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[P]
One conservative's case for Barack Obama

By IHCOYC in Politics
Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 09:33:03 PM EST
Tags: Opinion, US presidential politics (all tags)

Let me begin with the observation that "morality" is just the way class warfare is done in the United States of America.

(Caution. Possibly offensive language ahead.)


The earliest moral fusses in the USA were about things like drinking "alcohol", dancing, and playing cards. There are some God-forsaken parts of the country where prohibitions of these things have been written into the versions of folk Christianity practiced there. Of course, none of this crap is in my Bible, and it ain't in yours neither.

It has nothing to do with Christian morality. It has everything to do with the envious eyes of trash dwelling in a hovel in some dark hollow, casting envious eyes at the pastimes of the gentry on the plantation, but consoling themselves in a sullen pride that "at least we ain't niggers." That envy invented these beliefs, which unfortunately persisted after the gentry themselves are mostly gone.

Attempt to muster the poor against the rich in plain English and you're some kind of commie. The other way makes you an elitist, and I am an elitist. Every conservative ought to be an elitist: if you claim to be a conservative and ain't an elitist, you're doing it wrong.

You have to invent a moral issue to do class warfare right in America. This is the secret weapon of the anti-smoking agitation. I support Barack Obama to improve the national character. And specifically, I support him as part of a broader belief that it is necessary to curtail the excessive influence that white trash have come to exercise on "conservative" politics.

White trash. Yes, this is offensive language. I use it to offend, because for the last twenty five years at least, the white trash have been calling me names. It is time to reciprocate.

Who is white trash? It isn't purely ethnic, or purely economic, either. I'm sure there are careful and decent people living in trailer parks and driving pickup trucks. There are two things that distinguish white trash from decent folk.

The first is the perennial chip on the shoulder, the sullen pride that despite their lack of achievement, at least they ain't niggers and ain't queers.

It is this chip on the shoulder that expresses itself in Confederate flags, in queer-baiting, in their evil imaginings that without firearms they aren't real men. They are warlike, for they imagine that international relations is a playground, and they want the United States to be the biggest bully there. They'd rather have international relations look like feudin' in the hills rather than a well policed community.

For the good people of this country, public expressions of patriotism are tempered with good taste. But the trash know that good taste was meant to exclude them, so to manifest good taste is to be "cosmopolitan" and disloyal. Real patriotism doesn't need a flag lapel pin.

We can respect the military while recognizing it for what it is: a necessary evil. It isn't an ideal career choice for everybody, that's for certain sure. Military service is not the highest and best form of patriotism for everyone. Nor is it an indispensable qualification for public office. In times of peace -- and we aren't really at war, either -- it offers a way for people to move up in the world. So it draws people from the lower classes. This is why homosexuals (gasp!) in the military elicit so much talk and so much bad attitude from the white trash.

Kinsey had it pegged fifty years ago. Being queer was worse than adultery or fornication. Don't be fooled by the religious dressing. It's not because of the Bible, which draws no distinctions. It's because they're afraid that being queer means you can't be a Real Man. Queers are social, and get along with each other too easily. A Real Man has a chip on his shoulder.

And so we come to Sarah Palin. She's against abortion. She's against sex education in public schools, except for evangelical calls for chastity. We know they don't work. We know because her teenage daughter is pregnant as a result of fornication.

The media rightly considers this to be her family's business. In better times, it would be. We don't live in better times: we have instead endured thirty years where sexual behaviour has been one of the chief subjects of national politics. And the white trash are to blame.

Just like the perennial chip on the shoulder, this is a defining white-trash characteristic. They talk chastity and breed bastards.

And that's just a for-instance. This is the second thing that sets white trash apart from the rest of us. They have no thought for the future. Their lives are shaped by what happens to them.

This isn't really even hypocrisy. They just have no heed for future plans that would be disrupted by the arrival of unwanted children. In their estimation, the future contains nothing but menial servitude, and teenage parenthood just exchanges one form of servitude for another. The anti-abortion cult is for people who have no futures to save or ruin.

Some people are naturally virtuous, in the classical American sense. These virtuous people generally marry late, and after careful thought. They have guarded their futures, and care for their childrens'. So their marriages are stable, they are careful about sex, and they don't talk much about either. They usually don't need to. And Barack Obama seems to embody these conservative virtues better than John McCain does, and it's for certain sure that he embodies them better than Sarah Palin does.

And the good people, because they're good people, traditionally been too polite to call the white trash "trash" to their faces.

But the overweening pride, moral failings, and cultural bankruptcy of the white trash have been allowed to become too influential, and the people who allowed this to happen were the ones who called themselves "conservatives" and prattled on about "traditional values", while all the time undermining them in favor of white-trash values. Courtesy has failed. And the conservative movement has failed. It's time to tell the white trash that they are trash, that they are in fact inferior, and that their opinions don't count for much.

I am a conservative: and real conservatives are elitists like me. And this is why I'm voting for Obama this year. Whatever else Obama is, he ain't one of them.

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What's for dinner?
o Grits and jowls 29%
o Squirrel 29%
o Possum shanks 17%
o Pickled hawk eggs 29%
o Country fried steak 29%
o Venison chili 41%
o Polar bear liver 23%
o Biscuits and sausage gravy 29%
o Roadkill stew 23%
o Skunk meat 23%
o Deep fried mars bar 35%
o Deep fried polar bear liver 41%
o Collard greens 29%
o Kale 23%
o Arugula 52%

Votes: 17
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Display: Sort:
One conservative's case for Barack Obama | 40 comments (35 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
Hey, a week before he wins by landslide (1.50 / 2) (#1)
by Hiphopopotamus on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 09:15:36 AM EST

is there really any point in doing this?
_________________

I'm In LOVE!

IHaveCrappedOnYourCandidate (none / 0) (#2)
by givemegmail111 on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 09:17:35 AM EST

and am choosing a different kind of turd.

--
McDonalds: i'm lovin' it
Start your day tastefully with a
Interesting (3.00 / 3) (#3)
by jandev on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 09:24:33 AM EST

I was wondering how long it would take people like yourself to distance themselves from the 'conservative' freak show that is rural America. Because, as far as I can see, you (that is the (sub)urban, educated conservatives holding steady jobs in stable industries) have very little in common with what the GOP is identifying as its base these days.

And admit it, for all the OMG OBAMA == COMMUNIST bullshit, he still is a mainstream American politician, which means firmly right of center in a global perspective.

"ENGINEERS" IS NOT POSSESSIVE. IT'S A PLURAL. YOU DO NOT MOTHERFUCKING MARK A PLURAL WITH A COCKSUCKING APOSTROPHE. APOSTROPHES ARE FOR MARKING POSSESSIVES IN THIS CASE. IF YOU WEREN'T A TOTAL MORON, YOU WOULD BE SAYING SOMETHING LIKE "THE CIVIL ENGINEER'S SMALL PENIS". SEE THAT APOSTROPHE? IT'S A HAPPY APOSTROPHE. IT'S NOT BEING ABUSED BY SOME GODDAMN SHIT-FOR-BRAINS IDIOT WITH NO EDUCATION. - Nimey

In Canada he'd be Far Right (none / 1) (#4)
by Hiphopopotamus on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 09:27:42 AM EST


_________________

I'm In LOVE!
[ Parent ]

CANADA, LAND OF PROGRESSIVE POLITICS (none / 0) (#15)
by Delirium on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 12:19:16 PM EST

how is it going with comrade stephen harper

[ Parent ]
It's not that we're progressive, it's that you (1.50 / 2) (#16)
by Hiphopopotamus on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 02:04:33 PM EST

folks are so non-progressive.
_________________

I'm In LOVE!
[ Parent ]

Coming from the land of Rush (none / 0) (#37)
by LodeRunner on Mon Dec 08, 2008 at 08:14:39 PM EST

he has much authority to say so.

---
"dude, you can't even spell your own name" -- Lode Runner
[ Parent ]

Hasn't this been done already? (3.00 / 2) (#7)
by Strom Thurmond on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 10:01:14 AM EST

Oh, yeah, it has.

VEGETARIAN: An Indian word meaning "lousy hunter"

In the Bible (3.00 / 4) (#8)
by rpresser on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 10:11:01 AM EST

Proverbs 20:1 -- Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whoever is deceived thereby is not wise.

Habakkuk 2:15 -- Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to him, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness!

Romans 14:20-21 -- Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

1 Peter 2:11-12 -- Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.

1 John 2:15 -- Do not love or cherish the world or the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him.

As for your pronunciation, definition and denunciation of conservatives: You can slap any sort of label on yourself or on others that you care to.  "Real conservatives" is two words; it does not have any inherent meaning; and there is no reason I should believe your definition rather than Palin's or McCain's or Joe the Lumber's.
------------
"In terms of both hyperbolic overreaching and eventual wrongness, the Permanent [Republican] Majority has set a new, and truly difficult to beat, standard." --rusty

More Bible verses (3.00 / 4) (#13)
by IHCOYC on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 10:52:31 AM EST

John 2:6-10: Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water." And they filled them up to the brim. And he said to them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast." So they took it. When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, "Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now."

1 Tim. 5:23: Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.

Deut. 7:13: He will love you, bless you, and multiply you. He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground, your grain and your wine and your oil, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock, in the land that he swore to your fathers to give you.

Judges 9:13: But the vine said to them, 'Shall I leave my wine that cheers God and men and go hold sway over the trees?

Neh. 8:10: Then he said to them, "Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

Luke 7:33-34: For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, 'He has a demon.' The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, 'Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!'
--
"Complecti antecessores tuos in spelæis stygiis Tartari appara," eructavit miles primus.
"Vix dum basiavisti vicarium velocem Mortis," rediit G
[ Parent ]

in summary, the bible is full of shit $ (3.00 / 2) (#29)
by th0m on Sun Nov 02, 2008 at 02:26:45 AM EST



[ Parent ]
As usual with my book (none / 0) (#38)
by Jesus Christ Himself on Fri Jan 09, 2009 at 09:26:20 AM EST

You can read whatever you like into it. Me and Dad made sure to put in a load of contradictory stuff so that people can do what they like and still pretend to be following my example. That's how you write a bestseller!

--------------------------------------
Bless you my child.
[ Parent ]
Habakkuk ? Apocryphallic Blashphemer! (none / 1) (#18)
by postDigital on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 05:25:14 PM EST

and you callously left uncited, the Biblical Gay Pride Psalms 23:

  • 1. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
    a sheep inf the shepherd's flock...say no more.
  • 2, 3 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
    "YMCA", The Village People
    Young man, there's no need to feel down.
    I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
    I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
    There's no need to be unhappy.
    Young man, there's a place you can go.
    I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
    You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
    Many ways to have a good time.
    It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
  • 4. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
    comforted by the Lord's rod and staff - Aaay Men!
  • 5. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
    Yo Goliath slayer, that ain't oil, and you call it a cup?
  • 6. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
    Heaven's Cabana Boi.


[ Parent ]
-1: delicious copypasta (none / 1) (#10)
by GhostOfTiber on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 10:41:24 AM EST


[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne

Yes. . . . (none / 0) (#14)
by IHCOYC on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 11:11:17 AM EST

I previously posted an earlier version of this on my own LiveJournal page.
--
"Complecti antecessores tuos in spelæis stygiis Tartari appara," eructavit miles primus.
"Vix dum basiavisti vicarium velocem Mortis," rediit G
[ Parent ]
Also, apparently you're still a virgin (3.00 / 4) (#11)
by GhostOfTiber on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 10:47:03 AM EST

'cause raw-doggin' it feels so much better than wearing a raincoat, and for every teenage pregnancy that occurs after hearing about abstinence, I'm sure there's at least that many as a result of "this feels better".

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne

weirdly flawed argument (3.00 / 3) (#19)
by livus on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 06:38:22 PM EST

any free and educated person knows that the condom is not in fact the only form of birth control.

It's mainly the ill-educated who haven't been taught any better who are in the predicament you describe.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]

Attn: livus (none / 1) (#21)
by MotorMachineMercenery on Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 02:10:07 AM EST

This homo is going soft. He is killing us both. HELP ME

[ Parent ]
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION (none / 0) (#25)
by livus on Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 06:28:14 PM EST

I see you got Roger though.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]
Yes. He has now been trolled twice by the same (3.00 / 2) (#27)
by MotorMachineMercenery on Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 06:31:03 PM EST

dupe, and only realised because I more or less told him. Seriously though, what can I do now? MMM has descended so low his K5 rep isn't worth tarnishing.

[ Parent ]
I dunno. You should have been me. (none / 1) (#35)
by livus on Wed Nov 05, 2008 at 04:14:52 PM EST

OTOH Roger will bite and bite until his mexican teeth fall out.

Of course, I personally disapprove of this as it makes k5 more tedious.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]

whens the last time (none / 0) (#22)
by GhostOfTiber on Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 06:58:25 AM EST

you saw a 12 year old girl on The Pill?

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

i don't know about the pill (1.80 / 5) (#23)
by the77x42 on Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 11:45:16 AM EST

but your 12 year old sister was on My Cock.


"We're not here to educate. We're here to point and laugh." - creature
"You have some pretty stupid ideas." - indubitable ‮

[ Parent ]
Gross, you had Tiber's sloppy seconds. n (3.00 / 5) (#26)
by livus on Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 06:29:24 PM EST



---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]
sorry I was out guys (3.00 / 2) (#31)
by GhostOfTiber on Sun Nov 02, 2008 at 07:52:30 AM EST

Your mothers are taken care of however.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

Excellent. If you could meet my mother (none / 0) (#33)
by livus on Wed Nov 05, 2008 at 04:11:24 PM EST

you'd realise that claiming to have had sex with her is a bit of an own goal.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]
that illustrates my point not yours. (none / 1) (#24)
by livus on Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 06:26:15 PM EST

like I said, those not in the backwoods getting taught "creationism" and so forth...

Over here, the legal age to fuck is 16. They get taught about contraception a few years earlier. Morning after pill is free and on-demand, bc pill is subsidised and they can go onto it at a younger age if they're sexually active

Your hypothetical 12 year old, though, is probably from a low-socioeconomic group and is more likely to skip school and to be frightened of clinics, so its much more likely that I'll see her pushing a pram next time I visit Down Home. She illustrates my point, not yours.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]

No, it illustrates my point (none / 0) (#28)
by GhostOfTiber on Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 07:27:10 PM EST

Unless Barack Obama is running for President of Canada, you're talking about the US. And if you're talking about the US, 12 year olds aren't going to have a credit card to buy Canadian drugs.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

Eh. I don't get your logic (none / 0) (#36)
by livus on Wed Nov 05, 2008 at 04:17:37 PM EST

but okay, I'll take your word for it.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]
It's the only protection against STDs though (none / 1) (#30)
by ensignyu on Sun Nov 02, 2008 at 06:11:03 AM EST

Aside from abstinence, and not fooling around.

[ Parent ]
technically not quite, actually (none / 0) (#34)
by livus on Wed Nov 05, 2008 at 04:13:09 PM EST

there's one common std that condoms do not protect you from either.

There is, however, a vaccine. This provides another example of why being open about this stuff works better - we're vaccinating all our young girls for free.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]

Onion did it first (none / 1) (#12)
by anaesthetica on Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 10:47:57 AM EST

I am a conservative: and real conservatives are elitists like me. And this is why I'm voting for Obama this year. Whatever else Obama is, he ain't one of them.

HIREZ

—I'm the little engine that didn't.
k5: our trolls go to eleven
[A]S FAR AS A PERSON'S ACTIONS ARE CONCERNED, IT IS NOT TRUE THAT NOTHING BUT GOOD COMES FROM GOOD AND NOTHING BUT EVIL COMES FROM EVIL, BUT RATHER QUITE FREQUENTLY THE OPPOSITE IS THE CASE. ANYONE WHO DOES NOT REALIZE THIS IS IN FACT A MERE CHILD IN POLITICAL MATTERS. max weber, politics as a vocation


One can still find fault (none / 1) (#32)
by paxman on Sun Nov 02, 2008 at 09:46:54 PM EST

with BO's economic plan and be the 'intellectual conservative' that you describe.

Or, perhaps, one can simply analyze BO's actual achievements and come to a fairly negative conclusion.

Ever since getting into the Senate, arguably his best qualification, all he has done is campaign. He is just a politician. He hasn't been around long enough nor has he shown any inclination to be a Statesman.

No, McCain isn't bringing a whole lot more to the table either regarding policy.

I have a chip on my shoulder (none / 0) (#39)
by Ron Paul on Tue Jan 27, 2009 at 12:46:40 PM EST

and an ambigous sexuality to boot.

This [Ron Paul] Diary! has brought Kuro5hin back to life! HUZZAH


joke's on you (none / 0) (#40)
by iggymanz on Sun Dec 27, 2009 at 02:30:58 AM EST

Now that it's about a year into the BHO presidency, we've all found that Obama is every bit as much the porch nigger of the fat cat Oligarchy that Bush and Cheney ever were.  Continued war without end in Afghanistan and elsewhere even though those that attacked us are long gone from there, any disgruntled farmer who picks up a gun is now a "Taliban".  But the war continues to line the pockets of Cheney and his ilk.

Note no public option to the health care plan.  Instead we'll have a massive injection, a bailout, for the insurance industry and the big pharmy and the health care chains so the positive feedback loop of spiralling prices can continue so an even greater percent can go into someone's pocket.  

Warrant-less wiretap and other encroachments to our liberty, Obama is all for it.

Bailout for the Oligarchy, Obama continues the Bush plan.  Forget the common man and small business that make up 70% of the economy, instead prop up failed business of the ruling class and stick those little peons with the debt.

"Change We Can Believe In", bwahaha.  Same-o Same-o!

One conservative's case for Barack Obama | 40 comments (35 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
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