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[P]
Techno-Filk IV - The Return of Insanity

By jd in Technology
Wed May 09, 2001 at 01:33:05 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)
Humour

Filking originated as the art of creating "Folk Music" with a technological, sci-fi or fantasy theme, using original or borrowed music. These days, all forms of music with such themes are considered filk....


Discussing filk, though, can get boring after a while, so what I'm proposing here is that readers create some. The sillier, the better, although serious filk is good too.

If you're still completely in the dark on what this is about, here's a rough & ready filk I wrote, oh, 5 minutes ago and got me thinking about this. (Note: This is NOT for the purpose of a KDE vs Gnome flame-fest. This is JUST a song, not a political or programming statement. GOTO 10 is a statement.)

(To the tune of Iron Maiden's "Running Free")

GTK,
Glib too,
Pengo's running,
Tests went through.
Got the rest,
Nearly done,
Booting X,
Having fun, yeah!

(chorus)

I'm running Gnome, yeah,
I'm running Gnome.
I'm running Gnome, yeah,
I'm running Gnome.

Taskbar's full,
Of Applet code,
I'm running in
A hi-res mode.
The CPU's
In overload,
In 15 seconds,
It will explode, yeah!

(chorus)

Set my DISPLAY!

(heavy guitar riffs)

(chorus)

Tried Motif,
Installed E,
Ran OpenLook,
And KDE.
But Gnome's code tree,
It's plain to see,
Has what I want,
That's fine with me, yeah!

(chorus)

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Techno-Filk IV - The Return of Insanity | 30 comments (25 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
Yes its insane, but fun (4.60 / 5) (#1)
by WinPimp2K on Fri May 04, 2001 at 04:22:35 PM EST

And it took me five minutes also. The name of the real song is left as an exercise for the reader.
Get your 'puter running
On the data highway
Takin' every cookie
In whatever links they say

Bill Gates is gonna make it happen
Take the world in a smug embrace
Extend all the web standards and
Conquer cyberspace

I like ads and web bugs
Racin' to the e-store
thinkin' with the herd now
Oh save me please Carnivore

Bill Gates is gonna make it happen
Take the world in a smug embrace
Extend all the web standards and
Conquer cyberspace

Like a true guvmint's child
We were born, born to be filed
We can surf to buy
Thinkin' never oughta try
Born to be filed
Born to be filed



I did not know you called it that (4.66 / 6) (#2)
by dzimmerm on Fri May 04, 2001 at 04:54:36 PM EST

I had a friend who used to do what I called Lyricise. Inventing lyrics to popular songs that conveyed a funny or useful message. One of my favorites was developed due to the several trips we took from Ohio to Virginia in the late 1980's.

Bumpy Roads (Country Roads take off)

Very treacherous, Pennsylvania,
Open pit pot holes, stranger to smooth asphalt,
You'll get rattled, shaken to the bone,
Lanes disappear abruptly, watch for falling stone.

Take me home, bumpy roads, from the state,
No car belongs.
Pennsylvania, truckers nightmare.
Take me home, bumpy roads.

Many other stanzas's followed which I can not recall at the moment.

He also had Rocky Mountain Spotted fever high and
Others that memory has dimmed. I always figured that the quality of these works were similar to that of puns, terrible but compelling.

I think this is a nice light topic for a Friday.

dzimmerm


Here's a little ditty. (4.80 / 5) (#3)
by kitten on Fri May 04, 2001 at 05:54:21 PM EST

I've been doing this for about two years now, mostly as a way to make fun of harb. There's more available on my website, if harb ever gets around to fixing it. Most of them are Eminem knockoffs, and none of them are anything to get excited about, but I thought I'd spam one anyway. (aside to Bryan: yes, we had a deal, so don't say anything.)

This one was my first attempt. To the tune of Will Smith's "Men In Black":


It's the GIBs, here come the GIBs. Uh, uh.

Here come the Geeks In Black. GNU defenders.
Here come the Geeks In Black. Linux dorks, remember?

The weird guys dress in black, remember that, just in case we ever DCC to make contact.
The title held by me, GIB, means what you think you saw you did not see.
And just like Windows off the hard drive was gone, black suits with the mirror shades on.
Talk in BitchX, type in silence, guard against Microsoft monopoly violence.
But yo, we ain't on no nightclub's list. Our party skills straight up don't exist.
Saw Windows crash? Watch your back. Cause you never quite know where the GIBs is at.

Here come the Geeks In Black. GNU defenders.
Here come the Geeks In Black. Linux dorks, remember?

Now, from the deepest and the darkest night, apps bright fill the monitor's light.
Netcams zoom, armies in bubbles doom, and then like boom, buncha geeks fill the room.
We're the quickest, talk with the witnesses.
Equalizer, Rasterizer.
We're the first, last, and only line of defense against the ICMPs of the universe.
So don't fear us, cheer us.
If you ever get near us, don't jeer us.
We're fearless.
GIBs syndroppin' up connections
"Whassat stand for?"
Geeks. In. Black.

Let me see you just smurf with me, just smurf with me, just smurf with me,
come on and let me see you just config with me, just config with me, now config with me,
c'mon and let m'see you just iptraf with me, just iptraf with me, just iptraf it with me, and make your mouse click.
Now freeze.

Here come the Geeks In Black. GNU defenders.
Here come the Geeks In Black. Linux dorks, remember?

Alright, check it. Let me tell you this in closing. I know at first we might seem imposing.
But trust me, if we ever reset your connection: Believe me, it's for your own protection.
Cause we see logs that you need not see, and we go to cons where you need not be.
So go with your life, forget that Windows crap, just show up and become a Geek In Black.

mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
Missing lines (none / 0) (#8)
by rafelbev on Fri May 04, 2001 at 08:34:32 PM EST

You have some missing lines after:
Equiliser Rasterizer.

Would be cool if you fix it. Its great. I actually played the CD while singing along with it to get the most of the laugh :-)

Cheers



[ Parent ]
and here's some old-time Sabbath.. (4.00 / 1) (#4)
by Zero Whitefur on Fri May 04, 2001 at 06:20:31 PM EST

Revolution in their minds - the children start to code
Against the world which they have to live in
Oh! The hate for MS that they show
They're tired of being pushed around and told just what to do
They'll fight the world until they've won and open source comes flowing through

Children of tomorrow live in the Windows that crash today
Will the Sunrise of tomorrow bring in security in any way?
Must the world live in the shadow of Microsoft fear?
Can they win the fight for free software or will they disappear?
So you children of the world, listen to what I say
If you want a better place to live in, spread the source today
Show the world that OSS is still alive, you must be brave
Or you children of today are Children of the Grave, Yeah!


Call me Bill (4.68 / 16) (#5)
by rusty on Fri May 04, 2001 at 06:50:49 PM EST

I was actually thinking about this earlier today, spurred by this story, and ESR's pre-response which included the phrase "hints and allegations," so, to the tune of Paul Simon's You can call me Al...

You can call me Bill

Bill walks down the street,
He says, Why is the market soft in the middle now?
Why is it soft in the middle?
Selling OSes is so hard!
I need to keep the monopoly,
I've got a shot with .NET
It won't end up a protocol
In a protocol graveyard

Golddigger, Golddigger
Dogs in Redmond
Far away from ESR's door
Worship Bill, will we? Bill, will we?
Get the GPL away from me!
You know, I don't find these geeks amusing anymore...

If you'll be my enemy,
You and your GPL!
I can call you Eric,
And Eric when you call me,
You can call me Bill.

Bill walks down the street,
He says, Gotta get the press's attention
They got a short little span of attention
And this press release is so long!
Where's my developer community?
What if we die here?
What'll be my business model?
Now that my business model is ...
Gone, gone,
He ducked behind the podium
with some roly-poly little exec VP
All along, along,
They spun fear and uncertainty,
there were hints and allegations...

If you'll be my enemy,
You and your GPL!
I can call you Eric,
And Eric when you call me,
You can call me Bill.
Call me Bill...

[flute solo composed by Brian Eno and performed on a Mac]

Bill walks down the street,
It's a street in a strange world,
Maybe it's the Free World,
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak Objective-C
Collects no license fee
He is a foreign man,
He is imagining the sound, sound ....
of cattle in the marketplace
buying into his vision of The Road Ahead.
He looks around, around,
He sees better software architecture
Spinning in the internet,
He says Unamerican! and Communist!

If you'll be my enemy,
You and your GPL!
I can call you Eric,
And Eric when you call me,
You can call me Bill.
Call me Bill...


____
Not the real rusty

Thanks! (3.00 / 1) (#6)
by Speare on Fri May 04, 2001 at 06:57:51 PM EST

That's one of my favorite songs... thank you so much for spinning filk on it that didn't suck. Hilarious!
 
[ e d @ e x p l o r a t i . c o m ]
[ Parent ]

Link to prior submission... (4.00 / 2) (#7)
by Speare on Fri May 04, 2001 at 07:01:36 PM EST

Since I'm feeling particularly uninspired lyrically tonight (got my head stuck on some visual artwork instead), I'll just link to my prior K5 posting.

RIAA's "Every File You Take", to the tune of "Every Move You Make" by the Police.
 
[ e d @ e x p l o r a t i . c o m ]

Code not Food (4.00 / 2) (#9)
by DrEvil on Fri May 04, 2001 at 09:15:23 PM EST

This is my first attempt at a Filk song. It is sung to the tune of Bombs not Food by the Black Halos. The original lyrics can be found here.
0001
0010
0011
0100

Bill said "You're always broke"
I said "Well duh, I know"
He said "Open source is a joke"

I've got lots of bandwidth, and hard drive space
an operating system made by Linus instead
But Billy thinks the GPL is dead

Now I'm a Microsoft drone
and my systems are crash prone
Now I can't go home
I have to reboot again...

Chorus:
Can't afford to browse
Can't afford to host
Can't afford to surf
Can't afford to post
I can't afford code in my life
Can't afford to write
Can't afford to roast
Can't afford to surf
Can't afford to post
I can't afford code in my life

They said "It only goes to show"
I said "Well duh, I know"
They said "Open source is better you know"
I've got an empty disk in an empty drive
an empty buffer crying code not food
I guess our Microsoft corp. was doomed

Now I'm a Microsoft drone
and my systems are crash prone
Now I can't go home
I have to reboot again...

rep't chorus
Can't afford to end
Can't afford to start
Can't afford to code
This f**king bloat
Maybe I should work on GPL software instead


For the Microsoft (none / 0) (#11)
by DrEvil on Sat May 05, 2001 at 01:17:58 AM EST

Sung to the tune of For the Moment by Gob.

Go away, I'm afraid
the GPL will take our business away
I have no faith, I've seen
the dot com's fail every day

But I tell you this for survival
and I know Windows for Dummies is your bible

The GPL: for the moment
will destroy our company

By the way, the things we say
Freak you out and make you go out of your shell
We feel no shame
Well will turn our back, PHB's will walk away

But I tell you this for survival
and I know Windows for Dummies is your bible


[ Parent ]
Computer Songs and Poems page (5.00 / 6) (#10)
by mbrubeck on Sat May 05, 2001 at 12:06:51 AM EST

There are some real gems among the mass of computer songs and poems at poppyfields.net. Some of the very best are
  • User, to the tune of "Loser" by Beck
  • The Longest Path, a true classing among algorithms researchers
  • Bye Bye Unix, the best of the American Pie take-offs
  • A Better Model, by a poet truly qualified to parody Gilbert and Sullivan
  • Berkelian Rhapsody, apparently by a systems programmer with way, way, way too much free time


I've got a few up my sleeve... (5.00 / 1) (#12)
by Perpetual Newbie on Sun May 06, 2001 at 03:17:27 AM EST

Five minutes? Eek, that is insanity. There are some I can't finish after three years, guess it's just a matter of when the inspiration hits you. Here're a bunch I've done, not all are nerdy but far too many are..


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

To the tune of:
Sugar Ray - Fly

All around the world, fast food looks good to me
You know how much I love food
But I just need a snack, I am not that hungry
So I head to McDonalds
Some fries should make me full
(And I say)

IIIIIIIIII just want some fries
No, I don't want a hamburger,
No, I don't want a Coke either
IIIIIIIIII just want some fries
You might say that they're bad for me
But the taste will drive you crazy.. Yeah

Munch a little faster
Soon they'll disappear
The taste will take you hostage, want to chew them again
When I want something to eat
I head across the street
Soon I will be full
'Cause there's a McDonalds

(And I say)
IIIIIIIIII just want some fries
No, I don't want a hamburger,
No, I don't want a Coke either
IIIIIIIIII just want some fries
It just takes one taste to tell
That they make 'em salty as hell
IIIIIIIIII just want some fries[etc...]


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

To the tune off
The Offspring - Gone Away

Maybe in another song
You'd hear what I sing
But my band is playing so loud
You can't hear anything

[Chorus:]
AND I SCREAM
AND I SCREAM
SO YOU HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY
AND I SCREAM
AND I SCREAM
BUT IT'S NO USE AS MY VOICE IS DROWNED AWAY..(loud music)
[End Chorus]

I reached for the amp
And pulled out the plug
But they stole it back
Uh oh

[Chorus]
[sounds resulting from band playing while fighting over amp]


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

To the tune of
Ozzy Osbourne - Paranoid

Playing my Nintendo and I haven't been to school in days
Think I'm going to flunk out when I always used to get straight As

People say I have no social life, I tell you I don't know
Haven't showered in a week and my best friend is Mario

Can you help me?
I'm stuck on Level 3
Oh, yeah..

I need someone to show me that thing in life they call "outside"
People say its difficult, but with my Game Boy I'm all right


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

To the tune of
Bon Jovi - Wanted, Dead or Alive

It acts the same
Only the case has changed
Everyone says it's a waste of change
I should be glad I got the latest thing
I get the thought
Something's missing

I'm a Mac boy,
Got a new machine last night
And it came with
No Floppy Drive

No Floppy Drive (No Floppy Drive)
No Floppy Drive
I can't find it (I can't find)
No Floppy Drive

No Floppy Dri-i-ive
No Floppy Drive


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

To the tune of:
Rammstein - Du Hast.
(Note: Please don't ask about this one)

[repeat 5 times]
foo
foo bar
foo bar baz
[end repeat]
foo bar baz

foo bar baz quux blarg
foo bar baz quux blarg
foo bar baz quux blarg moo fnord zxc flarp

thud snork bob grault toto mumble
wibble zot flup Fred and Barney
nie! nie!


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

To the tune of:
Fallen Aeon - In The Wake of the Dark


Feed them at the pond
Bread starts to mold
Don't you feed them Alka-Seltzer or
The birds will explode

They don't want your mouldy bread
Now they're eating you instead
These birds come from Satan,
Hell's a city park

Your soul is lost
The birds are cross
In the wake of the Duck,
All is lost...

[Quack quack quaquaquack to the tune of the chords]


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

And now, for some quickies:

To the tune of:
Nine Inch Nails - Head Like a Hole

Head like a hole
Bill Gates has no soul
You put on Windows
And he takes control

Bow down before the one you serve..


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

Remember when Metallica's new album came out, and how they were supposed to suck because they cut their hair? Like they're Samson or something. Well, here's a quickie bit along those lines:

To the tune of:
Metallica - The Memory Remains

We once were great
And now we ain't
But we're still playin'
'Cause The Memory Remains!

[oldladyvoice]Me-e-e-taa-lica sucks[etc]

[endmusic]
So, if the New Metallica's so bad, then certain people who didn't like
the Old Metallica.. such as, say, your parents.. will hear this new stuff and think,
well, that old stuff wasn't so bad after all...

To the tune of:
Metallica - Unforgiven 2

Our past songs
When you'd hear
You hoped that we'd disappear
You even got our T-shirts banned from school.. Yeah,
But this verse
Is so much worse
Every time you hear it hurts
You can't believe.. But you realize it's true
This song makes Unforgiven cool


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

To the tune of
Cracker - Low

[Chorus:]

Hey - And the screen was blue again
Blue background with grey hex codes

I've seen this happen a million times before
A million times, a million times

Reboot your box girl
Your work is blown
Hey Hey Hey, you crashed Windows

[End Chorus]


o/` o/` o/` o/` o/`

Here's one with some local flavour:

To the tune of
Christine Aguwhatever - Genie in a Bottle

If you want to be with me
Then log on to my PC
I'm a weenie in Novato
A Marin super geek

I'm just a weenie from Novato baby..

And inspiration strikes (3.50 / 2) (#17)
by Perpetual Newbie on Sun May 06, 2001 at 02:24:58 PM EST

15 minutes from singing in the shower to the keyboard(and half an
hour on that last line, argh), three guesses what techie news site this one's about:

To the tune of:
Collective Soul - All

We don't try to hide
Our attitude
We don't care about
being rude

We take swipes at Intel
and Microsoft
We're not impartial
If you want news,

Bollocks is all we will give you
Bollocks is all we print
Bollocks is all you expect
Reading our news

We don't doublecheck
our rumour mills
Confirming them is
Too much work

Bollocks is all we will give you
Bollocks is all we print
Bollocks is all you expect
Reading our news

We get Flames of the Week
And we have Simon (Tra-vag-li-aaaa)
We're not reputatable
But we beat
ZeeDee

Bollocks is all we will give you
Bollocks is all we print
Bollocks is all you expect
Reading our news

Bollocks is all we will give you
Bollocks is all we print
Bollocks is all you expect
Reading our news

[ Parent ]
Another non-techno-filk (4.00 / 1) (#25)
by fluffy grue on Tue May 08, 2001 at 01:49:01 AM EST

There's a parody of "Come Out And Play (Keep 'em Separated)" by the Offspring I did a number of years ago which I never got around to recording, so it's no longer really as funny, but...

..-. .- ..-. .- ..-. .-..***
..-. .- ..-. .- ..-. .-you gotta keep refridgerated!

It's not the latest fasion
It's like a spreading disease
You gotta keep your food from getting spoiled
You gotta do it with the greatest of ease

The health board says they're shuttin' you down
You got health hazards just laying around
And if they catch you once just clownin' around
You gotta clean it up, clean it up, clean it up, clean it up!

Hey! Is that plate perfectly clean?
(No!) Shut them down!
You gotta keep refridgerated

Hey! Is that dishwasher clean?
(No!) Shut them down!
You gotta keep refridgerated!

Hey, hey, don't start a fight
The goddamned government is always ri-i-ight
Hey! Put it away!

By the time you hide it
It's already too late
The health inspector has already arrived
The food got wasted and you are a waste

The health board says they're shuttin' you down
You got health hazards just laying around
And if they catch you once just clownin' around
You gotta clean it up, clean it up, clean it up, clean it up!

Hey! Is that dishwasher clean?
(No!) Shut them down!
You gotta keep refridgerated!

Hey, hey, don't start a fight
The goddamned government is always ri-i-ight
Hey! Put it away!


--
"Is not a quine" is not a quine.
I have a master's degree in science!

[ Hug Your Trikuare ]
[ Parent ]

Not mine, link included (4.75 / 4) (#15)
by hulver on Sun May 06, 2001 at 05:36:03 AM EST

I'm no good at this sort of stuff, but here is one that made me chuckle. http://bofhcam.org/pfy/crapsody.txt

Windowsian Crapsody (C) Ben 1999 and stuff.

Is this a real OS?
Is this insanity?
Caught in a niche buy,
No escape from the GUI.
Open your eyes, look into your files and see,
Bill's just a rich boy, he needs no sympathy,
Because it's sloppy code, full of bloat, really crap, really slow,
Any way to sell 'dows doesn't really matter you see; s'not free.

Linus, just killed a corp.,
Put a gnu against its head, read the licence, now it's dead.
Linus, my code had just begun,
And now I've gone and ftp'd it all away.
Linus, GNU, Didn't mean to make(1L) you compile,
If your prompt's not back again this time tomorrow,
switch to /dev/ttyp1, and kill the PID that matters.

Too late, shutdown(8) has come,
Sends SIGTERM down my spine, cron jobs failing all the time.
Logout, ev'rybody, It's got to go,
Gotta re-compile the kernel; patch the goof.
Linus, d00d, don't want to lose uptime,
I sometimes wish I'd never been touch(1)'ed at all.

<cue MIDI-embedded web page of hampsterdance doing the guitar solo>

I see a little silhouetto of a plan,
ESR, ESR, is it catherdral or bazzaaro?
Underground of coding, very, very worrying Bill!
(Mo-no-poly.) Mo-no-poly. (Mo-no-poly.) Mo-no-poly.
Mo-no-poly figures he,
Magnifico? Eric; poor rich-boy, everybody loves he.
He's just a poor boy from a vi(1) family,
Spare him his life from this emacs-monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will you let me code.
Mozilla! No, we will not let you code.
(Let him code!) Mozilla! We will not let you code.
(Let him code!) Mozilla! We will not let you code.
(Let me code!) Will not let you code.
(Let me code!) Will not let you code. (Let me code!) Ah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(Oh Jolt-Cola, Jolt-Cola.) Jolt-Cola, let me code.
Billzebub has Windows put aside for me, for you, for thee.

<cue frenzied accordian playing by Mahir>

So you think you can install it and spit in Bill's eye.
So you think you can lilo(8), then leave it to die.
Oh, baby, it's not that easy, no baby,
There's little support, there's little support for your games.

Porting really matters, switch to BSD,
Porting really matters,
Porting really matters to me.

Anyway, it's "Wind'blows"...



--
HuSi!
Here's one about our ever-present friends... (5.00 / 2) (#18)
by MyrdemInggala on Sun May 06, 2001 at 05:21:36 PM EST

If anyone here is a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism, they may have come across the SCA filk of "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen" called "Your Local SCA". It inspired my boyfriend and me to write another filk (a meta-filk?) called "Your Friendly NSA".

It's a combination of actual current politics, conspiracy theory and X-Files / Delta Green / MIB mythos. And this is how it goes:

Your Friendly NSA

by Adrianna Pinska and Simon Cross

[ To the tune of "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen" and inspired by the SCA filk. ]

Those are not flying saucers, Ma'am,
There's nothing here to see
If you'll look at this flashing light
I'm sure you will agree
Now put that alien body down and give your film to me
For I work for your friendly NSA, NSA
For I work for your friendly NSA

Our business is surveilance, Sir,
We watch what people do
Our cameras are on every street
And in your bedroom too
We know about the crack cocaine you hide inside your loo
For we are your friendly NSA, NSA
For we are your friendly NSA

With Echelon and Carnivore
We monitor the net
Your day of noise and silly pranks
Is not much of a threat
You think you're safe in Europe, but on that we wouldn't bet
We all laugh at your email every day, every day -
We work hard at your local NSA

Our data is encrypted, Sir,
Our laptops are secure
And if you crack our servers, we
Don't wait 'till you mature -
Now kiss your l33t machine goodbye; we'll keep it safe, I'm sure
All the courts do exactly as we say, as we say
For we are your friendly NSA

Our suits are all a matching grey
Our dress sense is a bore
Our shades are uniformly black
Uniqueness we deplore
And can you tell if I'm the agent that you met before?
We're the clones from your friendly NSA, NSA
We're the clones from your friendly NSA

We don't work for the ATF
We shun the FBI
Those losers at the CIA
They don't know how to spy
GCHQ, the KGB, Mossad and MI5
They're no match for your friendly NSA, NSA
They're no match for your friendly NSA

The cleanup crew is almost done
You'd best avert your eyes
You have seen nothing here at all
This I must emphasize
For if you don't co-operate we'll say you're Russian spies
So forget that we had this chat today, today
Or you'll hear from your friendly NSA

-- 22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. -- Evil Overlord List
For more well-done song parodies... (MLP) (3.00 / 1) (#19)
by MisterX on Sun May 06, 2001 at 09:11:39 PM EST

Check out Bob Rivers and Twisted Tunes. Lots of stuff here. Mostly very funny.

Warning: this site is trying to sell stuff too. You don't have to buy anything to listen to the music though.



Bjarney (4.50 / 4) (#20)
by fluffy grue on Mon May 07, 2001 at 01:32:17 AM EST

A few years ago I was really bored in a hardware architecture class, and I decided to write a few songs as sung by our favorite purple language dinosaur, Bjarney Stroudstrup:

I love OO
OO loves me
Let's inbreed the object tree
Multiple inheritance is useful and it's fun
Let's abuse it, everyone

I love OO
OO loves me
We need to pretend to be C
A base object class would make this really hard
So use templates, don't be a 'tard

I love OO
OO loves me
Let's do language kludgily
Templates, streams and bracket overloads
Why do people think it blows?

I love OO
OO loves me
Structs are objects, can't you see?
We let them have the object's overhead
So your program performs like lead

(Note: I was pretty bitter about C++ at the time, obviously. I still dislike those aspects of C++, but I've decided that even with that, C++ is overall better than the alternatives, so... :)
--
"Is not a quine" is not a quine.
I have a master's degree in science!

[ Hug Your Trikuare ]

From the other site, USian Pie (5.00 / 6) (#22)
by georgeha on Mon May 07, 2001 at 03:17:47 PM EST

I'd say the following counts, as it is a big part of the geek weblog culture.

USian Pie

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How the trollers used to make me smile

And I knew if I had to boast
That I could try to get first post
And maybe I'd be happy for a while

But moderators made me shiver
With every minus they'd deliver

DoS scripts couldn't stop it
They scored them all "Offtopic"

I know that it's cheap crack they smoke
And meta-moderation's broke
At first I thought it was a joke
The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --
Bye, bye, MEEPTy, OOG, and Grits guy
Drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh*
Those Steve Woston posts that we all knew were a lie
Wonder what became of girls petrified?
What became of girls petrified?
--

Did you write a bunch of Perl?
And did it make you want to hurl
Feces at the Wall?

Can you believe these lame-ass polls?
Do you post big stretched-out assholes?
Can you make the goatse.cx link not show?

Well I know you think that Siggy sucked
Will the real Bruce Perens please stand up?

The bots don't have a clue.
Man, I dig those trolls from Shoe!

I was a rabid Free Speech advocate
With a Red Hat T-shirt and a Free Beer gut
Bought my Sony laptop working Pizza Hut
The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --

It's been two years since the IPO
And LNUX sinks to all-time lows
But that's not how it used to be

When Spiral showed how it was done
Trolling as Jon Erikson
Who worked for NPO Technologies

Oh and while they tried to filter posts
Somebody rooted Slashdot's host

"Crack Slashdot? That's absurd!"
Better go change your password

While JonKatz wrote a Hellmouth book
By using posts he simply took
And we flamed him till he was cooked
The day that trolltalk died

And we were singin....

-- Chorus --

10 grams. Inchfan. Didn't log out. Goddamn
The mods will find the sid real soon, man
You can't hide if you aren't AC

Your bud (George here) tried BSD
A dead Streetlawyer's tips were free
And WIPO helped letsriot turn Nazi

70 made his percents up
While 80md warned "liberals suck"

The moon does not exist
It's just a liberal myth

Oh and as Taco tried to take a nap
We forced him to invoke bitchslaps
Do you recall the flood of crap
The day that trolltalk died?

We started singin....

-- Chorus --

Oh and then we were wearing out "All your base"
And started posting monospace
The better for our penis birds

So come on, be a zealot, be a dick
You don't think Anne Marie's a chick?
Because lying's all we do about HURD

So go and push for BSD
And say GPL isn't free

Slow down, cowboy! The limit
Is one post every minute

Now tell the right wing facist slime
Infringing on Your Rights Online
That they can't censor all the time
The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --

I met a troll they called The Rev
And asked him if CD BREAK HEAD
He said, "That's old. Get over it."

And with all the courage I could muster
"Imagine what a Beowulf cluster...."
But it wasn't worth the trouble to submit

The karma caps are just plain jive
And everyone's moved to K5

The steelcage has grown rusted
And Geekizoid is busted

The three sites I don't see for weeks
Segfault, kernel, Comp-u-geek
Code is not art. This ain't Freshmeat
The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --



User Friendly (5.00 / 1) (#23)
by unstable on Mon May 07, 2001 at 03:25:24 PM EST

User Friendly does some filk stuff sometimes on sundays.. this being the latest one

Also sometimes in the coments there are some "user created" ones





Reverend Unstable
all praise the almighty Bob
and be filled with slack

I want my MP3 (4.00 / 3) (#24)
by jabber on Mon May 07, 2001 at 04:10:58 PM EST

Now look at them lawyers, that's the way you do it
You sue the whole net over the MP3
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Music for nothin' and tunes for free
No, that ain't legal, that's the way they do it
Lemme tell ya them geeks ain't dumb
Hit the Napster site to get a whole album
Leach a few tracks using Gnutella

We gotta block all napster port traffic
Custom firewall .configs
We gotta do it in the name of bandwidth
We gotta stop those MP3s

See that CEO with the torn jeans and the T-shirt
No buddy, he's no MBA
That little punk kid runs a million dollar web-site
That little punk kid just filed an IPO

I shouldda learned to hack the TCP/IP stack
I shouldda learned to rip CDs
Look at Lars Ulrich, man! He's flipping off the camera
Ugh! RIAA is still making money hand over fist
Hey, who's there? What's that? Downloading noises?
Filling up the next Gig cause the music's free
That ain't legal? That's the way they do it
Get their music for nothin' and your tunes for free

No, that ain't consumerism, that's the way we do it
We listen to all our music as an MP3
It's not stealing, it's the new way to do it
Music for nothing and your tunes for free
Music for nothing, tunes for free
Music for nothing, tunes for free

[TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"

To the tune of Eleanor Rigby (2.66 / 3) (#26)
by pmk on Tue May 08, 2001 at 10:39:27 AM EST

William H Gates 3
Makes a few bucks on each PC that's made
They call it free trade.
There isn't a refund
There isn't a choice, you must pay, you must pay
It's the only way

All those Windows users
Where do they all come from?
All those Windows users
That's where they all come from.

Want a new PC
Upgrade to kernel 2.4 USB
Great software, it's free.
Still pay for Windows
The drone on the phone won't give you the box without it
Hey Bill, you're a shit.

All those Windows users
Where do they all come from?
All those Windows users
That's where they all come from.

old rant (none / 0) (#27)
by tralfamadore on Wed May 09, 2001 at 07:55:35 AM EST

ok, in hindsight, i'm not this opinionated anymore about the
napster/metallica issue, but it irked me enough when it came out that i wrote this ranting parody (thanks google! sorry, couldn't get a message id):


Napster You Bastards
(with no apologies to the fuckheaded old fogies in metallica)
--------------------------------

MP3s you play, take our cash away
Money's thicker than our fan base
All our songs you hear, free speech, not free beer
Time to start a big fat court case
Trade them you will see
Our lawsuit you will heed
You downloading too?
Now we'll sue you too!

<chorus>
We are such bastards
We'll go sue Napster
You download faster
We'll go sue Napster
Napster!
Napster you bastards, we're suing your ass
Twisting the truth, and worshipping cash
Blinded by greed, heads up our ass
Just trade a song, and we'll nab you fast
Napster!
Napster!
</chorus>

RIAA showed the way, we deserve more pay
Our "art" no longer will be traded
Bad technology, throw a big hissy
Mass of fans will be degraded
Trade them you will see
Our lawsuit you will heed
You downloading too?
Now we'll sue you too!

<chorus>

Napster, Napster, where's the money we are after?
Napster, Napster, you're taking all our cash
Laughter, laughter, all fans hear is laughter
Laughter, laughter, laughing at their cries
(we suck!)

#include crappy hammett guitar solo

Money's worth all that, eating where we shat
Just a suit without a reason
We are stupid fucks, we'll be out of luck
When the fans cry out "Treason!"
We will bitch and moan
Fans will sigh and groan
We don't have a clue
Why they hiss and boo

<chorus>


PS - Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre can suck a big fat diiiiiiiiiick!

(c) Me you stupid fuckheaded old fogeys! it falls under parody
as fair use, so blow it out your ass!

-----

yeah, i know, please save all flames.

Not my song, but... (none / 0) (#28)
by Phil Gregory on Wed May 09, 2001 at 09:17:21 AM EST

Ok, so I don't have much talent in this arena, but I've liked a lot of Bob Kanefsky's stuff, especially The Eternal Flame (aka God Wrote in Lisp).



--Phil (Just some MLP to help you through your day.)
355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation!
Ah! RIAA! (none / 0) (#29)
by greycat on Wed May 09, 2001 at 03:06:12 PM EST

I wrote this in August of 2000, and posted it to Fairtunes on their old discussion board.

RIAA it's been a long long time you're such a fighter
Buying more laws than a body has a right to
Don't you know you're playing with a fire
But you can't stop our sharing desire
RIAA

Ah RIAA... here we go again...
Ah RIAA... is it ever gonna end?
Ah RIAA... here we go again...

I see your hits and I wonder who's been ripping them
Artists know how badly you've been gypping them
We all know you're never gonna make it
But when you sue, you never have to fake it
RIAA

Ah RIAA... here we go again...
Ah RIAA... is it ever gonna end?
Ah RIAA... here we go again...

Baby it's no good, you're just asking for trouble
You can't touch us and you know we'll never love ya
It ain't no use, you're headed for disaster
Your suits said no, but your fans are using Napster
RIAA

Ah RIAA... here we go again...
Ah RIAA... you're never ever ever gonna make it, yeah...
Ah RIAA

[cc] Counter-copyright 2000 greycat
Apologies to Donny Iris


Techno-Filk IV - The Return of Insanity | 30 comments (25 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
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