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Sandra Fluke Might Not Be a Fucking Slut

By messybuu in Politics
Sat May 26, 2012 at 01:34:50 AM EST
Tags: Sandra Fluke, Science (all tags)
Science

After Rush Limbaugh called law student Sandra Fluke a slut, pundits from all over the media took to arms either to defend Ms. Fluke or brandish her with a scarlet A, but while everybody had an opinion, only LilDebbie of kuro5hin supported his argument with scientific evidence. He makes a damning argument against the girl using mathematical equations based on government studies and scientific findings to prove that Fluke participates in sexual intercourse at least four times per week. On the surface, such an active sexual lifestyle warrants Fluke the title of "slut", but in actuality, that might not be the case at all.


The word "slut" implies that Fluke fucks multiple men, but has that been established? Have past sexual partners come out in legions to confirm Limbaugh's accusation? Not yet, which means another hypothesis is possible: Fluke fucks nonstop, yes, but she's fucking the same man four times a week.

If true, how would Sandra Fluke be a slut? Fucking one man exclusively, even like a horny nymphomaniac, is uncharacteristic of the slut. If anything, it proves Sandra Fluke is a mature young woman worthy to call herself a student of law, because she does not indulge in carnal acts of debauchery but instead in a loving, monogamous relationship.

Conservatives will argue that having sex four times week is still too frequent, which is a ridiculous argument rooted in the Victorian Age. The average male masturbates once per day. Do you expect me to believe that these men would not fuck the brains out of a hot piece of ass like Sandra Fluke every moment they got? Of course not. The fact is that masturbation is sex, so if frequent, daily sex is only characteristic of a slut, then everybody is a slut. If men can fuck everyday, then why shouldn't women? To argue that it's unbecoming of a woman to indulge in physical relations repeatedly is outdated, sexist thinking that should stay in the nineteenth century.

Yes, Sandra Fluke likes to fuck like a starved succubus--she probably has a dick in her mouth as you're reading this--, but it's unfair to call her a slut without any evidence to back up the claim. Frankly, it's libel and any site that would publish such hate speech deserves to be sued for all the yachts they're worth.

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Poll
Who has probably fucked Sandra Fluke?
o Crawford, of course. 40%
o LilDebbie 26%
o rusty 53%
o HollyHopDrive 46%
o trane 13%
o NIWS 20%
o messybuu 26%
o The Bee Guy 40%
o Rush Limbaugh 13%
o John Edwards 13%
o Ron Jeremy 20%
o Peter North 20%
o Barack Obama 46%
o Charlie Sheen 26%
o WIPO 20%

Votes: 15
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Kuro5hin
o Also by messybuu


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Sandra Fluke Might Not Be a Fucking Slut | 23 comments (22 topical, 1 editorial, 0 hidden)
OH SNAP!!!!!!!1111 WHAT NOW DEBBIE (3.00 / 5) (#2)
by balsamic vinigga on Thu May 24, 2012 at 10:06:14 AM EST

WHERE IS YOUR METICULOUS RESEARCH AND MATHEMATICAL FORMULAE NOW?

---
Please help fund a Filipino Horror Movie. It's been in limbo since 2007 due to lack of funding. Please donate today!
monsier buu is entitled to his opinion (none / 1) (#7)
by LilDebbie on Thu May 24, 2012 at 08:11:23 PM EST

just as miss fluke is entitled to get fucked. what they are not entitled to is government subsidy.

would you not consider it constitutional overreach, indeed state-run propaganda, were that fat canadian employed by our own federal government to spread spurious arguments over this our internets? i think not! and just as our hard-earned tax dollars should not line the pockets of bohemian toronti, neither should they line the shafts endlessly slamming in and out of that overused cunt.

this is america, god damnit!

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]

Funny; (3.00 / 2) (#8)
by Pentashagon on Thu May 24, 2012 at 09:04:29 PM EST

I thought this was about what private corporations provide to their privately employed employees.

e.g. "You can have your paycheck, but oh you can't actually use part of it to buy birth control because we hate women"

I'm just angry employers provide health care in the first place.  The entire problem would go away if they bumped salaries by ~20% and left employees to the ravages of the private health insurance system.

Everyone would spend the extra 20% on an Escalade and then die of an infected hangnail and I could take their stuff.

[ Parent ]

agreed (none / 1) (#14)
by LilDebbie on Thu May 24, 2012 at 09:41:34 PM EST

government intervention is what fucked us in the first place and, unlike sandra fluke, i do not enjoy getting fucked.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
LilDebbie (none / 0) (#23)
by ShiftyStoner on Tue Oct 30, 2012 at 10:10:06 PM EST

You're a Slut.
( @ )'( @ ) The broad masses of a population are more amenable to the appeal of rhetoric than to any other force. - Adolf Hitler
[ Parent ]
you may be right (none / 0) (#9)
by N0574 on Thu May 24, 2012 at 09:17:53 PM EST

but I'd still prefer our government spent money on preventing the birth slobbering idiots to having it spend money on bombers and Israel subsidies.

- NCCTG N0574 CANCER PROTOCOL
[ Parent ]
But what would Jesus prefer? (3.00 / 2) (#12)
by messybuu on Thu May 24, 2012 at 09:27:27 PM EST

I think we know the answer. cough He's a Jew. cough

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[ Parent ]
i'm all for government subsidized sterilization (3.00 / 2) (#15)
by LilDebbie on Thu May 24, 2012 at 09:42:33 PM EST

hell i'd donate

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
then why not free condoms? (none / 0) (#16)
by N0574 on Thu May 24, 2012 at 09:44:24 PM EST

class war?

- NCCTG N0574 CANCER PROTOCOL
[ Parent ]
condoms are effective at preventings STDs (none / 1) (#17)
by LilDebbie on Thu May 24, 2012 at 11:01:21 PM EST

not pregnancy. to wit, you go out on an one night stand with some bar skank, you make damn sure it's wrapped up nice and tight.

you and your girlfriend of six months are sitting on the couch and some nice titties flash across the teevee, not so much.

i want to promote death, not life. where have you been?

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]

I agree! (3.00 / 2) (#21)
by /dev/trash on Sat May 26, 2012 at 12:28:30 PM EST

I hope to see Exxon/Mobil give up their money, and Big AgriBusiness too.

---
Updated 02/20/2004
New Site
[ Parent ]
you probably had a dick in ur mouth (3.00 / 7) (#3)
by Marvin Suggs on Thu May 24, 2012 at 10:13:12 AM EST

when you were writing this.
<>|<>
   .0. gimme a bitcoin: 1M9vApgDo5Dw45Awfem75mrVtMJvaMKpjy
I lol'd (3.00 / 2) (#4)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Thu May 24, 2012 at 05:55:31 PM EST

+1FP


"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
She is or was a 30 yr old law student (2.50 / 4) (#5)
by tdillo on Thu May 24, 2012 at 07:52:59 PM EST

I'm sure she had more than one professor.

Those grades ain't gonna raise themselves.

ergo she is a slattern, a trollop, in short a slut.

I may not agree with what you say but I'll defend to the death your right to go fuck yourself.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

the cultural mores argued by monsier buu (3.00 / 2) (#6)
by LilDebbie on Thu May 24, 2012 at 08:03:45 PM EST

are open to a host of semantic and subjective criticisms. this is why i limited myself to strictly objective metrics.

to wit, one might argue (and i will) that nymphomaniacs are incapable of remaining loyal in the event of prolonged separation. in ms. fluke's case, i imagine her resolve would falter in a matter of days given her known proclivities. while such a sex starved cum bucket might achieve a sort of loyalty in a polyamorous relationship where teams of committed male companions satisfied her nigh bottomless lust for cock, many would still consider such an arrangement of dicks centered around the axis of a slut, however loyal those spokes may be.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

Debs channeling MDC channeling Jonathan Swift? (none / 0) (#10)
by N0574 on Thu May 24, 2012 at 09:20:22 PM EST

rusty, just look at what has become K5...

- NCCTG N0574 CANCER PROTOCOL
[ Parent ]
fuck that (none / 1) (#13)
by LilDebbie on Thu May 24, 2012 at 09:40:07 PM EST

i'm og

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
persuasive, rhetorically sophisticated argument (none / 1) (#11)
by N0574 on Thu May 24, 2012 at 09:26:31 PM EST

Nymphomaniacal succubus yes, slut no.

Voting +1FP.

- NCCTG N0574 CANCER PROTOCOL

Rush Limbaugh is an impotent old fart (3.00 / 2) (#18)
by Harry B Otch on Fri May 25, 2012 at 07:56:43 AM EST

That's a known, provable fact.  He was busted with illegal ViagraTM pills coming back from a sexual tourism vacation in Costa Rica.  Sandra Fluke just gripes his cookies because she can have sexual intercourse without the aid of artificial lubricants.

Girl-on-girl sex is the best form of contraception by far--and it won't cost taxpayers a dime, so any politician worth his salt needs to start advocating it.  I still won't vote for them, but seeing their wives dyking each other out would at least make me believe in American democracy again.

-----
A lamentable petty bourgeois cry of fear.-.

Mike Crawford for Clark County Commissioner District 1 North County

I've been saying that since the first article nt (none / 0) (#19)
by Corwin06 on Fri May 25, 2012 at 07:20:33 PM EST


"and you sir, in an argument in a thread with a troll in a story no one is reading in a backwater website, you're a fucking genius
--circletimessquare
Should've sent it to the queue (none / 0) (#20)
by messybuu on Fri May 25, 2012 at 11:58:21 PM EST

Now I'm gonna steal your glory!

Sent from Siri using my iPhone 4S. Buy one today!

Powered by the love of Christ.


[ Parent ]
wipo: bill clinton (none / 0) (#22)
by mirko on Mon Jun 04, 2012 at 02:43:27 PM EST

but if she got fucked by a (what's the male equivalent for slut, BTW?), does it make her a slut or an innocent victim?
--
Finally I managed to make the decision that I would work on it. - MDC
we had to huddle together - trane
Sandra Fluke Might Not Be a Fucking Slut | 23 comments (22 topical, 1 editorial, 0 hidden)
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