; I had a loving mother and father. My family wasn't super rich but we were definitely well off, we had a nice house, nice cars, nice pool, and a vacation home in Tahoe. Shauna was poorer than dirt and I loved spoiling her and giving her the things I always took for granted; she loved it back. My family embraced her like a member of our family and she never had to go home to her parents (who both molested her). We would spend three great years together before her heart-breaking death in 1999.

I took my first line, felt nothing. Did a second and third, felt nothing. I told myself cocaine was a weak drug that I'd never try it again, I was so wrong. Justene was already hooked; the euphoria that came to her my first time scared me immensely. Isaac was already brain dead; coke did nothing, he never experimented again (as to my knowledge) and lives a happy life as a blue-collar worker (why do the simple minded end up happy?). Shauna saw cocaine the same way I did and shrugged it off. Tragically, she and I were already addicted.

In my experience, cocaine addicts are automatically hooked their first time but cravings wont surface for months. It was months after I had tried coke before I tried it again, and I didn't even know it. I did it subconsciously; I remember waking (I wasn't asleep but my short term memory was wiped, giving the feeling of waking) up in the back of a car and finding white powder smeared on my jeans. My friends in the car yelled, screamed and told me what I had just done; apparently I pulled out a bag of coke, spilled it on my leg, and sniffed it with a straw. For the life of me, I don't remember purchasing the coke or actually doing it, let alone remember having the will to do it. I was frightened but it was too late. I experienced cravings and was getting high at shorter and shorter intervals: a month, a week, two days, and then daily. Shauna was constantly at my side.

I couldn't tell you exactly why I started to do coke. My parents gave me all I have ever wanted, I had friends, I was fairly smart, but I needed something more. I was like at a limit; I kept saying, "This is as smart, as popular, and as fun as life is going to get." I just hoped cocaine would help me break that limit; it sure did. At first, cocaine made me feel indestructible and genius. My schoolwork, ironically, improved; cocaine made me a feel like an Einstein and homework became a priority. Plus cocaine gave me all the time in the world to work on projects. I got a job at a bakery and worked fifty hours a week on top of school. I was always at a party, whether it was drug related or not, and always had someone to hang out with. I suddenly had all the money, grades, time, and friends I had always wanted, but cocaine had merely pulled a curtain over my eyes.

Shauna, on the other hand, frequently skipped school to get high and her life suffered. She had loved her little brothers more than I could ever understand and protected them from the world (and her parents). But she all but forgot about them while binging on coke. She forgot their birthdays, no longer walked them home from school, and simply didn't care. Our first two years together were heaven; we were always somewhere having fun: a rave, coke party, even orgies. We were always side-by-side and she became addicted to her social life the cocaine brought- maybe even more than the cocaine itself. Our last year, our senior year, was hell; our drug problem was spinning out of control.

Shauna had stopped working during her senior year and I supported her drug addiction. I was irritable and tired. I had done so much cocaine that I was afraid of coming down, and when I did I could no longer sleep without large doses of hydrocodone or marijuana. It seemed like the unlimited time cocaine had brought was diminishing. I had to drive increasingly farther out of my way to obtain the amounts of coke we were both using to feel normal. I was $6,000 dollars in debt to various banks, friends, and dealers and it seemed like I would never recover. I had simply no time for school and barely passed senior year (my overall GPA in high school was still a 3.54, which combined with a 1360 SAT was enough to get me into college). The day Shauna dropped out of school was, at the time, the saddest moment of my entire life. I saw what she had become, a drug fiend and a bitch. Everything I loved about her was gone; the sweetness and shyness I had found attractive was gone. It finally hit me, I had ruined the life of another, and I was going too. I vowed it to myself that I would quit; I decided to celebrate with a little coke and overdosed.

I was no longer the social outgoing person I once was; I often stayed home to get high alone. This time I took my $100 dollar baggie of coke to a Safeway parking lot after my shift ended at 11 pm. I don't remember actually doing the coke just the euphoria and comfort of getting high, the only comfort I found in the world. My eyes dazed in and out and I had tunnel vision. I remember my nose starting to bleed; I lapped up the blood with my tongue because I thought it had the faint taste of cocaine. It wasn't until the streetlights turned into angels that I realized I just might die. Fading fast, I had to tell myself to stay awake or I would surely be dead. I remember the two longest hours of my life trying to stay awake. I became dizzy and my head twirled until the ground flew up at me fast. I eventually awoke in a hospital the next night. I still do not know who found me or when that night. I had surpassed the lethal dosage of cocaine; I should have died.

Shauna wouldn't be so lucky. I quit cold turkey after that incident; unfortunately, this is one thing she didn't want to follow along. I could have forced her to quit but at the time I was weak and feeling horrible. Her mother found her under an overpass after she didn't come home for a few days. She was just hours past death. I couldn't deal with quitting and her death at one time; I bottled the remorse and pain from her death while I defeated my addiction. I tried to convince myself she was on vacation or anything but dead. It finally came to me: the poor, abused, and beautiful girl who loved me with all her heart was dead, and I was the cause. I had killed her. The selfish pleasure I felt from taking advantage of her insecurities had killed her.

For the first year, my life was hell. I was depressed and suicidal; I wanted to end the pain. Although I have never done cocaine again, my drug addiction would continue. Vicodin, ecstasy, and pot would continue to be my drugs of choice for next three years. I eventually kicked everything one by one (I just recently gave up pot and now completely clean). The drugs are now out, but the emotional pain of Shauna's death will be with me forever. Therapy helped me realize that the pain would never go away; I just had to accept it. I also had to realize that if I did die in that parking lot, Shauna might have quit; she could still be alive. Therapist tried to convince me that her death wasn't entirely my fault but I call bullshit. I was in control of blind love and led it off a cliff.


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Not an episode of the OC: My coke addiction | 125 comments (93 topical, 32 editorial, 0 hidden)
and editorial (2.00 / 3) (#12)
by wampswillion on Fri Dec 23, 2005 at 11:38:56 PM EST

ok.  that was much much much better, your re-write.  
and wa?
remorse and guilt are hard and heavy things to carry around forever.  especially for something that began when you were so young.  did you know wa that there is a great amount of research now that adolescent brains do not work really like adult brains do?   and while that doesn't mean that all actions taken by teenagers are excusable, what it does mean is that you really couldn't have been expected to make all adult-like decisions at that age.  

 what happened here was a tragedy. it's very sad.  and yes you had a part to play but you know what? you were a child.  and there were a lot of adults here that should take much of the blame on.  starting with her parents.  to molest a child or abuse a child is simply wrong.   and that played with her psyche in ways you could not know or fathom.   her parents are to blame.  and what of her extended family?  no one of them knew? saw? tried to help?
second, that no one at her school, no teacher, no guidance counselor, NO ONE saw signs that would have red-flagged her as in need of help???  there's blame there for those people too.   probably others.  

and while you can hear all that and you'll probably still blame just yourself, i think you need to recognize too that to honor her soul, what you need to do now is live well and happy and clean.  and remember that every person you meet along the way has a little bit of her in them.  and the way you can make it up to her is by being as "stand up" as you can with everyone else you come across.    

that doesn't mean you have to be serious all the time.  doesn't mean you have to be a sucker for every hard life story or that you have to join a monestery or something.  doesn't mean you have to do penance or time or be morose and serious all your life. actually it means the opposite.  

wa? my x abused drugs and alcohol.  and while we were trying to work things out in our marriage and he had gotten out of rehab. we went to these aa and na meetings.  and well, the one thing i remember distinctly was them saying that at the point where he started to use drugs and alcohol heavily that is the point where his emotional growth stopped.  and so what they were saying was that at age 44, he was as emotionally grown up as a 15 year old.  

so do you realize what a chance you have here, that he did not???  you are young.  and you have time to grow.   and you have a lot of strength.  but put the remorse and guilt down every once in awhile. go for longer and longer stretches of time before you pick them up again.  til someday you forget that you have to carry them.  because you don't have to.
don't ever forget this story but don't live it over and over and over in your head either.   it's over.  you got out of it alive.  so go live.  
much peace to you wa.  
ps. i'll go vote. to send it up.  

I'm not a big fan of "therapy" (2.00 / 3) (#13)
by krkrbt on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 12:47:18 AM EST

Therapy helped me realize that the pain would never go away; I just had to accept it. ... Therapist tried to convince me that her death wasn't entirely my fault but I call bullshit.

I met a girl once who was terrified of bees.  She and her (mentally disabled?) sister had been attacked by a swarm 10 years earlier.  She'd been to therapy, and she accepted that she was terrified of bees.  I, amateur hypnotist and life-enhancement hobbyist, offered to help.  After fumbling around for a little while I remembered another technique that seemed appropriate(she didn't want to be hypnotized, and didn't want to play along with the EFT protocol).  

Later, after we went our separate ways (at an outdoor late-summer party), she comes up to me - "look, I got stung!"  And she was happy that her phobia of bees was gone.

I used to work with a lady who was always pissed off.  I told her I knew some hypnotic techniques that were good for anger.  Several months later she calls me up... "Remember how you offered to help?  Well, I'm worse now, is the offer still open?"

She had a good idea where her problems came from - self-described "military brat" who moved a lot growing up... Got pregnant when she was 14, divorced from the father of her 2 other kids, financially unstable, maybe some sexual abuse, etc.  But having a good idea what created her problem didn't help.  I guided her into a trance state and led her through some "timeline" work, taking her back to some of the less than positive experiences in her past.  

Everyone has had times that weren't so great, it's the lessons we take away that count.  With the benefit of hindsight, even the worst of experiences have some positive lesson that can benefit you.  

So - I directed the co-worker to a less than positive experience in her past.  Find the positive lesson, go back to the start of the event, re-live the event with that lesson in mind, and experience how everything changes from that point in your past all the way down through your personal timeline to the present...

I'm just an amateur, so "D" is still kind of angry. But after going through 3 or 4 or 5 separate less-than-positive events (I didn't ask what they were, but I do know that she was surprised at what came up) the all-consuming rage is gone.  

So - you've been to a therapist, and they didn't help you come to terms with the role you played in your friend's death.  Instead of accepting defeat, why not decide that that particular therapist didn't know how to help; that it's time to find a technique that works.  

Yes, these two examples are different from what troubles you.  But every individual's "problems" are unique.  No One has a had a life just like yours.  

I'm only a two-bit amateur, and I've still been able to help people who were convinced they were going to have to live with their troubles. (I accidentally took away someone's flight phobia once.  She wanted to keep it.  oops. :).  

There are plenty of effective techniques.  Emotrance (a branch of "energy psychology") erased the girl's bee-phobia in <5 minutes.  Hypnosis is the age-old method for teaching people how take charge of their lives.  Neuro-Linguistic Programming evolved from modeling effective therapists, such as world renowned hypnotist Milton Erickson and family therapist Virginia Satir.  EFT is popular too, because it's easy, effective, and the manual is free on the website.  

So many options.  When you start to look, I'm sure you'll find something that's just right for you.

Emotrance (3.00 / 2) (#15)
by BJH on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 01:28:16 AM EST

I thought that was a branch of European semi-"music"...
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
-- Oscar Levant

[ Parent ]
I find your ideas intriguing. (2.45 / 11) (#21)
by Orange Tanning Cream on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 08:27:12 AM EST

I wish to buy your complete instructional video set for only five easy payments of $19.95.

[ Parent ]
details on how to order (3.00 / 4) (#29)
by krkrbt on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 03:16:38 PM EST

I'll be happy to sell you a complete instructional package.  The usual deal is 5 payments of $19.95 but for you, if you order in the next 24 hours, I'll knock two full payments off.  So, for only 3 easy payments of $19.95, you can get an exclusive selection of printouts of public webpages available to anyone.  Included in your package will be a audio CD with self-hypnosis inductions, made from an mp3 downloaded from some random website.  If I find any videos on the interweb I'll burn a videoCD for you, but video instruction is not necessary to learn the techniques.

Please post your credit card number, the 3 or 4 digit security code, billing address, and a shipping adress in a reply to this comment, and I'll get your package out to you ASAP.

[ Parent ]

Web site looked like a popup. (none / 0) (#60)
by rpresser on Mon Dec 26, 2005 at 07:02:48 PM EST

Whenever a web site such as your EFT link requires itself to use a superlative within the first two sentences, the intense smell of bullshit that I perceive drives me away permanently.  Congratulations; you have just won another EFT anticonvert.
"In terms of both hyperbolic overreaching and eventual wrongness, the Permanent [Republican] Majority has set a new, and truly difficult to beat, standard." --rusty
[ Parent ]
I'm just the messenger (none / 0) (#65)
by krkrbt on Tue Dec 27, 2005 at 01:50:01 AM EST

I think the old saying applies here:  You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

[ Parent ]
Not if the water smells like slime, you can't. \\ (none / 0) (#74)
by rpresser on Wed Dec 28, 2005 at 04:45:59 PM EST

"In terms of both hyperbolic overreaching and eventual wrongness, the Permanent [Republican] Majority has set a new, and truly difficult to beat, standard." --rusty
[ Parent ]
rehab is for quitters you wimp (2.62 / 8) (#14)
by rhiannon on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 12:59:19 AM EST

A true coke lover manages their addiction so they can keep doing it for decades.

Also, to accept responsibility for the death of your friend is to deny responsibility for your own life. If you were in control of her, then perhaps something else was in control of you. Which is bullshit, everyone is only ever capable of being themselves and changing their own lives, you cannot make someone else do something. Accept your role in the grand scheme of things, which was not the knight in shining armor or the dastardly villain, and move on. If it really makes you feel like shit then do something about it, figure out some way to make a positive difference in someone else's life. Maybe you'll never feel good again, but at least you'll make the world a better place.

I continued to rebuff the advances... so many advances... of so many attractive women. -MC
IAWTP (none / 0) (#72)
by neozeed on Wed Dec 28, 2005 at 08:05:24 AM EST

What is it with these addicts that think they are playing god? Sometimes (always) thei arrogance is their undoing....


Unless you're alive you can't play. And if you don't play, you don't get to be alive.
[ Parent ]

I prefer (3.00 / 2) (#20)
by Insoc on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 03:33:06 AM EST

Less Than Zero. But maybe that's just me.

think about it (none / 1) (#24)
by banffbug on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 12:21:46 PM EST

If you claim ALL responsiblity for Shauna's death, you are in effect saying she had NO control over herself - no free will? she made choices to.. you didn't pull the trigger of the gun. if anything, your experiences will be seeds for future meaningful relationships with other women.

Not clearly an op-ed piece, but +1 SP anyway (3.00 / 3) (#25)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 01:04:37 PM EST

You spend almost the entire time describing the events that lead up to Shauna's death, and then only offer your take at the end. Culture/Culture might have been a better choice, but that can always be fixed later if there are enough others that agree with this analysis.

Barring that, however, it's still well written and poignantly tells the story of two addicts that met very different outcomes. Kudos to you for having the courage to share your story in such a public manner.

"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
Instant addiction? (3.00 / 8) (#30)
by thejeff on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 06:25:33 PM EST

You tried a few lines of coke once, felt nothing, then several months later found you were addicted? And, in your experience, this is a common patterm?

I'm no expert on cocaine, but I've never heard of anything like this. People trying coke once or twice, not having any cravings so they think they're safe and go on to develop a steady habit, sure, but this sounds like bullshit to me. Even the gevernment scare literature that talks about instant addiction doesn't go this far.

What's the physiological basis?  Cocaine doesn't stay in your system for months. Why would your body crave it months later, with nothing inbetweem. It's not psychological, you didn't even like it the first time, you haven't done it enough for it to be a habit or a crutch. So what's the mechanism.

And blackouts, while straight, where you do complicated things like find dealers and buy coke? Either it's just bullshit or you already had more serious problems.

I just don't buy it. It doesn't match with anything I've ever heard or read about cocaine.

I have been with enough (1.50 / 2) (#32)
by weedaddict on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 06:57:10 PM EST

coke addicts to see this happen more than once. I had a friend try it once for late night studing in college, then got cravings a year later, he dropped out of school cause of his eventual addiction.

Reality has a certain cynical bias - Cattle Rustler
[ Parent ]
Nope.. Not addicted (2.80 / 5) (#44)
by prolixity on Sun Dec 25, 2005 at 05:34:57 AM EST

I've taken more than my share of lines.  Never felt a compulsion to take more afterward.. never inflicted harm on myself or my loved ones.  Never fell into desperate financial straits because of it.

Haven't had any in over six years.  

So one time use leads to addiction?  

Not in this cat (not even fairly consistent use over a period of months), and not in anyone else I know.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience.  Perhaps, rather than blaming the drug, you could look inside yourself to find why you developed this compulsion.  
[ Parent ]

You are right (none / 0) (#57)
by weedaddict on Mon Dec 26, 2005 at 01:09:26 PM EST

I guess it's all based on personalities; I was predetermined to be addicted I guess.

Reality has a certain cynical bias - Cattle Rustler
[ Parent ]
genetics (none / 1) (#73)
by GotoHospital on Wed Dec 28, 2005 at 04:15:26 PM EST

nested¢ evolution is still interesting. talk.origins faq.
[ Parent ]
That, or the fact that you took speed as well. (3.00 / 2) (#82)
by Russell Dovey on Thu Dec 29, 2005 at 06:50:39 AM EST

Admit it, ritalin-boy.

"Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light." - Spike Milligan
[ Parent ]

DAMN YOU GENETICS (3.00 / 2) (#100)
by MMcP on Sun Jan 01, 2006 at 05:00:30 PM EST

You've won for the last time!

[ Parent ]
IAWTP $ (none / 0) (#109)
by D Jade on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 07:08:10 PM EST

You're a shitty troll, so stop pretending you have more of a life than a cool dude -- HollyHopDrive
[ Parent ]
for historical reasons: Addic+1on! (1.25 / 4) (#31)
by tetsuwan on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 06:34:42 PM EST

Njal's Saga: Just like Romeo & Juliet without the romance

hmm (2.50 / 6) (#35)
by Linux or FreeBSD on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 08:07:43 PM EST

i suggest you find a way around the whole "blackout" thing. the only people i've known to experience anything like that were already crazy, and they never did anything nearly that complex. you can't blame the coke itself for, as it's water soluble and (like most stimulants) rapidly removed from the body. stimulant psychosis? 3 months later after using it once?

"Cocaine is reported to have a half-life ranging from 48 (Wilkinson et al 1980, Chow et al, 1985) to 87 (Cook et al, 1985) minutes with the shorter half-lives occurring in the chronic abuser of the drug. The half-life is not affected by the route of administration (Cook et al 1985). Practically speaking this means that 8 hours following cocaine injection or inhalation 98 to 100% of the drug has been metabolized by the liver or has excreted in the urine."
"Heavy users sniff up to 10 g/d although most users take significantly less."

using daily for years would qualify you as a "chronic abuser." you said you used $350 worth that day. $100 at 11pm which caused heart failure (i'm guessing?). that's pretty late in the day. you probably would have had to use a significant amount to get going in the morning, which would be metabolized by 11pm. like the blackout thing, the near-death part is pretty weak.

maybe you could work this in:
"A genetic pseudocholinesterase deficiency (1 in 3000 patients) could lead to increased cocaine levels."

google if you want the source; i closed the window.

Remember I said (none / 0) (#55)
by weedaddict on Mon Dec 26, 2005 at 01:55:59 AM EST

I worked 70 hours a week on top of school? I primarily did coke between breaks starting at about 3:30 pm, then one at 7pm, then the last at 11. Although I did do a little in the morning to balance out the sleeping pills/vicodin/weed though. There could also be the possibility that the cheap coke I was using caused it... however unlikely. I think I did too much too soon at 11 that day.

Reality has a certain cynical bias - Cattle Rustler
[ Parent ]
now it's 70? (none / 0) (#113)
by naru on Wed Jan 04, 2006 at 04:49:23 PM EST

now it's already 70h instead of 50h :P

[ Parent ]
-1, waste of material. (none / 1) (#37)
by xC0000005 on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 10:30:22 PM EST

You have rich story material here, ample room to communicate whatever meaning the reader may choose to interpret from your story, and it is wasted on this presentation. Retry.

Voice of the Hive - Beekeeping and Bees for those who don't
Hi, my name is Million Little Pieces. (none / 1) (#38)
by Pirengle on Sat Dec 24, 2005 at 11:51:46 PM EST

"Hi, Million Little Pieces."

Seriously. Include a chapter on how you got through rehab...

A sure-fire way to make friends and influence people: transform the letters "l" and "i" into "-1"s whenever posting. Instant wit!
next story... (none / 0) (#42)
by weedaddict on Sun Dec 25, 2005 at 04:01:20 AM EST

Reality has a certain cynical bias - Cattle Rustler
[ Parent ]
Totally. (none / 0) (#67)
by tarpy on Tue Dec 27, 2005 at 02:55:40 PM EST

Ok, am I crazy, or is that book stalking me right now? First my wife reads it, then my mother and sister, and now I see people reading it everywhere.

Leave me alone!!!!

Sir, this is old skool. Old skool. I salute you! - Knot In The Face
[ Parent ]
ah, crackheads (2.71 / 7) (#39)
by circletimessquare on Sun Dec 25, 2005 at 01:24:14 AM EST

+1 fp

i encourage the useless ramblings of crackheads

no matter how many bad choices you've made in your life, or how much of a fuckup you think yourself to be, there is always a crackhead to remind you how much worse your choices in life could have been

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

he never said he used crack (2.00 / 2) (#40)
by Linux or FreeBSD on Sun Dec 25, 2005 at 02:18:53 AM EST

[ Parent ]
crackheads, cokeheads (1.50 / 2) (#41)
by circletimessquare on Sun Dec 25, 2005 at 03:30:44 AM EST

same kind of spastic loser

yes different delivery method changes the addiction profile, but the chemical is the same

so to me, courtney love, whitney houston, same kind of brain damaged fuckup

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

crack (none / 1) (#59)
by trane on Mon Dec 26, 2005 at 04:25:44 PM EST

is a quicker rush.

That's why I like it!

[ Parent ]

hey crackhead (none / 0) (#62)
by circletimessquare on Mon Dec 26, 2005 at 09:51:10 PM EST

ain't you dead yet?

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
nooooooo (none / 0) (#68)
by trane on Tue Dec 27, 2005 at 05:47:22 PM EST

you're gonna have to kill me if you want to get rid of me, bro!

[ Parent ]
hey crackhead (none / 1) (#69)
by circletimessquare on Tue Dec 27, 2005 at 07:04:17 PM EST

chronic use of hardcore drugs like heroin and cocaine is just slow motion suicide

i keep asking if you're dead becase that's what you seem to want

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

hey oxygenfiend (3.00 / 3) (#76)
by Xptic on Wed Dec 28, 2005 at 06:49:00 PM EST

breathing in and out is just slow-motion suicide

we are all gonna die sooner or later

[ Parent ]

so according to you (none / 0) (#81)
by circletimessquare on Thu Dec 29, 2005 at 06:41:23 AM EST

chronic use of hard drugs like cocaine and heroine doesn't ACCELERATE the march towards death?

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
Question: What's the primary cause of ageing? (none / 1) (#108)
by D Jade on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 07:03:59 PM EST

That would be oxygen CTS. Everyone's bodies are damaged by oxygen. You know that thing called rust? That's oxidisation of iron. Much like wrinkles and all other signs of ageing found in body cells is caused by oxidisation.

That's why I laugh at yuppies that go to oxygen bars because they're just speeding up the ageing process.

You're a shitty troll, so stop pretending you have more of a life than a cool dude -- HollyHopDrive
[ Parent ]

you need oxygen to live (none / 1) (#118)
by circletimessquare on Mon Jan 09, 2006 at 01:25:38 PM EST

the o2 is nonnegotiable

the cocaine is negotiable

but, yes, i agree with you, o2 bars are pretty fucking stupid

linus paulding rolls over in his grave (cranked up on vitamin c still probably, considering the megadoses he proposed)

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

well... (3.00 / 4) (#77)
by trane on Wed Dec 28, 2005 at 07:58:35 PM EST

often, i reflect that living in this world, where hustlers and fools get all the attention (and the chicks), and that death would be preferable to the constant beat-down I get wherever I go. However, after attempting suicide three times, I've come to realize I'm just not brave enough to carry it through. So a few years ago I decided to devote my life to being as annoying as possible to those who formerly made me want to kill myself. Being annoying as possible includes smoking crack and being unapologetic about it. It also includes refusing to become a "regular" crackhead, i.e. criminal-minded and manipulative.

So, you keep asking me if i'm dead yet, but can't you see, your attitude is exactly the same as the "successful" crackheads? They look down upon me and laugh at me exactly as you do...you are two sides of the same coin. Whereas I'm a completely different kind of coin, maybe a bill, or a money-order, or something...

[ Parent ]

let me divulge your fate (none / 0) (#83)
by circletimessquare on Thu Dec 29, 2005 at 07:04:32 AM EST

i have nothing but contempt for suicidal people, they are usually hopelessly narcissistic and self-involved, and boy do you sound the part

it's your life dude, but filling it with emptiness isn't revenge on anyone (revenge? by ruining your life with crack? are you for real? welcome to the endless black hole of the logic of narcissism)

your pathetic fate, since your too self-involved to see it yourself:

  1. you've gone from suicidal narcissist to crackhead narcissist (applause, the rivetting tale of the evolution of a degenerate life)
  2. now, when you get bored with the crack (as if any other impetus would do for someone like you), you should transition to full-on masochist: A LIFE OF PURE UNADULTERATED SOBER PAIN







you fucking crackhead zombie, masochism is your future

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

i won't quit crack (none / 1) (#90)
by trane on Fri Dec 30, 2005 at 08:43:38 PM EST

until it's legalized.

[ Parent ]
which reveals your real problem (none / 0) (#94)
by circletimessquare on Sat Dec 31, 2005 at 02:00:47 AM EST

your retarded psychology

you think hurting yourself proves something to other people, you think acting in opposition to what others want for you, regardless of the wisdom of it or not, is supposed to mean something

no, it just proves you're fucking stupid

ps: you can take my negativity towards you and roll it up in your convulted way of thinking about how people relate to you to give vindication to your self-hurting choices, as i know you will, as i know how your retarded masochism works

pps: why don't you start cutting yourself like those retarded teenagers do with parents who hate them? same stupid bullshit

just die already you useless fuck

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

well (none / 1) (#98)
by trane on Sat Dec 31, 2005 at 04:20:11 PM EST

in hurting myself, i hurt the society of which you are a part. for example i eat up some of your tax dollars...

when will you realize that, by keeping drugs illegal, you are hurting yourself? (not to mention me.)

[ Parent ]

because you're wrong (none / 0) (#110)
by circletimessquare on Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 08:52:44 PM EST

keeping drugs illegal has a million evil side effects, you can list every single one you can think of, i would agree with every single evil side effect you can demonstrate or even conjecture upon.

but all of those effects are all counterbalanced by the fact that illegality of HARD drugs (heroin, coke, meth... i think mary jane should be legal) keeps people from trying drugs and becoming addicts

of course there will always be retards like you who ignore all the warnings and roadblocks society puts up, and become useless drug addicts. it's just your psychology because your parents were too hard on you or for whatever reason that's left you with a toxic psychology: i do it because you tell me not to. whatever, retard. why is that reason supposed to impress anyone? it's just flaunting your idiocy. we get it, you're stupid, you don't have to prove it anymore... except you think you have to, over and over again ;-P

whether drugs were legal or not, people like you would exist. people like you have always existed and always will. nothing will change that. every generation gives us a regular crop of einsteins, picassos, hitlers... and tranes. not everyone is meant to become successful, hell, not even everyone is meant to merely survive. some retards like you were just meant to become useless wastoids. it's statistical inevitability that you can't save everyone, or even redeem everyone. some people just dig a hole for themselves whether you hand them a shovel or a sandwich. it's all they know how to do. it's the one thing they do well: fuck themselves up. it's all they do well

meanwhile, that you exist on society's charity is a wonderful statement about how giving and good and tolerant human nature is, that they would even waste their time supporting you. your existence is proof to me that society is good. maybe that's the only good thing to come out of your life: a demonstration of what to avoid, and a demonstration that society is good. as for me, i'm not society: hell, people like you as far as i am concerned can be easily solved with a bullet in the head. not that i would shoot you or that i would advocate anyone else shooting you, but i know you might shoot yourself. you're killing yourself anyway, so just speed up the process you loser

drugs merely facilitate your uselessness faster. if there were no drugs on the planet earth, you'd still be just as fucking useless as you are now. you'd find a way. you'd be very creative at it. it's your nature. you would find a way to be a useless turd no matter what. i've known people like you my entire life. i'm not impressed or intrigued in the least. you're just disgusting. just die already

there are, however, other people who would have had much better lives if it weren't for addiction. it is for the sake of these people that the laws that outlaw hard drugs exist, not for your sake

retards like you, who believe in legalizing hard drugs, you live in this magical world where chemical addiction doesn't exist. that if you make cocaine and meth and heroin legal, all of the drug problems would disappear like magic

you're right, they would all disappear... except for one: THE NUMBER OF ADDICTS WOULD INCREASE EXPONENTIALLY. and otherwise wonderful lives would be reduced to your empty sorry excuse for an existence

and that one reason, that one reason alone, outweighs all the arguments for legalizing hard drugs

that we keep the number of people living your sorry empty pointless life to a minimum

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

by procrasti on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 01:29:01 PM EST



if i ever see the nickname procrasti again on this site or anywhere in my life, i want it to be in an OBITUARY -- CTS
doing my best at licking arseholes - may 2015 -- mirko
Winner of Kuro5hin: April 2015
[ Parent ]

But cutting yourself is legal... (3.00 / 2) (#107)
by D Jade on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 07:02:13 PM EST

Where's the fun in that?

You're a shitty troll, so stop pretending you have more of a life than a cool dude -- HollyHopDrive
[ Parent ]
CTS! (3.00 / 2) (#106)
by D Jade on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 07:01:23 PM EST

That rant kind of read like the ramblings of a crackhead I heard down near the bus stop...

You're a shitty troll, so stop pretending you have more of a life than a cool dude -- HollyHopDrive
[ Parent ]
my brain makes crack naturally (nt) (none / 1) (#111)
by circletimessquare on Wed Jan 04, 2006 at 12:31:07 AM EST

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
ohhhhh (3.00 / 2) (#114)
by D Jade on Wed Jan 04, 2006 at 06:07:51 PM EST

Is there any way we can siphon it out of your ear and convert it into rocks?

You could make a lot of money you know...

You're a shitty troll, so stop pretending you have more of a life than a cool dude -- HollyHopDrive
[ Parent ]

including the baking soda? (none / 1) (#115)
by Linux or FreeBSD on Fri Jan 06, 2006 at 03:39:24 PM EST

[ Parent ]
and vinegar... fzzzzzzzzzz (nt) (none / 0) (#117)
by circletimessquare on Mon Jan 09, 2006 at 01:20:25 PM EST

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
CTS has been pumped with too much propaganda (none / 1) (#120)
by procrasti on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 01:13:10 PM EST

The only society that considers drugs even worse than America are the Asian countries like Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore and The Philippines... I suspect the two main countries CTS has experienced are the US and The Philippines, where "Capital punishment is possible for certain drug-related crimes". So its not surprising he has such a warped view. I would probably be blind too if people were willing to kill me for taking/possessing them.

Although now closed, Pudu prison in Malaysia is entirely covered in art done by the inmates kept there for narcotics before hanging them. Although it seemed obvious to me and others in my group that this was a complete and utter waste of talent, the tour guide saw it as nothing but a good thing.

Rat park clearly shows that if you put a rat in a cage with nothing to do but take drugs, it will take drugs.... ironically people think the solution to someone else's drug problem is to remove all stimulation from them and put them in a cage with nothing to do but take drugs.

The majority of people who are reasonably happy with their lives and have enough stimulation will not become addicted to these drugs despite trying them, and I think he personally would chill out about it if he ever had a line... On the other hand, if you choose to take the risk you must bear in mind that they are addictive and habit forming and if you have a predisposition towards addictiveness, are more strongly affected by it than other people or are not careful and repeatedly use it, then yes, it is possible for you to become an addict. (OTOH, I do not think people under 21 know enough about themselves to be able to make this decision, but I am talking about adults here)

if i ever see the nickname procrasti again on this site or anywhere in my life, i want it to be in an OBITUARY -- CTS
doing my best at licking arseholes - may 2015 -- mirko
Winner of Kuro5hin: April 2015
[ Parent ]

Ah internet trolls (3.00 / 6) (#56)
by procrasti on Mon Dec 26, 2005 at 08:57:03 AM EST

+3 I encourage the useless ramblings of psychotic idiots.

No matter how far down the crackpipe or white lines you fall, and no matter what you've done for the crack, at least you know you're not a rude, self opinionated, simple minded, inhumane, internet addicted troll.

Remind yourself of that and how much worse your life could have been, and I hope that gives you the strength to get your life back together.

God dammit CTS, what a lovely Christmas sentiment. Your goodness just shines through in everything you write.

if i ever see the nickname procrasti again on this site or anywhere in my life, i want it to be in an OBITUARY -- CTS
doing my best at licking arseholes - may 2015 -- mirko
Winner of Kuro5hin: April 2015
[ Parent ]

my own stalker (sniff) it's so heartwarming nt (none / 0) (#58)
by circletimessquare on Mon Dec 26, 2005 at 01:42:30 PM EST

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
Sense of humour (none / 1) (#105)
by D Jade on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 06:57:37 PM EST

Obviously no one gave you one for christmas...

You're a shitty troll, so stop pretending you have more of a life than a cool dude -- HollyHopDrive
[ Parent ]
it's funny cause it's true... n/t (none / 1) (#80)
by chia on Thu Dec 29, 2005 at 06:07:22 AM EST

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. O Wilde
[ Parent ]
Blah. (1.75 / 4) (#43)
by stupefaction on Sun Dec 25, 2005 at 04:59:15 AM EST

Coke is old hat. Why don't you try snorting something original, such as toothpaste or silicon chips?

I've (none / 0) (#47)
by weedaddict on Sun Dec 25, 2005 at 01:13:38 PM EST

freebased toothpaste

Reality has a certain cynical bias - Cattle Rustler
[ Parent ]
-1 (1.05 / 17) (#51)
by PrinceSausage on Sun Dec 25, 2005 at 07:02:36 PM EST

Self absorbed mental masturbation. Get over it somewhere else.

Did you ever snort coke... (1.41 / 17) (#63)
by bighappyface on Tue Dec 27, 2005 at 12:36:49 AM EST

...off your girlfriend's tits, ass, or vaginal lips?

Better yet... (1.22 / 9) (#64)
by bighappyface on Tue Dec 27, 2005 at 12:37:55 AM EST

...girls complain about anal sex hurting, so you could put coke on your fingers, then finger her butthole until it got numb (she might get high if you stick your fingers far enough up, which you'd have to do so it wouldn't hurt), and then convince her to do anal!

[ Parent ]
Probablly. (none / 0) (#88)
by weedaddict on Fri Dec 30, 2005 at 07:18:10 PM EST

Reality has a certain cynical bias - Cattle Rustler
[ Parent ]
This is the funniest part about political... (2.75 / 4) (#93)
by bighappyface on Sat Dec 31, 2005 at 01:10:12 AM EST

...correctness and all these diversity fucks.

They preach and reprimand and scold, and they care more about the actual 'offended' parties, who couldn't give a shit less.

I see it all the time with gays and minorities.

Some white woman (probably a sexually repressed dyke) spouting off at the mouth and criticizing everyone else as intolerant, when the offended parties couldn't give a fuck less.

I'm bitching cuz weedaddict gave me a 3.

Unless I was zeroed for it being not funny or stupid, rather than because it was offensive, in which case carry on. Guttersluts.

[ Parent ]

If only this serves as a warning to others (2.00 / 2) (#66)
by SpaceMonkeyGrif on Tue Dec 27, 2005 at 02:11:35 PM EST

Your experiences certainly arent unique by any means.

I've seen my share of kids and addiction and it saddens me more than any other problem that most kids will have growing up.  Most other problems they have are external and can be mitigated by removal from the problem, drugs are personal and very selfish.

Gambling addiction and drug addiction are family destroyers.  I usually dont see gambling addictions before college age, but drug addicts seem to start soon after puberty.  

Your addiction doesnt care how rich you are, or how rich your parents are.  It doesnt care what color your skin is.

about 50% of the time some traumatic experience will usually be enough to alter the addicts behavior.  Hitting bottom is usually the most traumatic, but a friends death can also be enough to clean up.  And of course the ADDICTS death is included in the 50% who stop using drugs as well.

For others even extended periods in prison dont seem to shock them into quitting.  

The system is currently setup such that the only help you can get is when its too late.  You are already an addict.  You are fucked. If only we could get to them before they fuck up.  Have a field trip to an AA / NA or gamblers annon meetings.  This certainly wont help all, but then again if you want these kids to see what lays ahead for them, maybe they will realize it wont be so cool to snort.

Outward bound is great, but only after you have fucked everything up.

I always get the "I can handle it" syndrome.

My college roommate used to inject himself in the scrotum to hide the needle marks from his parents.  He made deans list every semester and worked for a famous brokerage house after graduating.  Most brilliant guy i've ever known. He ended up getting hiv not from a needle but from 'other' efforts to secure his drugs when he went bankrupt.

Drugs, like gravity, ALWAYS win.  

Your heart is in the right place (3.00 / 2) (#84)
by sydb on Thu Dec 29, 2005 at 12:16:52 PM EST

But like so many people you make sweeping generalisations, summed up by your use of the word "drug" in sentences like "Drugs, like gravity, ALWAYS win."

Not all drugs are addictive. Some drugs have positive effects, including some illegal drugs. And whether drug use is selfish or not depends on the drug in question and your moral stance; I am sure you do things that I would consider selfish and vice versa.

I can't give you a short, snappy alternative. The  one word which hints at addiction is probably "narcotic" but even that really means something that makes you sleep, and hence cannot be logically applied to cocaine.

Perhaps it's best not to talk about the chemical but rather the psychological force - addiction. "Addiction, like gravity, ALWAYS wins." After all, cocaine on it's own is not addictive. It has to meet an animal brain first.

Making Linux GPL'd was definitely the best thing I ever did - Linus Torvalds
[ Parent ]

Imagine. (3.00 / 6) (#87)
by Back Spaced on Fri Dec 30, 2005 at 03:01:06 PM EST

Yeah, just think, if your buddy could have gotten his fix cheaply, cleanly and legally, he might still be here.

Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder. He's pre-med.
[ Parent ]

My best friend died two years ago (2.00 / 6) (#70)
by MSBob on Tue Dec 27, 2005 at 09:00:46 PM EST

Heroin killed him. I never took it but he started at 18 and was dead at 27. His liver gave in. Street drugs are cut with some of the worst shit you could imagine (engine oil for example). He died a slow, painful death of liver cancer. In a way I was relieved when he passed away, because I wanted his suffering to end.

A class drugs kill. No matter what the hippies on this website try to claim. Anyone who knows a seriuos drug user realises how quickly people succumb.

I wish more people saw "Requiem for a Dream". The best drug movie ever made.

As for your guilty feeling, don't know what to tell you, buddy. You'll have to deal with it yourself. If you're writing this seeking assurances, you're not going to get it from me. The blame for her death is not 100% squarely on your shoulders but you're not without the blame either.

I don't mind paying taxes, they buy me civilization.

Contradictory (2.71 / 7) (#75)
by Xptic on Wed Dec 28, 2005 at 06:46:44 PM EST

You start off by saying that he died from Heroin.  But what he really died from was liver cancer.  Have you ever considered that he'd be alive today if he was allowed to pay for heroin at a drug store vice buying it from some random asshole on the streets?

Also, while some dealers do cut drugs with stupid shit, it is in the best interest of the dealer to deliver a quality product.  If you have a reputable dealer with a long-standing relationship, odds are you'll never get a shitty batch.  But when your dealer gets busted and you are forced to buy from an unknown source, all bets are off.

I know people who have lived with drug use for the better part of 40 years.  They smoke pot weekly and pop perscription pills every now and agian.  They do coke on special occasions and maybe try heroin or crack once or twice.  Sometimes they might try a bit of meth or some extacy; maybe some acid when they can find it.  But the point is that these people wake up every day and go to work.  They aren't addicts.  They don't turn into theives or murderers.

Addiction can be a problem.  But food addiction will kill you just the same as a coke addiction.

There are a lot of problems with how we deal with drug users in the US.  I'm not saying legalization is a good answer.  But we do know that what is in-place now is costing lives.

Drugs didn't kill your friend; society's mores killed your friend.

[ Parent ]

Shitty formatting. (3.00 / 4) (#86)
by Back Spaced on Fri Dec 30, 2005 at 02:59:06 PM EST

Your friend died from hepatocellular carcinoma.

He got hepatocellular carcinoma because he had hepatitis.

He got hepatitis becuase he shared needles.

He shared needles because he couldn't get clean ones.

He couldn't get clean ones because it wasn't legal.

Your friend died because our society prefers dead heroin users to living ones.

Why? Because dead heroin users make better examples to sell the war on drugs. Your friend died so that you could make an example of him, which you promptly do, thereby helping to keep drugs illegal, and kill more people like them.

Way to go.

Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder. He's pre-med.
[ Parent ]

Not just needles (2.00 / 2) (#99)
by MSBob on Sun Jan 01, 2006 at 01:26:10 AM EST

I have no idea if he did or did not share needles or whether he had had hepatitis prior to getting cancer. But he did shoot some dodgy stuff in his veins and he told me as much. He wasn't always confident about the stuff he bought but he was so addidcted he injected anyway.

I'm not in support of "war on drugs" or whatever. I don't even live in the US.

I'm not opposed to legalizing narcotics but most people are unable to handle hard stuff. I don't know what the solution is.

I don't mind paying taxes, they buy me civilization.

[ Parent ]
So it was really the engine oil? (3.00 / 2) (#104)
by D Jade on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 06:36:50 PM EST

Paramedics who treat drug deaths and registrars at emergency wards are the first to point out that the majority of drug accidents are caused by the cutting agents and not the drugs themselves.

One night I got to visit a hospital in the Eastern Suburbs. That night there were two patients there as a result of drug accidents. The first was a school kid who had collapsed after taking ecstacy. The kids who checked her in had brought the pills she had taken and the doctors found they were actually caustic soda or something like that. They burnt a hole through her stomach.

The second was a heroin "overdose" where the patient's heart had stopped. It was actually the washing powder that had stopped their heart. Given that the bag the heroin user had with them contained not even enough heroin for a day's worth of hits.

A class drugs kill. No matter what the hippies on this website try to claim. Anyone who knows a seriuos drug user realises how quickly people succumb.

Bullshit! Why are guns legal then? They kill in the exact same manner that drugs do! It sounds like a stupid argument but it's just a response to a stupid statement. Firstly, drug users who self medicate are the killers. It's their fault for not using the appropriate dosage. Secondly, as stated above, most of the accidents that occur are a result of the cutting agent and quality of the drugs because they are not made in a quality controlled environment. Legalisation would save the lives of many drug users. The taxation collected from these drugs could go into treatment and education programs for users, much like they do with tobacco.

You're a shitty troll, so stop pretending you have more of a life than a cool dude -- HollyHopDrive
[ Parent ]

coke usage is actually a good thing (3.00 / 3) (#71)
by dogeye on Wed Dec 28, 2005 at 02:44:21 AM EST

when compared to meth. I'm pretty sure showering in bleach and amnonia would be better for you thank smoking meth.

Agree 100% (none / 1) (#126)
by wbrianwhite on Tue Feb 07, 2006 at 11:08:09 AM EST

I know a lot of people who've used coke without getting hooked, only know one person who ever got hooked. On the other hand, I know exactly 3 people who did meth without it fucking up their lives. Fortunately I couldn't afford to buy it very often, because it's so addictive, it's so tempting to just keep on doing it.

[ Parent ]
a little late replying (none / 1) (#79)
by wowboy on Thu Dec 29, 2005 at 02:59:56 AM EST

but for me i completely stopped coke after the third of fourth try. never got anything out of it no matter who i got it from (and i heard later i got really good stuff from a local user who uses the same dealer).

i think the difference is i don't "party" as much and it's more of a party drug.

i'm pretty clean right now. didn't have a drop of alcohol all through the holidays either :)

this is such bullshit (none / 0) (#85)
by auraslip on Fri Dec 30, 2005 at 07:31:39 AM EST

or a cleverly crafted troll.

I can see some guy taking this seriously and doing coke. Then thinking he isn't gonna get high the first time. LOL


You really (none / 0) (#89)
by weedaddict on Fri Dec 30, 2005 at 07:20:12 PM EST

don't feel any a high the first time, made me horny though...

Reality has a certain cynical bias - Cattle Rustler
[ Parent ]
So you did get high then (none / 1) (#103)
by D Jade on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 06:22:02 PM EST

Why say you didn't if there was obviously an effect. I think what you're meaning is that the effects of coke aren't really a high...

You're a shitty troll, so stop pretending you have more of a life than a cool dude -- HollyHopDrive
[ Parent ]
first time (none / 0) (#92)
by tannhaus on Sat Dec 31, 2005 at 12:20:15 AM EST

I'll vouch for that.  Snorting coke often doesn't make you feel a high at all.  If anything, it's much like a caffeine pill.

[ Parent ]
My own coke addiction (3.00 / 4) (#91)
by tannhaus on Sat Dec 31, 2005 at 12:18:22 AM EST

Ok, I'll say the blacking out and not remembering anything months later when you buy coke for the first time after trying it that night doesn't fly at all.  I've never met anyone that said anything remotely similar...nor seen anything similar.

As far as snorting enough to kill yourself, I doubt you could afford that...especially working at a safeway.  The most likely scenario is that you'd have a heart attack due to a congenital heart defect or something similar.  I've seen a LOT of people snort a LOT of coke without actually overdosing.  Most cocaine overdoses are done by mainlining...which brings me to my story:

I met two girls in college that were strippers.  I had been sort of sheltered growing up, so I really seized on the opportunity to be around them...and thought doing so made me cool as shit.  Like a lot of strippers, they snorted coke to provide the energy to dance all night.  

I tried it...didn't notice it to be anything better than a caffeine pill.  So, I used it in much the same way.  Do I, at any point, think I became addicted to snorting it? No.  I had slight cravings from time to time...but nothing I couldn't and didn't blow off.

Then, I went to a college party.  I was going into the bathroom with one of the strippers and snorting to stay awake...since I hadn't had any sleep, but wanted to attend this party.  On the way out, a guy pulled me to the side and the girl walked on.  He told me I had been wasting the coke.  I challenged him to show me how to do it without wasting it.  He took me to the bathroom, pulled out a rig, and shot me up.  From then on I was addicted and he became my dealer.

It took a couple of years and a move 350 miles away to kick that habit.

just goes to show you (3.00 / 3) (#95)
by empirical on Sat Dec 31, 2005 at 03:57:08 AM EST

This should serve as a lesson to everyone. Cocaine is only for adults, not high school children.

"For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing." H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Why isn't this story marked as fiction? (2.00 / 4) (#96)
by jungleboogie on Sat Dec 31, 2005 at 12:09:42 PM EST

"I took my first line, felt nothing. Did a second and third, felt nothing. I told myself cocaine was a weak drug that I'd never try it again, I was so wrong."

"In my experience, cocaine addicts are automatically hooked their first time but cravings wont surface for months. It was months after I had tried coke before I tried it again, and I didn't even know it."

Coke will not get you high the first time. (none / 0) (#97)
by weedaddict on Sat Dec 31, 2005 at 04:15:28 PM EST

Others have already vouched fot that (see below). End of fucking story, ask anyone who has tried it. Fuck off.

Reality has a certain cynical bias - Cattle Rustler
[ Parent ]
I call bullshit! (3.00 / 2) (#102)
by D Jade on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 06:19:05 PM EST

Coke gets you high the first time. The problem with it is that the effects are so ambiguous that you don't even notice. I got high the first time I tried coke and others didn't. The first line did nothing. But I did notice that I was drinking more scotch than usual and still staying on my chair. The second and third lines weren't much better, but I found myself wanting to talk about myself for a good half hour afterwards.

People who say that coke has no effect the first time completely miss the point that the effect or "high" of coke is so shit that it's not worth it. It is the most boring "recreational" drug in the western world and I don't even understand why people use it for fun. It doesn't do anything.

Sure, I've gone on binges and gotten so high on coke that I completely lose control. However, the side effects (cravings and irritability) and the expense (we pay a lot more over here) of such a shit drug make it completely stupid.

The only people who gain any benefit from such a shitty drug are executives who need it to get through their meetings.

You're a shitty troll, so stop pretending you have more of a life than a cool dude -- HollyHopDrive
[ Parent ]

I agree. (3.00 / 2) (#116)
by Comrade Wonderful on Mon Jan 09, 2006 at 11:21:03 AM EST

It definitely has an effect on you the first time though you may not realize it. I kept telling people that it was not doing anything and they informed me that I was talking at about three times my normal speed.

[ Parent ]
Bad stuff (none / 0) (#125)
by wbrianwhite on Tue Feb 07, 2006 at 11:04:20 AM EST

Sounds like you have some weak shit. Weak coke just gives you a little pep. Good coke blows you away. There's a lot of variability in coke because it's so easy to cut with any other white powder so you don't know what you're getting unless it's a solid rock or beautiful fishscales.

[ Parent ]
will coke get you high the first time? (none / 0) (#101)
by mrbastard on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 11:58:31 AM EST

"Coke will not get you high the first time." I'm not entirely convinced of this, but since my first was well mixed with glucose and crushed up ecstasy pills I'm in no position to argue. The initial rush may well have just been sugar ;¬) People I know still use coke recreationally, maybe once or twice a year. As far as I know they have no compulsive desire to consume it, but fancy a bit every now and again.

"ohmygod I have a boyfriend" - Wen Jian

I bet smoking crack is addictive... (3.00 / 2) (#112)
by bighappyface on Wed Jan 04, 2006 at 11:10:01 AM EST

...I get this ringing in my ears when I get really high that I tune in to, I can only imagine the so-called train rush you get from a crack ringer...

A shame (none / 0) (#119)
by skim123 on Wed Jan 11, 2006 at 04:44:45 PM EST

I take it a DARE officer never came to your elementary school?

Money is in some respects like fire; it is a very excellent servant but a terrible master.
PT Barnum

so sorry (none / 0) (#122)
by Marvaud on Sat Jan 14, 2006 at 08:18:05 AM EST

I had a very unpleasant experience with a heroin addicted woman years ago. She harassed and threatened my son and I. She asked me to piss in a bottle for her, so she could take the sample to prove she wasnt using to her probation officer. Stupid bitch. Constantly used my telephone. I finally moved away from her afrer she spray painted my fence. Saw her months later and she screamed abuse at me that whe was going to kill me. I might add, I had given her baby clothes and helped her when I first met her, before I found out what a cow she was. Anyway, she committed suicide. Sorry to say I feel little sympathy for drug addicts . I've seen the suffering they cause their families. I've seen them rob their own parents. All that just for a bit of 'fun'. I could never take advantage of people, in the way that I've seen all the 'druggies' I've known and I've know plenty. And they had no qualms in using, and walking over everybody they knew. Why should I fucking help anyone like that? They'd stab their own mothers in the back. Makes me fucking angry. I say, if you're going to use drugs, do it right, overdose first time you use and do the world a bloody favour.

Society makes them criminals to get their drugs $ (none / 1) (#123)
by procrasti on Sat Jan 14, 2006 at 02:51:49 PM EST

if i ever see the nickname procrasti again on this site or anywhere in my life, i want it to be in an OBITUARY -- CTS
doing my best at licking arseholes - may 2015 -- mirko
Winner of Kuro5hin: April 2015
[ Parent ]
Generalizations are bad. (none / 1) (#124)
by bighappyface on Sat Jan 14, 2006 at 10:19:13 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Not an episode of the OC: My coke addiction | 125 comments (93 topical, 32 editorial, 0 hidden)
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