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[P]
K5 2006: The Year In Review

By Cambria in Op-Ed
Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 11:59:54 AM EST
Tags: (all tags)

An interesting look at the memorable moments of Kuro5hin.org in 2006.


The trolls:

The first thing that comes to mind in 2006 is the rise and fall demise of Somaudlin (AKA justinesWhip, lostArt and victorianWhore). Somaudlin posted her first diary in 2005 and captivated the k5 ghetto with her wit and female presence. From her marriage problem, her drug problems, constant name changing and her bitch fighting with me, redqueen and dakini, everyone knew who Soma was.

Maude's diaries attracted more comments than most stories but it wasn't all good. We got the impression that soma's husband didn't like her developing website obsession. Similarily, the trolls were getting sick of Soma's constant flow of diaries, comments and name changes. In September, somaudlin promised to leave but gave up the address and password to her blog.

cDiss gradually stopped liking soma and with his IRC buddies, continually threatened Maud hirez and doubted the legitimacy of her story. cDiss also threatened to leave k5 but that didn't last. In 2006, we will all remember cDiss' (natural) perm.

In 2006, everyone began to sit up and take notice of MotorMachineMercenary. MMM surprised the k5 ghetto with two 100+ commented diaries and 3 front-page stories. MMM's troll was painfully simple - just develop an overly confident and masculine personality and offer advice to the nerds of kuro5hin.org. He did this quite successfully with his front page story The Compleat Gentleman: MMM's guide to bitches, buddies and booze.

One person that MMM couldn't help was Lemon Juice. In 2006, LJ got a new shtick after trolling it out with Egil. He became White Russian and then Water. LJ ended 2006 a virgin but hey, no surprises there.

Speaking of Egil, in 2006 he went about to prove his status as a superb troll. He challenged himself to get everyone to hate him in a one month period and then turn it all around the next month. Read about it in his diary here. Meanwhile, he posted a diary to k5 - 'All About Egil' which is up there with the stupidest thing Egil has done. Someone please go give Egil a visit so he knows never to post his whereabouts on the dangerous internets ever again.

Out of no where in 2006 came the dupe account Feklaar. Egil, trying to prove the great troll he is, even claimed to be Feklaar. Feklaar was a great character for the LOLs.

Our resident schizophrenic Michael Crawford will also be remembered this year. He moved to Vancouver away from Bonita, never finished Ogg Frog and started the incessant Michael Crawfording in the diary section. Hell, he even turned down an interview from Google.

User 1419 suddenly came back to k5 after a strange departure as 1318, annoying nearly everyone with his knowledge on everything but posting some good front page stories.

Of course, we can't round out this section without mentioning LilDebbie. This year, he will be remembered for 3 things. 1. Lil deb hacked Soma's blog. 2. Lil deb got fired from his help-desk job (which Egil scarily predicted) 3. Jesus. Yes. Lil Debbie looks like Jesus.

The events:

Very early in 2006, the site mourned the loss of mindpixel.

NIWS was around with his page widening trolls (sorry no links). Soon after, k5 was in chaos when a scoop bug was exposed, giving everyone admin privileges. A story on the front page was deleted.

Speaking of the front page - Rusty decreased the voting threshold from 70 to 60 and finally to 40 (at present) to combat the lack of stories making the front page.

Tex Bigballs Crime detective Story 3 regrettably got dumped. You can see the story in all its brilliance reposted as a diary here. Crime Detective Story 4 is supposed to be on its way.

In other front page news, Tales From The Hive were a standout. Bee-guy even sent Rusty some honey. localroger tried to revive past glories with the new Natalee Holloway story. KingRamsis earns a mention with a story that topped 1000 comments. Ask a pedophile seemed controversial even for k5.

Somaudlin badly wanted to meet the minds from our site and proposed a Chicago meet up. Similarily, Egil wanted to meet his Canadian neighbors Actmodern and Redqueen. On the other side of the globe, yaksok and nostalgiphile are getting excited about their south-east Asian get together. K5ers meeting up in real life is not always a good idea.

This year many k5ers posted their pictures on the site frappr. Check out the location and pictures of many k5ers on this map and add yourself if you haven't already.

Rounding out this section, other memorable moments included the flood of diaries when the mid term elections were on and mybostinks/terryfunk taking over k04ting.

Goodbyes:

Balrson and Tweety.

Highly Rated comments:

bottlerocket - here
truth rhesus death - here
Partialpeople - here
balsamic vinigga - here
localroger - here
cDiss - here
Givemegmail11 - here
Mystess - here
Spooked - here
MrHanky - here
OlympicSmoker - here
Fleece - here
Entendre Entendre - here
Thekubrix - here
Livus - here
Rusty - here

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o natural
o 100+
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o The Compleat Gentleman: MMM's guide to bitches, buddies and booze
o trolling it out
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o here
o 'All About Egil'
o no where
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o here [3]
o here [4]
o here [5]
o here [6]
o here [7]
o here [8]
o here [9]
o here [10]
o here [11]
o here [12]
o here [13]
o here [14]
o here [15]
o here [16]
o here [17]
o here [18]
o Also by Cambria


Display: Sort:
K5 2006: The Year In Review | 117 comments (58 topical, 59 editorial, 4 hidden)
-1 (2.78 / 14) (#3)
by Jobst of Moravia on Thu Jan 04, 2007 at 12:02:01 AM EST

irredeemably shit

---
              __
   .,-;-;-,. /'_\ ---Did this Negro say "Street Moor"?
 _/_/_/_|_\_\) /
'-<_><_><_><_>=\
 `/_/====/_/-'\_\
  ""     ""    ""

hey it mentions me numnuts (3.00 / 7) (#20)
by Tex Bigballs on Thu Jan 04, 2007 at 11:35:25 AM EST

i command you to vote for it or the turtle gets it

[ Parent ]
rip zomfgaudlin (2.50 / 2) (#5)
by actmodern on Thu Jan 04, 2007 at 12:38:15 AM EST

hopefully she'll straighten out now that she's not on khey-5


--
LilDebbie challenge: produce the water sports scene from bable or stfu. It does not exist.
she's already back (2.33 / 3) (#51)
by nostalgiphile on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 12:24:39 AM EST

Ms. Whithery...unbanned and uncensored.

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
[ Parent ]
This is poor (2.25 / 8) (#8)
by United Fools on Thu Jan 04, 2007 at 12:56:44 AM EST

Not a single fool is mentioned...

We are united, we are fools, and we are America!
actually fairly accurate. (2.66 / 6) (#31)
by zenofchai on Thu Jan 04, 2007 at 03:58:29 PM EST

this makes me sad.
--
The K5 Interactive Political Compass SVG Graph
Yeah. (3.00 / 2) (#90)
by waxmop on Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 08:15:53 PM EST

The year in review distills to troll high scores.
--
Saying Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders. Parent ]
Thanks for the recap (2.00 / 2) (#32)
by afed on Thu Jan 04, 2007 at 04:15:05 PM EST

I miss out on most of this stuff

i used to play marvel vs capcom in the arcades (2.55 / 9) (#33)
by circletimessquare on Thu Jan 04, 2007 at 05:42:53 PM EST

a regular crew would meet up to dump quarters

we each had our own style/ characters (i was always sentinel/ blackheart/ venom), and we would often butt heads over various "cheat" styles (fucking cable is a fucking cheap character). things got heated, we would call each losers, but we all loved the game, and we always returned to play, and we became a regular crew who always recognized each other in spite of ourselves. we recognized and begrudgingly liked each other, because we all had the same weakness, evne though we fought amongst ourselves and were filled with self-loathing for playing video games instead of having a real life

then one guy, a cameraman for nbc i think, he made a poster detailing all of our unique styles, and instantly everyone got embarassed for him: who cares, this is so lame. it's a bunch of dorks playing a video game, it's not worthy of such introspection and devotion

so enjoy your metawankery, you fucking losers

(don't mind me, i'm just bitter i wasn't mentioned)


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

Look on the bright side (3.00 / 2) (#37)
by localroger on Thu Jan 04, 2007 at 09:43:07 PM EST

At least this didn't recap something you did like NHFL. For that matter it could have been even worse, at least it didn't mention the search algorithm thing.

I am become Death, Destroyer of Worlds -- J. Robert Oppenheimer
[ Parent ]
what's NHFL? what search alg? nt (2.50 / 1) (#72)
by circletimessquare on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 06:01:33 PM EST



The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
NHFL = (none / 1) (#110)
by localroger on Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 08:04:29 PM EST

Natalee Holloway Found Alive. As opposed to FNH, Fuck Natalee Holloway.

Mentioned, and probably deservedly so, in the story.

I am become Death, Destroyer of Worlds -- J. Robert Oppenheimer
[ Parent ]

MvC2 nerdery... (2.50 / 2) (#55)
by Scott Robinson on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 02:25:04 AM EST

Sentinel / Blackheart / Venom huh? Old school MvC2. Were you in the New York scene? What was your nick?

[ Parent ]
dude: arcade, quarters (none / 0) (#70)
by circletimessquare on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 05:20:11 PM EST

no nick. just a bunch of anonymous dorks at the port authority in times square (after they closed down the big videogame place on 42nd street)

i tried playing at mott street in chinatown a few times but those fucking guys and their fucking magneto fucking cheese always kicked my ass without even trying (dash a little bit, up a little bit, diagonal dash down a little bit... start your infinite combo... lift in the air, pummel with the crumpled aluminum foil super in midair... start all over again... now i'm dead because of one hit!)

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

I liked MVC 1 (2.00 / 2) (#57)
by xC0000005 on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 03:42:16 AM EST

though was the only B board to ever die on me. Never had a naomi so I can't say about mvc2.

Voice of the Hive - Beekeeping and Bees for those who don't
[ Parent ]
i have no idea what a b board or naomi is (2.00 / 2) (#71)
by circletimessquare on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 06:00:19 PM EST

but +3, it's bee dude. bee dude always gets +3


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
CPS II consists of A & B boards. (2.50 / 2) (#75)
by xC0000005 on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 06:07:16 PM EST

Just like CPS1 did, only with neat plastic cases to make swapping easier.  They also added battery backed encryption that died when the battery went out, requiring an expensive "ship board back to capcom and get it rebooted" fix.  Now we know that CPS II was really, really close to CPS I and the main difference was encryption (and access to more graphics, as I recall).  

NAOMI was Sega's "arcade standard" board.  

Voice of the Hive - Beekeeping and Bees for those who don't
[ Parent ]

bee dude blows my mind (2.00 / 2) (#76)
by circletimessquare on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 07:03:15 PM EST

in addition to fucking with bee's minds, he can apparently hack arcade games

the wonders never cease

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

And by the way (2.75 / 4) (#58)
by stuaart on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 05:43:50 AM EST

Saying `goodbye' to Baldrson is mere folly. I've been on k5 for a long time, and he often disappears without mention for periods of time only to reappear like that turd you thought you'd flushed but its brown head peaks from the u-tube and no matter what you do it stays until you're forced to go manual and break the log up with a brush and yes its tough and horrible work but it's one of the perils of the tightrope of being human and doing human things breathing sleeping eating excreting and someone would say are you finished in there and will you open the window when you leave and yes I said yes I will Yes.

Linkwhore: [Hidden stories.] Baldrtainment: Corporate concubines and Baldrson: An Introspective


scatologically speaking (3.00 / 3) (#85)
by nostalgiphile on Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 01:25:54 PM EST

I'd say u have some serious issues with feces, dude. Glad yer not my roomie.

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
[ Parent ]
Well, I +1'd it even though you are obviously (1.66 / 3) (#60)
by Egil Skallagrimson on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 08:35:26 AM EST

angry because I included in the dumbest user at K5 list. I mean, you mention me a lot, but most of it is so ascerbic that your bitterness covers over the facts.

----------------

Enterobacteria phage T2 is a virulent bacteriophage of the T4-like viruses genus, in the family Myoviridae. It infects E. coli and is the best known of the T-even phages. Its virion contains linear double-stranded DNA, terminally redundant and circularly permuted.

Hey don't feel special (2.66 / 3) (#61)
by Cambria on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 09:15:52 AM EST

I picked on most people.

Your vote means a lot to me Egil :-)

[ Parent ]

frappr (2.00 / 2) (#69)
by binford2k on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 03:13:37 PM EST

interesting, I hadn't seen this before.  I played with the map and was surprised to see that I knew (or knew of) a handful of you in real life.

YFI where YFI = adding yourself. $ (1.50 / 1) (#98)
by Scott Robinson on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 04:55:45 AM EST



[ Parent ]
heh (none / 1) (#111)
by binford2k on Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 12:38:06 AM EST

Yeah, you're one of them

[ Parent ]
Duh. $ (none / 1) (#115)
by Scott Robinson on Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 09:01:17 PM EST



[ Parent ]
Doesn't mention me... (2.00 / 2) (#79)
by Psycho Dave on Fri Jan 05, 2007 at 10:27:20 PM EST

Abstain.

Picking a nit (2.00 / 4) (#82)
by MichaelCrawford on Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 12:51:10 AM EST

I'm schizoaffective, not schizophrenic.  While it's true that I have the symptoms of schizophrenia, I also have the symptoms of manic depression.

Symptoms of schizophrenia: paranoia, hallucinations (visual in my case, which is apparently unusual).

Symptoms of manic depression: depression and a euphoric state called mania.  My recent hospitalization was for hypomania, or mild mania.  You don't want to be around when I have a full-bore manic episode.

the "affective" part of schizoaffective comes from the clinical term "affect" (pronounced AFF-ect, not like a-FECT) which refers to one's emotions or feelings.  Manic depression is a disorder in emotion; schizophrenia is a disorder in thought.

(Topical because it's already gone to vote.)


--

Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy


Thanks for writing this up (2.00 / 1) (#84)
by mybostinks on Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 12:26:51 PM EST

and working on it.

/s/working on it/working it /nt (2.50 / 2) (#86)
by MotorMachineMercenary on Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 02:00:23 PM EST


--
Keep banging those rocks together, MMM!
- Kasreyn


[ Parent ]
I got 18 3's (2.00 / 1) (#88)
by trane on Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 03:15:16 PM EST

in this comment.

It's a list of kurons that are important to her. (3.00 / 3) (#92)
by MotorMachineMercenery on Sun Jan 07, 2007 at 02:13:01 PM EST

The comment listed for livus only got four 3's, plus I'm pretty sure livus posted higher rated comments than that this year. Like all women, Cambria speaks from experience rather than intellectual analysis. Hence this heap of nostalgic, Cambria-centric bullshit.

[ Parent ]
I know (none / 1) (#95)
by trane on Sun Jan 07, 2007 at 07:28:59 PM EST

women don't like me very much, and i went off on her a while back heh, but at least she linked to a diary of mine, even if she didn't mention me by name :)

[ Parent ]
I AM IMPORTANT! NT (none / 1) (#108)
by spooked on Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 02:01:55 AM EST



Seriously.
[ Parent ]
fwiw (3.00 / 4) (#89)
by cDiss on Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 04:31:40 PM EST

the admin-hax was rolloffle, NOT niws.

I thought it was Patrick Chalmers... (3.00 / 2) (#93)
by stuaart on Sun Jan 07, 2007 at 06:16:58 PM EST


Linkwhore: [Hidden stories.] Baldrtainment: Corporate concubines and Baldrson: An Introspective


[ Parent ]
six of this, etc (3.00 / 3) (#96)
by cDiss on Sun Jan 07, 2007 at 07:40:22 PM EST



[ Parent ]
I havent been (3.00 / 2) (#94)
by weedaddict on Sun Jan 07, 2007 at 07:07:43 PM EST

here that much, but my comments have a high rating.

Reality has a certain cynical bias - Cattle Rustler
Trolling is gay. (3.00 / 4) (#99)
by Comrade Wonderful on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 11:31:45 AM EST

MMM's troll was painfully simple - just develop an overly confident and masculine personality and offer advice to the nerds of kuro5hin.org.

This was actually a poor troll, even if it was a troll, which it is not.  Given that most dorks are quick to jump on this stuff as an explanation for why they do not ever get any, it's far more likely MMM's persona is actually real, masquerading as fantasy.  He's like a racist white guy acting racist to black dudes and saying he's only pretending or trying to get a rise of of them.

On trolling in general, what in the hell is the point?

You're less of a nerd because you're provocative? Whatever. You're Johnny Asperger walking into a house of Down Syndrome kids and acting like Reno Hightower, who held you by the face and spit on you repeatedly as the girl you're writing anonymous sensitive love letters to is sucking his cock.  What is that?  Lame, gay, sad, pitiable.

You trolls need to be punched in the face more than you already are, by your peers or family members, until you realize society is trying to correct you for your own damn well-being.  I know you want to latch onto your cleverness because it's the only thing you have going for you, but you'd be far better off getting lives.

IGTT 1/10. So damn obvious. (none / 1) (#100)
by Egil Skallagrimson on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 11:36:09 AM EST

You should have taken the trolling is not for me, but whatever role, and then slowly moved into the trolls is teh ghey mode.

----------------

Enterobacteria phage T2 is a virulent bacteriophage of the T4-like viruses genus, in the family Myoviridae. It infects E. coli and is the best known of the T-even phages. Its virion contains linear double-stranded DNA, terminally redundant and circularly permuted.
[ Parent ]

I'm not trolling. What does IGTT mean? (none / 0) (#103)
by Comrade Wonderful on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 12:34:56 PM EST



[ Parent ]
It means you are ETST and you suck at this. (2.00 / 1) (#104)
by Egil Skallagrimson on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 12:43:48 PM EST


----------------

Enterobacteria phage T2 is a virulent bacteriophage of the T4-like viruses genus, in the family Myoviridae. It infects E. coli and is the best known of the T-even phages. Its virion contains linear double-stranded DNA, terminally redundant and circularly permuted.
[ Parent ]

He's Cdiss more likely (none / 1) (#106)
by livus on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 08:11:04 PM EST

if that bit about spitting is a clever riff on one of LJ's stated fantasies then I approve, but otherwise not so much.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]
What is this, Days of Our Pathetic Lives? (none / 1) (#112)
by Comrade Wonderful on Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 01:10:44 PM EST

It's laughable that you keep talking to me as if I'm into troll culture here.  I have no dupes or multiple accounts with the exception of Harvey something a few years ago.

If you are just trying to bait me, you've reinforced my view of trolling.  I've made a New Year's resolution to be nicer to people, so if you want to talk about your problems with an unbiased, concerned netizen, please feel free to mail me privately.  I can probably help.

Have a good one.

[ Parent ]

OMG! Internet celebrity. (none / 0) (#101)
by fluxrad on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 12:14:06 PM EST

Anyone written a story about brewing beer yet?

--
"It is seldom liberty of any kind that is lost all at once."
-David Hume
Is this a joke? (3.00 / 2) (#102)
by Egil Skallagrimson on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 12:33:05 PM EST

Those stories were sooo damn boring.

----------------

Enterobacteria phage T2 is a virulent bacteriophage of the T4-like viruses genus, in the family Myoviridae. It infects E. coli and is the best known of the T-even phages. Its virion contains linear double-stranded DNA, terminally redundant and circularly permuted.
[ Parent ]

Unlike others... (none / 1) (#107)
by fluxrad on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 11:20:20 PM EST

I stopped reading this site every two fucking hours, every 1:30 on the weekend, about two years ago.

Haven't kept up much since.

--
"It is seldom liberty of any kind that is lost all at once."
-David Hume
[ Parent ]
You forgot (none / 1) (#105)
by SpaceMonkeyGrif on Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 07:32:02 PM EST

The biggest one... Floridasun (ask a pedo) is Baldrson.

We have been forgotten (2.00 / 3) (#109)
by Diary rating system maintenance staff on Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 03:10:36 PM EST

The terrorist have won.

b4b0 was released from a long period of (2.00 / 3) (#113)
by newb4b0 on Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 03:15:28 PM EST

incarceration in 2006. Back at the K5 and fellas please lock up your wives and daughters.

.

http://www.netmoneychat.com| NetMoneyChat Forums. No Registration necessary. Ya'll.

and DO NOT put the canine unit on it (none / 1) (#114)
by redqueen on Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 03:36:17 PM EST

I repeat dogs, wives and daughters.

Best "interesting female" (impersonator): redqueen. - sausalito
[ Parent ]
it's been so long (none / 1) (#117)
by Phusion on Tue Jan 23, 2007 at 06:57:37 PM EST

I haven't visited K5 in so long, at least a year.. it was really nice to be able to catch up so quickly. My interest has been captured again, this is some crazy shit.


Fighting The War, On Drugs
Smokedot.org
Drug Info, Rights, Laws, and Discussion.
This is sad. (none / 1) (#118)
by YelM3 on Tue Feb 06, 2007 at 07:47:23 PM EST

What about a recap of the interesting or controversial stories, rather than this high-school-girls-gossip?

I haven't looked at K5 in over a year, maybe I'll check back in next year.

K5 2006: The Year In Review | 117 comments (58 topical, 59 editorial, 4 hidden)
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