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How the trolls saved kuro5hin from the NSA

By mitsu in Op-Ed
Fri Feb 28, 2014 at 09:53:20 AM EST
Tags: NSA, reddit, kuro5hin, consent, CIA, psyops, lulz, Chomsky (all tags)

reddit is currently awash in fear, uncertainty and doubt after multiple attempts at posting links to a new story about the NSA kept getting deleted, posters were being banned, and all of this was being kept off the front page of reddit. The story is about how the NSA and GCHQ are using teams of astro-turfers on social media to manufacture consent, disrupt activists, and destroy reputations and business relationships of anyone opposed to their agenda. These revelations were leaked by Edward Snowden and published by Glenn Greenwald, mainly in the form of Power Point presentations. Talk about the banality of evil. I mean shit, leave it to those boring squares at the NSA to do a fucking Power Point Presentation on how to manipulate public opinion on the internet. As an American, it's embarrassing really. I thought the only people still using Power Point were those over the age of 45.

reddit got too big for its own good, and now every politics thread is an argument with a series of different freedom-defending astroturfers. But that's a story for a different time. The story of today is the story of my people, after the wall. After the trolls came.

Some time in the mid 2000s, there was a large amount of internet AIDs and cancer relating to this website and money. A princely sum of money was raised for this very website. How those funds were then spent became an issue with many users on kuro5hin. This somehow led to a lot of trolling, which drove most users from the site and cause site creator and owner rusty to institute a $5 paywall for the creation of any new user accounts. (Sorry for my terrible explanation, i was pretty manic and unavailable during most of the time that all this drama happened). The consequence is that a site which once had users in the tens of thousands now, many years later, has maybe a hundred users, give or take. In its hey-day, kuro5hin rivaled slashdot, before slashdot was totally ruined. You know, in the before time, before corporations fully ruined the internet.

After the trolls came, the wall was built. After the wall, the good people of kuro5hin left, and it was nothing but trolls. There may have been NSA using k5 back then, back when kuro5hin had a lot of tech geek users. I doubt any of them bothered to stick around though. That's why the trolls saved k5 from the NSA. The NSA needn't worry with a dead, web 1.0 site that does nothing to influence the opinions of anyone that matters. You know I'm not a plant sent by the NSA to monitor all of you because why would they bother?

It makes sense that the American government controls the opinions of mainstream `Muricans on the interwebz because, after all, the American government invented the goddamn intertubes in the first place. If this is a surprise or somehow news to anyone just wow.

Edward Snowden is possibly still taking orders from American intelligence operatives. Who knows. Maybe these revelations are all just part of The Plan. You know, just to show us how futile resistance really is. Like, hey, this is what we're up to, you can't do anything about it, deal with it.

Which brings me to another topic. I created a wordpress blog the other day on a spare domain I had, and I made one entry. In the month that it has been up, it has already acquired six spam comments. I have not posted a link to this site anywhere, I have not added it to any search engine's index, I haven't done anything. Wouldn't it be funny if the NSA was actually sending out all this spam? You know, partly as a jobs program for software developers who constantly get to improve their anti-spam technology, and partly as a way to make money. It's a win-win because of the many geniuses who actually buy things via the spam they get. The money generated from that goes to shell corporations which then add to the NSA's black budget. Just an idea I got from JFK in a dream.

Privacy has always been an illusion on the internet. It has been compromised from the beginning (duh). I'm just jealous I'm not the one making money off of it.

Kuro5hin needn't fear the NSA. After all, we are obedient slaves. We have nothing to hide.


Voxel dot net
o Managed Hosting
o VoxCAST Content Delivery
o Raw Infrastructure


the NSA
o is up to no good 42%
o i don't care 42%
o should hire me already 14%
o jumped the shark 71%
o is just defending freedom 14%

Votes: 7
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Slashdot
o Kuro5hin
o fear, uncertainty and doubt
o the NSA and GCHQ are using teams of astro-turfers on social media
o Also by mitsu

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How the trolls saved kuro5hin from the NSA | 20 comments (17 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
+1FP, (3.00 / 2) (#2)
by k31 on Wed Feb 26, 2014 at 09:31:16 PM EST

If this makes it out, it would actually mark the revival of the site, and the start of an elite force of authors (or "original content creators", to not cause confusion with brand names mostly ghost-written) from "below the bridge".

You know, the same bridge the trolls live under.

Your dollar is you only Word, the wrath of it your only fear. He who has an EAR to hear....

the only problem with that happening is people (none / 1) (#12)
by mitsu on Thu Feb 27, 2014 at 03:28:45 PM EST

other than crawford and sye need to contribute content. then that content needs to actually make it out of the queue and on to the front page.

[ Parent ]
Well, stage 1 complete, (none / 1) (#17)
by k31 on Fri Feb 28, 2014 at 01:58:44 PM EST

although they may be insufficient active kurons to get to FP anymore :(

Your dollar is you only Word, the wrath of it your only fear. He who has an EAR to hear....
[ Parent ]
snowden and his family (3.00 / 5) (#3)
by Del Griffith on Wed Feb 26, 2014 at 11:52:20 PM EST

are CIA.

He got this contractor gig at the NSA to bring them down.

When's the last time you've heard some press on the CIA?  Yeah, it's NSA this, that or the other.

It's all government turf wars.  Notice that he went from Hong Kong, to Russia, and releases all his shit to German media first?  Classic CIA.

Everything in the MSM comes with an agenda.



I...I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. Because I'm the real article. What you see is what you get. - Me

that seems like a good angle (none / 0) (#13)
by mitsu on Thu Feb 27, 2014 at 07:51:31 PM EST

i have a hard time believing in heroes.

[ Parent ]
yeah he's not there for the people (3.00 / 3) (#15)
by Del Griffith on Fri Feb 28, 2014 at 07:55:18 AM EST

the other angle that moron reporter is working on is to ensure that reporters in the future are licensed.  Its all a dual prong approach to control the truth.  And push the NSA out of the CIA's way.

The drug wars.. that shit is going to get really fucking REAL real soon.

I...I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. Because I'm the real article. What you see is what you get. - Me

[ Parent ]

I think Wordpress notifies wordpress.org of each (3.00 / 2) (#5)
by mirko on Thu Feb 27, 2014 at 05:19:24 AM EST

newly deployed instance.

Or maybe is it via delicio.us?

Well, it still might not be the NSA that got your blog spammed within a month.

Finally I managed to make the decision that I would work on it. - MDC
we had to huddle together - trane

indeed you are correct about wordpress either (none / 0) (#11)
by mitsu on Thu Feb 27, 2014 at 03:26:02 PM EST

updating via an RSS feed or another method.

That's how the spammers found me.

But since we can safely assume the NSA/CIA/GCHQ etc are running botnets we can safely assume they are using all that processing power for something.

Why not spam?

[ Parent ]

Voted +1FP by accident (3.00 / 2) (#7)
by cockskin horsesuit on Thu Feb 27, 2014 at 07:15:00 AM EST

Someone please vote -1 to cancel it out.

Okay (none / 1) (#9)
by Vampire Zombie Abu Musab al Zarqawi on Thu Feb 27, 2014 at 12:57:43 PM EST

I wanted to FP it, so I voted -1.

[ Parent ]
OMG, IHBT (none / 1) (#10)
by Vampire Zombie Abu Musab al Zarqawi on Thu Feb 27, 2014 at 12:59:59 PM EST

Someone else vote +1 FP, Mr. Horsey above actually voted -1.

[ Parent ]
lol, u fell for the oldest troll on the site (none / 1) (#18)
by cockskin horsesuit on Sat Mar 01, 2014 at 08:48:18 PM EST

actually, I voted -1 reflexively, after reading the article it's actually pretty good, compared to 99% of the shit submitted to teh queue. force of habit. SP is a good ending for it.

[ Parent ]
Jobst is NSA, infa 100% (3.00 / 3) (#8)
by I Did It All For The Horse Cock on Thu Feb 27, 2014 at 07:34:03 AM EST

  \ \        ^.^._______  This comment brought to you by the penis-nosed fox!
    / /    \ \
    \_\_    \ \

The trolls were the NSA (3.00 / 4) (#16)
by anaesthetica on Fri Feb 28, 2014 at 10:00:12 AM EST

The NSA was afraid of Rusty's Collaborative Media Foundation, and how it would revolutionize socialist politics in the U.S.  They trolled k5 into oblivion in order to prevent our voices (i.e THE TRUTH) from being heard.

Rusty was forced to abandon k5 and join forces with the DailyKos, which was also an NSA creation made to present the American left as credulous, unpatriotic, uneducated, juvenile, hysterical, hypocritical bronies.  Case in point for the NSA's effectiveness and competence.

Thank you Snowden.

—I'm the little engine that didn't.
k5: our trolls go to eleven

Where's the... (none / 0) (#19)
by Calalily on Fri Jun 13, 2014 at 10:12:35 PM EST

Like button?

We are maggots tunneling through a rotting corpse. QuantumFoam
It became self aware (none / 0) (#20)
by dissonant on Mon Sep 08, 2014 at 05:36:41 PM EST

shub-internet.ims.disa.mil became self aware and was recruited to autotroll and astroturf on behalf of the NSA. Probably the greys too, because why not throw in some aliens? Annuit Coeptis, because some Latin always classes up a conspiracy.

Glad I benefited from the "early days" (none / 0) (#21)
by Stick Apart on Sun Nov 30, 2014 at 04:11:13 PM EST

"The last days of freedom", at least for a time?

The old internet, & things that maintain such traditions, are some of the only places worth bothering with on the 'net for worthwhile information/intelligent people. Sure, lots of loons in the marginalia, but better than the alternative.
> "I think it could easily be around 200 million people dead because of gun control." - V


How the trolls saved kuro5hin from the NSA | 20 comments (17 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
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