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How to wake up by 6:30 every morning - for the serious procrastinator

By markovich in Op-Ed
Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 12:18:45 AM EST
Tags: sleep wakup sleep (all tags)

Many of us want to wake up earlier in the day. We stay up all day doing nothing but think how much more nothing we could get done if we woke up even earlier. The problem is - we are procrastinators, and we just keeping pushing the decision to wake up earlier till later.

I am a procrastinator! I admit it! I'm lazy, I have zero self control and even less self discipline. My life consists of simply rolling down the path of least resistance.

You know what I've done? I've gone and taken the biggest changes I wanted to make in my life, and modified them so that they BECOME the path of least resistance.

The first lesson is this - how to wake up by 6:30 every morning.


This is not the first how to wake up early article. There are hundreds of them constantly floating past on digg and delicious and reddit. The problem with those articles in my opinion is that they require a little effort on my part. They require me to change something about my fat lazy self, and I simply refuse to.

Are you sure you want to wake up earlier?
Seriously, dude, you really want to wake up earlier? Let me destroy the first illusion that you have - that if you wake up earlier you will have a longer day. No, you will not! Your day length will stay the same, because you'll be going to bed earlier. If everyone you know is awake till 12, then stay up later and wake up later. Nothing wrong with that.

You know how you used to code to 11p.m? Forget that shit if you wake up by 6.30. By 9pm you will be brain dead, as your 9pm in body clock time will now be your 2am.

Why is Markovich waking up earlier then?
I'm waking up earlier because I do software development at home, and I prefer to have my extra hours at the start of the day instead of at the end of the day. I start work by 7, and finish by 6, instead of starting by 11 and finishing by 10. It gives me a lot of uninterrupted time before lunch, and the lunch lethargy does not spoil my efficiency.

Furthermore, I need to sometimes meet with people by 7:30, and instead of feeling like shit at having to wake up at the unaccustomed time, I'm waking up at my usual time.

The meat
I tried many different methods of waking up earlier. The problem has always been this morning lethargy. You are in bed, you are warm and comfortable, you can easily switch off the alarm clock, why get up out of bed! I don't have a boss,  I don't have anybody controlling me! I do what I want!

So I sat down and drew up the battle plans. Morning lethargy is the biggest enemy we have, that is the brother that we have to conquer with whatever system we use.

I figured and figured, planned and strategized, mapped out and refined, till I finally discovered the formula.

Preparatory Step 1
Go get some sleeping pills. Look, I never said we were going to do this clean and healthy, we are trying to make a bloody change here, and some blood has to be spillt. Go to the drugstore and buy some sleeping pills. Just get something light, you'll need only about 7 - enough for a week or so.

Preparatory Step 2
Go to the shop and buy a weeks worth of apple juice or coca cola or whatever your favorite non-water drink is. I'm not talking coffee or anything you need to prepare, I'm talking something that you can keep beside your bed and that you can easily grab and drink.

Preparatory Step 3
Get something you eat for breakfast that is in a package. Something like sweet bread or crackers or so.

The plan
Make sure your PC is in your bedroom with the monitor pointed at such an angle that you can see the screen perfectly. Go to the bios of your pc. Set your PC to startup automatically by 6:30a.m.

Set your alarm clock to startup by 6:20a.m. Set your alarm clock to Radio, preferably, talk radio, not music radio. Put it at the far end of your room.

Download a whole bunch of stand-up comedy routines that you have not watched. Make a link to one of them in your autostart menu. Set VLC so that it startsup in fullscreen mode.

Strategically place bread and the juice beside your bed.

By 9pm on the first day, swallow one of the sleeping tablets. As an optional step, put on some Jenna and squeeze out some tadpoles.

The Effect
Now what happens in the morning? By 6:20, your alarm clock goes on. The guy will start talking. This will probably not wake you, but it will disturb you enough to take you out of deep sleep into a restless slumber.

By 6:30, your PC will go on. This sound alone will wake you up, because of the strong body association between PC and mental work. So you are now basically is a state of light slumber, and left alone, you would fall back into sleep.

But as soon as your PC goes one, the standup comedy goes on.

Well, what happens here. Even though you are half asleep, your brain will listen to some of the jokes, and as soon as one funny joke comes through, your brain will suddenly kickstart, and you will open your eyes to look at the screen. As you watch, you will discover you are thirsty, so you will drink from the water. You will discover your snack and start eating.

So you are there eating and watching stand up comedy and drinking juice. In 10 minutes, you will admit to yourself - aww shit, I'm fully awake.

It's friggin great, and it's such a gentle awakening. It's not like those terrible BEEEP, BEEEEP, BEEEP of the alarm clocks.

Alternative
My original strategy was this - shock myself into awakening by tricking my brain into believing that something horrible was happening. So I put the sounds of people screaming and dying on the PC. Well, trust me, that's something you don't want to do. Those sounds got absorbed into my dream and for some reason, it was my family screaming and dying. Which is a sucky way to wake up on a monday.

Conclusion
If you're a serious procrastinator, this method makes waking up a much more pleasant experience than staying asleep. Your brain gets activated immediately, and you are awake in 15 minutes without any problems at all.

Try it tonight!

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Poll
What time do you get up?
o 5:00 5%
o 5:30 4%
o 6:00 8%
o 6:30 8%
o 7:00 15%
o 7:30 13%
o 8:00 11%
o 8:30 1%
o 9:00 9%
o Later 15%
o Whenever she is gone! 6%

Votes: 86
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Also by markovich


Display: Sort:
How to wake up by 6:30 every morning - for the serious procrastinator | 89 comments (83 topical, 6 editorial, 0 hidden)
Alternatively (2.75 / 12) (#1)
by nebbish on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 11:58:31 AM EST

Just get out of bed

---------
Kicking someone in the head is like punching them in the foot - Bruce Lee

I find turning on my light helps. (3.00 / 2) (#40)
by creature on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 10:28:16 PM EST

Which is weird, as I have a blind that doesn't entirely block out the light, so in theory light shouldn't help wake me. But it does.


[ Parent ]
Um (3.00 / 3) (#65)
by Contributor on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 01:09:02 PM EST

That doesn't actually work.


Contributor
[ Parent ]
Intriguing ... perhaps not for everyone. (none / 1) (#2)
by rpresser on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 12:41:47 PM EST

  1. Many morning radio shows are in large part comedic routines... so if you're accustomed to hearing comedy in the morning, the comedy may be easy to ignore.

  2. Substantial routine changes like this are almost certain to be annoying to your bed partner, if you have one.

  3. Who the heck drinks warm juice?

------------
"In terms of both hyperbolic overreaching and eventual wrongness, the Permanent [Republican] Majority has set a new, and truly difficult to beat, standard." --rusty
It's the combination (none / 0) (#4)
by markovich on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 01:28:05 PM EST

Of different disturbances that wakes you up. Just the radio alone is easy to ignore, but the combination wakes you up.

[ Parent ]
+1, but.. (2.00 / 2) (#10)
by k31 on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 06:27:18 PM EST

I agree with origin-parent's #3 point:

Who the hell drinks warm juice?
Or warm coca-cola?

Do you know how disgusting that tastes?

Of course, you could just put a flask or mini-cooler of ice next to it. That's what I'd do...


Your dollar is you only Word, the wrath of it your only fear. He who has an EAR to hear....
[ Parent ]

Warm cider (none / 1) (#72)
by debacle on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 11:53:11 PM EST

And warm grape juice are the only ways to fly.

It tastes sweet.
[ Parent ]
Warm Grape Juice FTW! /nt (none / 0) (#86)
by grargrargrar on Wed Nov 29, 2006 at 11:42:03 AM EST

Also, cold pie.

[ Parent ]
You might already be braindead (1.33 / 3) (#5)
by Zombie Ronald Reagan on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 01:30:53 PM EST

I get up at 4.30am and by 9pm I'm still awake as ever and it takes considerable meditation-like effort to fall asleep.

So it seems your problem is just that you're a low-yield loser.

fact: you will die young $ (none / 0) (#25)
by skyknight on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 11:48:52 AM EST



It's not much fun at the top. I envy the common people, their hearty meals and Bruce Springsteen and voting. --SIGNOR SPAGHETTI
[ Parent ]
Please to be substantiating this claim. (none / 1) (#42)
by Entendre Entendre on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 01:35:26 AM EST

Could be interesting.

--
Reduce firearm violence: aim carefully.
[ Parent ]

We'll have to wait and see... (none / 0) (#48)
by skyknight on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 09:05:56 AM EST

If he sleeps from 9-430, he may be OK. He was making it sound, though, as if maybe he doesn't go to bed until much later. It is my understanding that much of the physical regeneration that occurs during sleep (for example, muscle regeneration) occurs starting after seven hours of sleep.

It's not much fun at the top. I envy the common people, their hearty meals and Bruce Springsteen and voting. --SIGNOR SPAGHETTI
[ Parent ]
Stupid zombies... (none / 0) (#32)
by anaesthetica on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 06:14:52 PM EST

You're a zombie. Go easy on the humans, Gipper.

—I'm the little engine that didn't.
k5: our trolls go to eleven
[A]S FAR AS A PERSON'S ACTIONS ARE CONCERNED, IT IS NOT TRUE THAT NOTHING BUT GOOD COMES FROM GOOD AND NOTHING BUT EVIL COMES FROM EVIL, BUT RATHER QUITE FREQUENTLY THE OPPOSITE IS THE CASE. ANYONE WHO DOES NOT REALIZE THIS IS IN FACT A MERE CHILD IN POLITICAL MATTERS. max weber, politics as a vocation


[ Parent ]
OH MY GODZILLA (none / 1) (#6)
by Mylakovich on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 02:02:25 PM EST

I wake up at 6:30 every day too!
Markovich is my Eval twin.

Maybe the world should admit (2.84 / 19) (#7)
by kitten on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 04:32:16 PM EST

that if you're not a farmer, there's no reason for you to wake up at some obscene hour of the morning. The idea that everyone has to be at the office first thing in the morning leads to a lot of really unhappy people (not everyone is diurnal, and not everyone's internal clock lets them wake up at 7am just because some arbitrary workplace rule says so), insane traffic problems and associated health and environmental issues, and so forth.

If you're the type who enjoys getting up at 6am and being at your desk by 8, then great! What's wrong with other people coming in later and staying later -- afraid you'll have to wait a few extra hours for your TPS report?

Naturally there are some jobs that are time-sensitive, but most of what humans do really can wait -- they just won't admit it.

Anyway, what I ended up doing at my old apartment was this. Screw all your gentle wake-up and comedy routines. I locked my alarm clock in a foot locker and put the key in my car on the other side of the complex. To turn that fucking alarm off, I had to get up, shower, get dressed, and schlep to the car, then come back, unlock the locker, and turn off the alarm. This brute force approach worked.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
Devo wakes up every morning at 5:30 sharp. (2.85 / 7) (#11)
by givemegmail111 on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 06:55:10 PM EST

You should aspire to be more like Devo.

--
McDonalds: i'm lovin' it
Start your day tastefully with a Sausage, Egg & Cheese McGriddle, only at McDonalds.
Rusty fix my sig, dammit!
[ Parent ]
+1, about Devo (3.00 / 4) (#13)
by kitten on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 07:19:31 PM EST


mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
Gods, yes. (none / 0) (#39)
by creature on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 10:26:59 PM EST

I got reprimanded at work for coming in at 9:20 and leaving at 18:20, instead of coming in at 9 and leaving at 18:00. See, apparently I'm considered crucial support staff and it's vital that I'm there at 9, in case my other two highly punctual colleagues are not there AND all the systems are broken AND we're working on something that can't wait 20 minutes AND it's something that I've worked on and so will know how to fix. This was despite running my preferred arrival time past my boss and him saying it's OK.

I'm the most junior member of my department, so perhaps it's inevitable that I'm the one that gets crapped on, but it would be nice if we could all acknowledge the fact that I'm not all that mission-critical. For the amount they pay me, it's clear they know that, so let's not take disciplinary action over 20 minutes, eh?

[ Parent ]

What gets me (2.00 / 2) (#49)
by kitten on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 10:02:46 AM EST

What gets me is that in any given office, at any given moment, most people are just fucking around anyway. "Office Space" exaggerated, but had a point -- the time spent doing real, actual work is minimal, and most people are there just to be there.

When I was growing up, 9 to 5 was considered the norm. Ever so slowly that became 9 to 5:30, then 8 to 5:30, then 8 to 6, then 8 to 6 and work through lunch, and so on. Gotta squeeze every bit of "productivity" out of our worker bees, you know.

Of course, there is no more actual work to be done -- today people just spread their actual work over nine or ten hours instead of seven or eight. What's the difference?
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
k5 retards (none / 1) (#67)
by army of phred on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 01:55:18 PM EST

quit modding kitten up, you unrepentent asslickers.

"Republicans are evil." lildebbie
"I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about." motormachinemercenary
"my wife is getting a blowjob" ghostoft1ber
[ Parent ]
Run along, little boy. (2.00 / 3) (#69)
by kitten on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 03:37:18 PM EST

This is grown-up time.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
Did you ever try the sleeptracker? (3.00 / 4) (#12)
by shinshin on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 07:17:35 PM EST

It looks interesting: a watch that supposedly figures out the lightest part of your sleep cycle, so you can wake up with the least amount of pain. It gets pretty mixed reviews, though.

Alternately, Clocky sounds fun, albeit a tad perverse.

____
We believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons --Dick Cheney, Meet the Press, March 16, 2003

Alternatively: (2.84 / 13) (#14)
by jandev on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 08:43:31 PM EST

Obtain a child. Preferably a toddler, old enough to climb out of his bed.

I haven't slept past 7:30 in 2 years and 10 months.


"ENGINEERS" IS NOT POSSESSIVE. IT'S A PLURAL. YOU DO NOT MOTHERFUCKING MARK A PLURAL WITH A COCKSUCKING APOSTROPHE. APOSTROPHES ARE FOR MARKING POSSESSIVES IN THIS CASE. IF YOU WEREN'T A TOTAL MORON, YOU WOULD BE SAYING SOMETHING LIKE "THE CIVIL ENGINEER'S SMALL PENIS". SEE THAT APOSTROPHE? IT'S A HAPPY APOSTROPHE. IT'S NOT BEING ABUSED BY SOME GODDAMN SHIT-FOR-BRAINS IDIOT WITH NO EDUCATION. - Nimey

works with cats (3.00 / 8) (#16)
by livus on Fri Nov 03, 2006 at 10:03:21 PM EST

if you feed a cat every morning for a week at the time you want to get up, you will get walked over, clawed and miaowed at at that time always. Ours actually tries to open the curtains.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]
just makes me angry (none / 1) (#60)
by IncubatedVitamin on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 12:19:59 AM EST

my cat is awake at 6am everyday. he just howls at the door and knocks shit over. not a pleasent way to wake me up

[ Parent ]
mine used to claw my mouth (3.00 / 2) (#61)
by livus on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 01:16:00 AM EST

making my lips bleed. Pretty soon she had me conditioned to wake up and adopt a defensive pose as soon as she jumped onto the bed.

The howling is nice by comparison.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]

modifications (none / 1) (#17)
by buford on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 01:00:32 AM EST

On sleeping pills: use melatonin, great stuff and gives you decent sleep unlike other sleeping meds.

Talk radio: Tune your alarm clock to a foreign radio station, so you will be woken up by incomprehensible blathering and won't be tempted to sit and listen.

I have a bunch of computers in my room always on anyway, so the whine of the fans doesn't really work for me..

zHHD's first law of grandiosity:
if a man zeros you, he is a spastic with the scro

melatonin is bad news (2.33 / 3) (#19)
by circletimessquare on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 02:07:53 AM EST

seriously, we don't understand everything about it, and sketchy indications is that it is involved in all sorts of biological pathways you really don't want to fuck with. melatonin is a rather high ranking chemical in the order of regulating things in the body, it has its hands in many other things. so when you take it, you're not just getting some shut eye, you're manipulating a whole bunch of pathways in your body we don't entirely understand yet, know about, and understand the implications of

people used to inject mercury into their dicks to fight syphilis. it worked, sort of... but there is a whole bunch of other implications about injecting yourself with mercury that no one understood at the time. just like taking melatonin to fall asleep works, sort of... but there is a whole bunch of other implications about taking melatonin that no one understands right now

using melatonin to get sleep is the wrong approach. biochemically, it's too scattershot a tool for a specific effect that you want. you want to hit a specific target, and you're using a shotgun. think about all the other biological pathways you are hitting with that drug, when all you want to do is just fall asleep. you should think about those pathways and what you are doing to them

melatonin is the wrong tool for the job, it is really bad news to take melatonin. it's too broad a drug for a specific effect you want

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

INFLAMMATORY TITLE (2.42 / 7) (#26)
by cDiss on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 12:03:59 PM EST

UNSUBSTANTIATED CLAIM

SCARE TACTIC

REPEAT UNSUBSTANTIATED CLAIM

Q E D

[ Parent ]

what's unsubstantiated? (none / 1) (#27)
by circletimessquare on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 12:14:53 PM EST

melatonin effects a lot more than sleep

true

melatonin's effects are not totally understood

true

therefore, caution is advised before taking melatonin

where's the fud? false alarmism? or your false sense of security?

melatonin is not like aspirin. we know what aspirin does, mostly, we know how it works, mostly, and its effects are pretty specific, mostly. so you can mostly take aspirin with a clear mind

none of that is true with melatonin:

  1. many diverse affects
  2. not entirely understood


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO A FUCKING DICTIONARY (2.14 / 7) (#28)
by cDiss on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 12:17:45 PM EST

DEFINE: SUBSTANTIATE

THEN REREAD, BRAIN DAMAGED TRIPFUCKER

[ Parent ]

dude (none / 1) (#30)
by circletimessquare on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 12:28:42 PM EST

you write like you've been taking too much melatonin

or jimson weed


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

speaking of jimson weed (none / 1) (#33)
by buford on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 06:33:27 PM EST

What about the other drugs there are for sleep? I know they sell diphenhydramine as a sleep aid, and that's scattershot if ever I saw. Depresses inner ear function, blurs vision, drys mouth, causes delerium and OH YEAH it happens to make you sleepy as well.

zHHD's first law of grandiosity:
if a man zeros you, he is a spastic with the scro
[
Parent ]
no (none / 1) (#34)
by circletimessquare on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 07:48:34 PM EST

all drugs are like that: a range of effects. and we understand antihistamines and how they work. all of those effects you listed are right in line with an antihistamine. just like aspirin can damage the stomach, but for the same antiimflammatory reason it is also useful. we understand these drugs and what is going on. not so with melatonin

and in fact, those wide range of effects you mentioned? that is actually a narrow target compared to what melatonin effects


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

ok (none / 1) (#62)
by buford on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 07:33:45 AM EST

good point I guess, antihistamines are pretty well understood, whereas melatonin is a hormone and hormonal changes can seriously fuck shit up

I actually didn't do too much research into melatonin except for reading anecdotal reports about how it helps people feel better the next day due to getting a good night's sleep.

zHHD's first law of grandiosity:
if a man zeros you, he is a spastic with the scro
[
Parent ]

for the lobotomized, a rephrase. (none / 1) (#51)
by cDiss on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 12:47:16 PM EST

provide proof of your claims about melatonin or stfu.  

saying something is so

then repeating the claim

DOES NOT MAKE IT SO

[ Parent ]

lol (none / 1) (#31)
by Linux or FreeBSD on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 04:31:02 PM EST

what

[ Parent ]
lol (none / 1) (#35)
by circletimessquare on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 07:50:45 PM EST

what

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
That article actual supports melatonin use... (3.00 / 2) (#56)
by shambles on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 10:37:46 PM EST

...for the instance described in the story.



It seemed to work only for the so-called delayed sleep phase syndrome. This is where you fall asleep too late, though your sleep itself is good.

It does not support the dire warnings you give (equating its use with the injection of mercury), though it does state it shouldn't be used long term (this article suggest use for 7 days so that's not a problem) and to avoid natural melatonin. There are no major side effects noted in the study.

People are more important than Truth - Edgar Malroy
[ Parent ]
notice how he doesn't respond (3.00 / 2) (#64)
by cDiss on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 11:06:57 AM EST

when offered substantive criticism?

its because he's a shitty troll.

[ Parent ]

Please, cts, (3.00 / 2) (#73)
by vera on Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 02:48:15 AM EST

the NIH website deals extensively with the topic of melatonin, going so far as to offer a 344 item Selected References section at the end.  Your contribution is from an advice column in a newspaper from a backwards state of the union.

I know you're anti-elitist but there's no sense in being wrong for it.

[ Parent ]

funnily enough (none / 0) (#74)
by kromagg on Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 05:35:21 PM EST

The NIH article in itself seems to partly support CTS's point. Anyway that's what I thought when I read the 'Safety' section.

[ Parent ]
You're right. (3.00 / 7) (#38)
by creature on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 10:18:39 PM EST

Messing with drugs could make you explain the exact same thing three times over.

[ Parent ]
As though normal radio (none / 0) (#24)
by kitten on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 10:53:09 AM EST

isn't also incomprehensible blathering?
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
if you're a serious procrastinator (2.00 / 8) (#18)
by circletimessquare on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 01:58:13 AM EST

go to k5 and write a story about some random shit instead of actually working

works for me

oh wait... the goal is to STOP procrastinating?

i don't understand

because here you are, writing a story about some random shit instead of actually working


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

I like this piece (none / 0) (#20)
by Cambria on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 05:23:23 AM EST

I can usually get up on time but seriously 6:30 is too early. Anyway, if I want to get up, I leave the blinds open. It's really hard to get back to sleep with light coming in to your room.

Re: I like this piece (none / 1) (#47)
by flinkflonk on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 07:32:12 AM EST

I can usually get up on time but seriously 6:30 is too early. Anyway, if I want to get up, I leave the blinds open. It's really hard to get back to sleep with light coming in to your room.

Note that this works progressively worse the nearer you live one of the poles - since I live north of the polar circle this would keep me awake in summer while I'd sleep through several months in winter. In animal life you'd call it hibernation :)

Also it depends on what kind of person you are, I can sleep ok in daylight and have no trouble being awake without it. I know that I'm quite lucky there, see eg. http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/27.cfm for those who aren't.

--
Verb is a noun, which simply isn't fair. Fair is a noun or an adjective. Adjective is a noun, but can also be an adjective, as can most English nouns. Go figure, which is both a noun and a verb and good advice.
[ Parent ]

so do I. (none / 0) (#70)
by ennuified on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 07:44:45 PM EST



[ Parent ]
The best way I've found to wake up (3.00 / 3) (#21)
by Keepiru on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 05:24:20 AM EST

I have my MP3 player on my PC very slowly fade in music in the morning - over the course of 15 minutes or so.  The interesting part is when I left Shpongle queued up one night.

I woke up tripping.

I think it just caught me at the right moment of REM sleep, but it was a nice new way to start the day.

OMG (none / 0) (#22)
by ljazbec on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 07:02:44 AM EST

I'm so lame I don't know how to set my PC to do that. I never tried so maybe it is easier than it sounds.

Help help help.

What about porn instead of stand-up comedy?

Great (none / 1) (#23)
by werner on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 07:43:27 AM EST

so you toss one off and go straight back to sleep...

[ Parent ]
What, you need porn to do that now? /nt (none / 0) (#87)
by grargrargrar on Wed Nov 29, 2006 at 01:28:35 PM EST



[ Parent ]
Hang on (none / 0) (#37)
by BJH on Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 10:00:20 PM EST

People actually switch off the PC in their bedroom? Weird...
--
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
-- Oscar Levant

You have a PC in your bedroom? [nt] (none / 1) (#41)
by Entendre Entendre on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 01:32:33 AM EST


--
Reduce firearm violence: aim carefully.
[ Parent ]

I live in a dorm. I only have one room. n/t (none / 1) (#44)
by LittleZephyr on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 03:45:50 AM EST


(\♥/) What if instead of posting that comment,
(0.-) you had actually taken a knife and stabbed
("_") me in the eye? You murderer. ~ Rusty

[ Parent ]
Five, actually. (none / 0) (#46)
by BJH on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 07:29:38 AM EST

Although only one of them is on all the time, and the Ultra80 makes a bit too much noise to use it regularly.
--
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
-- Oscar Levant

[ Parent ]
My method (none / 0) (#43)
by nanobug on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 02:21:26 AM EST

  1.  Download a PC alarm clock that plays mp3s.
  2.  Download or rip the song "Who the hell was in my room last night" by the Butthole Surfers.
  3.  Set the alarm to play the track from step 2 at a loud enough volume to wake you.

Its very simple and effective.  You just have to make sure to do it every night.

Used to do the same thing.... (none / 0) (#50)
by nate s on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 11:27:57 AM EST

...with Harry Belafonte's "Coconut Woman" blaring out at me.  I still remember precisely how that song starts even though I no longer use the mp3 alarm or listen to HB.

[ Parent ]
also alternatively (none / 1) (#45)
by assquake on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 05:50:55 AM EST

Are you out of your god damned mind? What you just described can be used as some form of torture.

If you need all that shit to wake up at 6:30, you'll be a lot happier waking up whenever it is you want to wake up normally.

Yes, true, but (2.83 / 6) (#53)
by kitten on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 05:27:14 PM EST

For some reason (see my comment below), "society" has this idiotic idea that everyone is okay with waking up at the asscrack of dawn and rolling into work. Those who have trouble with this are called "lazy".

Lazy, my ass. I'd like to make a deal with the bozos who dare to criticize anyone who can't wake up promptly at 7am to be at their desk by 8: I'll wake up when they say I have to.. if they don't get to go to sleep until I say so. We'll see what's what when it's 4am and I'm still rocking, and they died inside hours prior.

The author of this story has a legitimate complaint, and so do you: If millions of people need all these contrivances and loud noises and shock techniques and alternatives, just to wake up before they're ready because The Workplace demands it, then this is a major problem with society. This poor sod has to suffer like millions of others, for no reason at all beyond the totally arbitrary dictates of the corporate machine.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
Go kitten go! (3.00 / 2) (#55)
by Smokin Juan on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 09:10:47 PM EST

and since you brought it up, how about the grand idea that we put all these brain-dead zombies on the freeway right about the same time! When everyone finally does gain consciousness and leaves work, yet again at the same time, they can gleefully discover that any personal business is shot in the ass because everyone else just got out of work too!

Edison invented the light bulb for a reason and most of this corporate culture is just pissing it away.

[ Parent ]
Yup. (3.00 / 1) (#57)
by kitten on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 11:07:34 PM EST

Mentioned that in my earlier post too -- not only does our inane workplace schedule create millions of really unhappy people, but insane traffic problems, along with all the associated health and environmental issues caused by millions of cars idling in gridlock for an hour.

Good point about the light bulb.

Again, I am willing to concede that some jobs are time-sensitive to the point where being in early is important. And, I'll even admit that some jobs require a very close and constant interaction with others, so there it makes sense to have them all in the office at the same time. However, most people's jobs are not. No one has ever been able to give me a reasonable argument for forcing everyone to adhere to this kind of schedule against their natural rhythms.

So Smith need a TPS report from Johnson, and Smith is an early riser, at his desk at 9am sharp. Johnson is more the type to roll in at noon and punch out at 8pm. Oh horror, Smith has to wait a few hours. What, he can't find something else to do in the meantime?

Let's get real -- even under today's system, where everyone gets to work early in the morning, nothing useful is getting done. There's a good hour or so of shuffling around, drinking coffee, reading websites, talking to coworkers, and generally screwing around. God forbid they come in an hour later; we wouldn't want this valuable productive time being wasted.

It's all the more ridiculous when employers start bitching about arrivals that are ten or twenty minutes late. Seriously, who gives a damn?
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
hell, I show up at 10:30am (3.00 / 3) (#66)
by cDiss on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 01:27:54 PM EST

and I STILL spend an hour drinking coffee and fucking off.

win!

[ Parent ]

good stuff (none / 0) (#52)
by rsayers on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 02:13:37 PM EST

I'm in the same boat right now, I've never been one to wake up early, although I do like getting an early start on the day.  I'll be trying this starting tonight and see how well it works for me.

Here is Mine (3.00 / 8) (#54)
by Gruntathon on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 07:46:21 PM EST

Put your cat in the oven. Put oven on full, and oven timer and you alarm clock on for the same time. That way, you feel morally compeled to get up and let the cat out of the oven before it gets uncomfortable, let alone injured or dies.

It takes some getting used to, but it works.
__________
If they hadn't been such quality beasts (despite being so young) it would have been a nightmare - good self-starting, capable hands are your finest friend. -- Anonymous CEO
If I did that (3.00 / 3) (#58)
by Morally Inflexible on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 11:33:35 PM EST

I'd wake up around noon, going "what's that smell?"

[ Parent ]
And follow up with (3.00 / 5) (#63)
by markovich on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 10:33:33 AM EST

Well, at least now I don't have to cook lunch, I might still make it in time!

[ Parent ]
and follow with (none / 0) (#77)
by khallow on Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 09:00:24 AM EST

Damn, it's like solid charcoal. Maybe I'll dig out a pizza instead.

Stating the obvious since 1969.
[ Parent ]

Yeah, have you ever tried to eat anything (none / 0) (#81)
by Morally Inflexible on Tue Nov 14, 2006 at 02:29:40 AM EST

that has been in the oven for 5 hours at 450? I have, and it's not charcol, but it's still pretty nasty, even if you start with a yummy cross-rib roast.

[ Parent ]
hmm? (3.00 / 3) (#59)
by prokrypt on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 12:07:41 AM EST

"It takes some getting used to, but it works." naw, you mean, "it takes a few cats, but the last one will be lucky"?

[ Parent ]
Bah. Been done. Last millennium. (3.00 / 4) (#68)
by frijolito on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 02:59:11 PM EST

K5 is evidently doomed to repeat itself.

Ad nauseam, probably.

Why not stay up all night? (none / 1) (#71)
by potentialnoman on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 08:38:50 PM EST

Simply apply the ubermann-sleep cycle and you're off.

Well, maybe it's not exactly a matter of 'simply', but once you get the hang of it, everything will move along effortless. For me it has certainly been the ideal way to become a true man of tao.


My problem is not the waking up part of it.... (2.66 / 3) (#75)
by wesfalcon on Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 11:07:15 PM EST

The waking up at the time you set is fairly easy for me. I set up an alarm clock in my computer and set my volume to max - it's SO SO loud, thank goodness my roommate is okay with this. Once I got into the computer to turn off the alarm, I read my emails, check facebook, etc. to make me awake. Okay I'm awake now. Now here comes the problem... instead of using the extra time in the morning to do whatever I have to do, I wasted those extra hours procrastinating on the internet, checking my facebook and all other internet surfing whatnots... bleh I guess I'm a true procrastinator afterall...

comedy worked for me (none / 0) (#76)
by frozencrow on Wed Nov 08, 2006 at 02:30:43 AM EST

i did the thing with the computer playing a comedy routine. worked great.

ok, actually what i did was to crank the volume, leave the screen locked, and set it to play a clip from an adam sandler routine where some guy is saying "we're two guys fucking." repeatedly. and it was not my computer, it was my roommate's computer.

worked great.



Same philosophy, different approach (none / 1) (#78)
by twh270 on Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 07:49:46 PM EST

I'm a lazy sonofabitch too.  I don't get quite enough sleep during the week, and my "default" body alarm clock gets me up around 8:00 instead of 6:30.  I'm doing the same thing as you, conceptually: change the path of most resistance to the path of least resistance.  But I use a different approach.

I know that once I'm up and moving I'll be fine.  So instead of focusing on how nice it would feel to lie there and hit snooze, or succumbing to that lying-in-bed-lethargy, I think about how easy it is to roll out of bed and get moving, just remembering that I'll be fine in two minutes.  Thinking of it in those terms eliminates most of the effort of and resistance to "getting up".  And then I can just do it.  (Yeah, it really is that simple.)

Once in a while I need a little more help.  That comes from knowing that if I get up on time, I can go through my morning routine in a calm, unhurried fashion.  If I hit snooze, I'm gonna be rushed and stressed, and that's not how I want to start the day.

I'm not perfect, but this gets me up on time most mornings.  

BTW I'm not knocking what you're doing; you've found something that works for you, and you're obviously happy about it, and that's just peachy as far as I'm concerned.  Props to you.


Great stuff (none / 0) (#79)
by morgadinho on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 10:08:49 AM EST

Great stuff, congratulations :)

Drill Sergeants (none / 0) (#80)
by Steely Grey on Mon Nov 13, 2006 at 07:07:44 PM EST

Worked for me.

Sergeant Drill. (none / 0) (#88)
by grargrargrar on Wed Nov 29, 2006 at 01:54:43 PM EST

Work for your mother.

[ Parent ]
pretty good analysis and suggestion of most stuff (none / 0) (#82)
by regaudio on Wed Nov 15, 2006 at 11:25:25 PM EST

 also, eat before bed- fruit, whatever.
deeper sleep.
pretty good technique suggested, I use sleeping pills and two tea bag cuppa with radio across room.

gradual light increase alarm clocks (none / 0) (#83)
by matthijs on Sun Nov 19, 2006 at 05:48:37 AM EST

For some people the type of alarm clocks that gradually increase in brightness might help. Here are two:
http://www.hammacher.com/publish/70460.asp
http://www.toolsforwellness.com/62074.html

--
Matthijs

I was ready to hate you and your article (none / 1) (#84)
by Chewbacca Uncircumsized on Mon Nov 27, 2006 at 09:09:56 PM EST

But then you whipped out the drugs so I'll check it out yo.

I slept late today (none / 1) (#85)
by MichaelCrawford on Tue Nov 28, 2006 at 02:53:32 AM EST

when I knew I needed to get up to go to the bank. But I couldn't wake up. Instead, I kept having these awful dreams about trying to wake up, and staggering around unable to walk straight, only to realize I was still in bed.


--

Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy


lol (none / 0) (#89)
by auraslip on Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 08:51:14 PM EST

tylenol pm and melatonin :)

They both work very well, but in differant ways.
Chew them up for faster affect.
Whiskey works well also.
I like to switch between the two so i don't get to used to one of them.

Coke in a water bottle with a top I can open with my mouth is good.  Coffea on a timer is also good.

Lights on a timer work too. Very bright lights! And go outside during the day! Also don't eat before bedtime. Wake up hungry!

Non-24-hour sleep syndrome

The most important thing is plan to wake up. Set a cycle. Do the same things before you go to bed. Do the same things when you wake up.
124

How to wake up by 6:30 every morning - for the serious procrastinator | 89 comments (83 topical, 6 editorial, 0 hidden)
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